My Minister, is appointed by the Lord, to teach me, to lead me and to watch over me, just as a Shepherd watches over his flock. The Lord raised him up and ordained him for this purpose, so I am obliged to submit myself to his authority because he is responsible to God for my soul.
Being a member of the Body of Christ, means that I'm a sheep and my Minister is the Shepherd. So I don't have the authority to challenge his teaching, so when He instructs me to have no fellowship with those who reject the gospel, then I must obey or, face disciplinarily action, including excommunication.
I can't tell you're not a leader of any kind yourself yourself, so you know what I mean.
There is only one true gospel and that is the gospel of the Lord Jesus, likewise there is only One true Church and that is the Body of the Lord Jesus. You can't find it because it's by election only, God draws His elect to His Son. He does this by quickening His elect to life (we are all born dead in sin), then He uses His men to preach the gospel to us and we respond by the faith that God gifted His elect with.
To understand what the Lord Jesus meant by saying "love your enemy", you first need to understand what the word "love" means. I'd suggest you do a bible study on what it means, but I'll just give you a brief overview here>>>
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".
As you can see, love is not the sensual thing the world thinks it is. Gods people love ther enemies by living faithful lives and that preaches the gospel louder than words. So it's really about living the God given faith, and not simply "flapping our lips" as you rightly pointed out.
I still don't know what point you were trying to make, would you kindly stake your claim, in plain language. I'm not very good at solving riddles.