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How do I rid my heart of remaining bitter roots?
- By Paulwat
- General Struggles
- 6 Replies
Hi ReuleauxMan, 
Thank you for opening up with such vulnerability and depth. Your story is powerful, and your heart for Jesus—even after all the emotional injury you’ve endured—is deeply moving. The fact that you’re actively seeking healing, not just for yourself but with a desire to avoid bitterness and even wish repentance for your abusers, shows a maturity and humility that only comes from walking closely with God.
You asked some incredibly deep questions, and I’d like to humbly offer a few thoughts and encouragements:
One practical tool: when a bitter or resentful thought arises, pause and name it. “This is bitterness rising. Lord, I give it to You again.” You may have to do this 100 times a day at first, but every time is a victory. Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event.
Turn that passion into compassion, and keep praying for those still in darkness. Your story, even the painful chapters, may become part of their rescue someday.
You are already becoming “wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove” by asking these questions. The bitter roots may still have tips in your heart, but the soil around them has been made soft by Christ’s love and your willingness to be transformed.
Keep praying. Keep surrendering. Keep forgiving as often as it takes. This is sanctification, and Jesus is walking right beside you the whole way.
May His peace guard your heart and mind (Philippians 4:7),– A brother in Christ ✝
Hope this helps you.
Thank you for opening up with such vulnerability and depth. Your story is powerful, and your heart for Jesus—even after all the emotional injury you’ve endured—is deeply moving. The fact that you’re actively seeking healing, not just for yourself but with a desire to avoid bitterness and even wish repentance for your abusers, shows a maturity and humility that only comes from walking closely with God.
You asked some incredibly deep questions, and I’d like to humbly offer a few thoughts and encouragements:
1. Forgiveness Without Closure
Yes, it is possible to forgive those you may never see again. Forgiveness isn’t about saying “what happened was okay.” It’s about saying I will not carry this weight anymore—I trust God with the justice. Turning them and their offense over to Jesus is not just valid, it’s powerful. Jesus knows injustice intimately, and He is a faithful High Priest who sympathizes with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). You may never get the apology, but you can still hand the pain over to the One who sees it all.2. Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation
Your instincts are right—some people are unsafe. Forgiveness doesn’t mean opening yourself up to further abuse. It simply means you’re no longer letting them live rent-free in your head or heart. Like you said, forgive, but don’t forget in the sense of discernment. The Apostle Paul fled cities when things got dangerous, and Jesus did walk away at times (John 8:59). It’s okay to walk away too.3. About Bitterness and C-PTSD
Bitterness is sneaky—it often feels like strength, like protection. But over time, it becomes a weight. And for someone like you, who has autism and C-PTSD, I want to affirm that your nervous system is not your fault. You freeze not because you are weak but because your body is protecting itself the only way it knows how. This isn’t moral failure—it’s injury. Be gentle with yourself.One practical tool: when a bitter or resentful thought arises, pause and name it. “This is bitterness rising. Lord, I give it to You again.” You may have to do this 100 times a day at first, but every time is a victory. Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event.
4. Learning to Respond Instead of Freeze
This takes time, practice, and grace. One small suggestion: rehearse loving but firm responses in advance. Even something like:Also, try role-playing or journaling hypothetical situations. It might sound small, but preemptively preparing a response can lower the freeze instinct over time.
5. Bitterness Toward the Broken World
You mentioned rage at how trauma ruins people and how some turn away from God forever. That righteous anger is understandable. But remember, Jesus, too, wept over Jerusalem. He was heartbroken, not bitter. You’re in good company when you grieve evil.Turn that passion into compassion, and keep praying for those still in darkness. Your story, even the painful chapters, may become part of their rescue someday.
You are already becoming “wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove” by asking these questions. The bitter roots may still have tips in your heart, but the soil around them has been made soft by Christ’s love and your willingness to be transformed.
Keep praying. Keep surrendering. Keep forgiving as often as it takes. This is sanctification, and Jesus is walking right beside you the whole way.
May His peace guard your heart and mind (Philippians 4:7),– A brother in Christ ✝
Hope this helps you.
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anyone know anything about Gematria?
- By Benaiah468
- MILLENNIALS (1981 to 1998)
- 97 Replies
In Hebrew, the word bara is used to describe the act of creation. It appears 47 times in the OT and always describes an action of G-d.
In the beginning G-d created the heaven and the earth. Gen 1:1
בְּרֵאשִׁ֖ית בָּרָ֣א אֱלֹהִ֑ים אֵ֥ת הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם וְאֵ֥ת הָאָֽרֶץ
Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim ve'et ha'aretz
Bereshit usually means In the beginning G-d created...
It is certainly not wrong to say,
As the first fruits, G-d created...
Christ was the first fruits of G-d.
But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. 1 Cor 15:23
The six letters of the first word
בראשית
Bereshit
are sometimes compared to the 6 days of creation.
Bereshit contains the words for
rosh (head)
and for
bayith (house/household).
Christ is the head of G-d's household.
The first and last two letters in the word bereshit,
form the word berith (covenant) while the remaining inner letters
form the word esh (fire), which indicates that the act of creation itself was a fire.
The word of G-d is compared to fire, which often symbolizes His jealousy in relation to his covenant. G-d revealed himself to Moses as a burning bush
And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt. And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, G-d called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. Ex 3:2-4
and later as a consuming fire
For the Lord thy G-d is a consuming fire, even a jealous G-d. Deu 4:24
Fire surrounded Mount Sinai
(I stood between the Lord and you at that time, to shew you the word of the Lord: for ye were afraid by reason of the fire, and went not up into the mount saying, Deu 5:5
The fire of G-d consumed the holy sacrifices
And there came a fire out from before the Lord, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat: which when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces. Lev.9:24
Then the angel of the Lord put forth the end of the staff that was in his hand, and touched the flesh and the unleavened cakes; and there rose up fire out of the rock, and consumed the flesh and the unleavened cakes. Then the angel of the Lord departed out of his sight. Judg 6:21
and was present in the service of the prophets
And Elijah answered and said unto them, If I be a man of G-d, let fire come down from heaven, and consume thee and thy fifty. And the fire of G-d came down from heaven, and consumed him and his fifty. 2 Kgs 1:12
Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. Jer 20:9
Indeed, the word of G-d is comparable to fire itself
Is not my word like as a fire? saith the Lord; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces? Jer 23:29
a destructive force for those who take offense at the glory of G-d, but a source of warmth and comfort for those who heed the message.
In Bereshit the letter combination
bara, is often associated with the concept of creation, particularly in the context of G-d creating the world, it can also carry the meaning of cutting down or clearing in certain contexts.
On the other hand, the verb s hith, can translated as to set in place or to put. This captures the essence of the word, indicating a deliberate action of positioning something.
Together with the second word bara, meaning to create, the first two word combinations can be read as create, clear, and set in place again, which is what G-d has done and will do again, because in Bereshit, as we have already seen, we have the word fire together with the word covenant.
G-d will destroy heaven and earth and create a new heaven and earth.
For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind. Isa 65:17
For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the Lord, so shall your seed and your name remain. Isa 66:22
But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 2 Pe 3:10
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. Rev 21:1
And all of this points to the Son of G-d through the first two letters
in Bereshit, bar = son (from Aramaic).
It is often used in names and titles, such as in Bar Mitzvah, which literally means son of the commandment and marks a Jewish religious ceremony for young men when they come of age. It can also be found in the Aramaic section of the Book of Daniel.
From the perspective of the first sentence of the Torah, He is the Creator (bara = created, 2nd word), from the perspective of the first word, He is the head of the house of G-d, and from the position of the first two letters of the very first word, He is the SON OF G-D.
If the Redeemer is named at the beginning, even before the creation of man, then the decision to sin was predestined, was it not?
It was not predetermined, but calculated through the free will of man. G-d created humans with free will. He gave them the freedom to decide what they wanted to do with their lives. This means that they can choose to sin, but this brings suffering. However, G-d had a plan in place in advance to deal with this problem.
In the beginning G-d created the heaven and the earth. Gen 1:1
בְּרֵאשִׁ֖ית בָּרָ֣א אֱלֹהִ֑ים אֵ֥ת הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם וְאֵ֥ת הָאָֽרֶץ
Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim ve'et ha'aretz
Bereshit usually means In the beginning G-d created...
It is certainly not wrong to say,
As the first fruits, G-d created...
Christ was the first fruits of G-d.
But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. 1 Cor 15:23
The six letters of the first word
בראשית
Bereshit
are sometimes compared to the 6 days of creation.
Bereshit contains the words for
rosh (head)
and for
bayith (house/household).
Christ is the head of G-d's household.
The first and last two letters in the word bereshit,
form the word berith (covenant) while the remaining inner letters
form the word esh (fire), which indicates that the act of creation itself was a fire.
The word of G-d is compared to fire, which often symbolizes His jealousy in relation to his covenant. G-d revealed himself to Moses as a burning bush
And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt. And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, G-d called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. Ex 3:2-4
and later as a consuming fire
For the Lord thy G-d is a consuming fire, even a jealous G-d. Deu 4:24
Fire surrounded Mount Sinai
(I stood between the Lord and you at that time, to shew you the word of the Lord: for ye were afraid by reason of the fire, and went not up into the mount saying, Deu 5:5
The fire of G-d consumed the holy sacrifices
And there came a fire out from before the Lord, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat: which when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces. Lev.9:24
Then the angel of the Lord put forth the end of the staff that was in his hand, and touched the flesh and the unleavened cakes; and there rose up fire out of the rock, and consumed the flesh and the unleavened cakes. Then the angel of the Lord departed out of his sight. Judg 6:21
and was present in the service of the prophets
And Elijah answered and said unto them, If I be a man of G-d, let fire come down from heaven, and consume thee and thy fifty. And the fire of G-d came down from heaven, and consumed him and his fifty. 2 Kgs 1:12
Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. Jer 20:9
Indeed, the word of G-d is comparable to fire itself
Is not my word like as a fire? saith the Lord; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces? Jer 23:29
a destructive force for those who take offense at the glory of G-d, but a source of warmth and comfort for those who heed the message.
In Bereshit the letter combination
bara, is often associated with the concept of creation, particularly in the context of G-d creating the world, it can also carry the meaning of cutting down or clearing in certain contexts.
On the other hand, the verb s hith, can translated as to set in place or to put. This captures the essence of the word, indicating a deliberate action of positioning something.
Together with the second word bara, meaning to create, the first two word combinations can be read as create, clear, and set in place again, which is what G-d has done and will do again, because in Bereshit, as we have already seen, we have the word fire together with the word covenant.
G-d will destroy heaven and earth and create a new heaven and earth.
For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind. Isa 65:17
For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the Lord, so shall your seed and your name remain. Isa 66:22
But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 2 Pe 3:10
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. Rev 21:1
And all of this points to the Son of G-d through the first two letters
in Bereshit, bar = son (from Aramaic).
It is often used in names and titles, such as in Bar Mitzvah, which literally means son of the commandment and marks a Jewish religious ceremony for young men when they come of age. It can also be found in the Aramaic section of the Book of Daniel.
From the perspective of the first sentence of the Torah, He is the Creator (bara = created, 2nd word), from the perspective of the first word, He is the head of the house of G-d, and from the position of the first two letters of the very first word, He is the SON OF G-D.
If the Redeemer is named at the beginning, even before the creation of man, then the decision to sin was predestined, was it not?
It was not predetermined, but calculated through the free will of man. G-d created humans with free will. He gave them the freedom to decide what they wanted to do with their lives. This means that they can choose to sin, but this brings suffering. However, G-d had a plan in place in advance to deal with this problem.
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