I’ve always struggled with feeling God’s presence. It’s hard having faith in something I can’t feel or haven’t really EXPERIENCED in the way I hear stories about. It makes me scared that my faith isn’t genuine or if I’m doing something wrong.

I’ve been a Christian since I was 4. Yes, this has haunted me for awhile because I feel like that was way too young, but I feel as if I’ve had enough faith since then (and panic prayers) that at some point it really did become genuine. Plus I read “Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart” by JD Grear to help with some of my fears.

But now, I don’t know if I’m just backsliding or if it’s something more serious.

I’ve never been good at prayer or Bible reading. I get distracted. I get busy. I have really good phases where I do it daily and then I drop off and have trouble getting back on it. But even then, it feels more like studying and learning information instead of meditating and sitting with God. I read, do a quick prayer, and go about my day. I’ve tried to sit with Him more, but then my thoughts just wander, and I don’t ever hear Him or feel Him.

I keep trying to pray for God to reveal Himself to me. To ease my anxiety. To give me some kind of answer. But I hear nothing. And then I just become less motivated to read the Bible or pray. I’ve never been good at praying anyway.

I don’t know what to do at this point. Has anyone else experienced this? Is this normal for Christians to just feel distant? I feel like most of my “encounters” with God have just been vicariously through others. I know all the answers to questions at church, am very familiar with the Bible, and serve regularly, but it just feels like I’m following obligation and not living by faith.

It feels like I’m just forcing everything, and I don’t know how to make it feel real.

The story of Santa Claus has a dark origin in the legends of Saint Nicholas, who is said to have resurrected three boys murdered and pickled by an evil innkeeper. This gruesome tale was a part of his mythos in medieval Europe and contributed to his being associated with dark companions like Krampus or Père Fouettard, who punish naughty children. Over time, the modern, cheerful Santa Claus image emerged, largely through Clement C. Moore's poem and Thomas Nast's illustrations, which downplayed or ignored these darker origins.

And don't forget what the name 'Santa' is an anagram of.

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Was Jesus really born on December 25th when the sheep were lying low ?

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