Looking to get a little more insight from multiple people from multiple backgrounds on this. Thank you in advance to anyone who responds.
I started as Catholic, then got "saved" in a missionary servicemen's outreach chapel. Then I fell from my so-called faith as I was so busy with mainly criticizing everybody, Christians or not. Then I got into a mess and thought of the thief on the cross, how he only knew he needed Jesus and to trust in Jesus, and Jesus would know what to do with me. And since then I have trusted God to makes me submissive to Him so at each moment I can discover what He does with me. So, in case I became a Christian by getting into more ongoing personal submission to Jesus, here is what I have been discovering >
-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?
I understood that there are people to help me, and I need to be ready to love and deal with ones who are not being good to me. Because Jesus expects us to love any and all people >
"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15)
Love and give and help without requiring anything in return, I understood Jesus to mean. And in case I was refused somewhere . . . leave them and discover what God does with me.
-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?
The ones who are Christian would be good with me, and others would not and were there for me to reach them for Jesus. And Jesus says God is in control of what happens to me, and God takes care of me.
-What was your first experience with the church community?
If "first" was the missionary church, I was glad to be able to give testimonies and invite people to church so they could be saved. And the people were pretty good to me, but warning me not to be so critical and showing off.
If my real conversion was the thief on the cross approach . . . then I went with a lot of churches that I pretty much integrated by being there. And I had a chance to discover how each group could have people who were not right but others were with it and my good examples of how I need to worship God and relate in love. Then I went homeless, on purpose, and discovered outreach people who could be different ways, and in various churches I visited on foot from Boston to North Carolina it was pretty much the same: the functional church of Jesus is honorable and good in example, wherever Jesus sheep are, while church culture people can be a problem, but are there to be reached for Jesus.
-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?
My biggest surprise was how I was my main problem. As I learned how to love in sharing with God, things have grown much better, including now I have had my lady friend for about thirteen years. And I can stay in the same church without leaving in a huff. One "joke" was I supposed I had the teaching gift, but ones did not accept me and I would leave in a huff. Then it came to me that if I had the teaching gift, it was going to first and mainly teach *me* how to love!!! And I could see how I was not loving each person the way Jesus expects.
And then, as I got into praying to find and honor and learn from ones who were genuinely loving, I could discover people like this and feed on their good example. But then, yes, surprise!! Ones who seemed like good examples could turn out to have issues I did not expect. But this is why God's word says to be always ready with "longsuffering" > in Ephesians 4:2 > and forgiveness, never to give up on anyone > love "hopes all things" > in 1 Corinthians 13:7.
At times, after I left a place where I felt I was rejected, I might go back and visit and be surprised at how ones missed me and even might be more courteous with me, like they realized they had not related with me like they should. And I discovered how ones could be right by criticizing me, not rejecting, but caring about how it would be to have me with them and trying to help me so I could do better with other people. I was the one who could be the wrong way.
-How do you feel now about your place in the church?
Glad to be here. But I need to keep alive with hope for any and all others . . . never giving up on anyone. And the Sunday culture is not the church. Jesus and His sheep are all the time.