The Venting Thread

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

I wish God would give me a Man that truly genuinely loved me, a Man who would stay faithful to me and not cheat on me.

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

I sometimes feel like there is no Man who will ever truly love me.

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

I think I will stay away from all dating apps/dating sites. Too many perverts.

 

[bèlla]

I don't know your age or dating experience. But from what I've observed from your posts I don't believe the Internet is the best medium for meeting suitors. You seem naive and trusting and very eager. That isn't ideal for a setting where discrimination is a must to determine the person's character. You're more likely to believe what you've heard which can lead to future hardships.

Just because others are doing it doesn't mean you should follow suit. I don't know your circumstances but it appeared rushed from my vantage point. One minute he's a partner and the next he's your fiancé. Your replies reveal a deep longing for love and companionship.

There's nothing wrong with that but it has to be tempered. Or the other person may feel smothered or overwhelmed and think you're desperate. You have a child-like nature and that requires a certain temperament. A protector of sorts.

Someone like @SarahsKnight. Not him in particular. But a man who possesses a similar tenderness and appreciation for innocence. They're not put off by naïveté or desirous of the most experienced woman. They don't mind quirks or taking a girl under their wings.

I understand because I've been there. The time away from the dating market put me at a disadvantage that my friends tried to compensate unsuccessfully. I was naive and trusting and assumed the other was equally honest. I had my share of growing pains during that period and stopped listening to them. They meant well but they were equally clueless.

What helped me move beyond it and find the one I sought was much needed introspection. I was swimming against the current and allowing my attractions to influence my decisions. I gave greater consideration to my needs and weaknesses and contemplated the things I lacked.

While I endeavor to improve there are places where I fall short and I looked for suitors who were strong where I was weak. I acknowledged my need for safety and restricted myself to men who possessed that quality. I did the same for other things that supported my happiness and didn't compromise.

You have to develop no fly zones and maintain your boundaries. You can't have on and off again relationships. They're unsettling. You can't build a future with someone who doesn't honor his word or keep his promises. And you can't make anyone stay. If they don't see your value they won't stay put and you have no business marrying someone who doesn't.

You can't lose yourself in euphoria and get swept away. You need to remain grounded while you determine if you're the right fit for one another. That isn't possible when you're in the clouds. The rhapsody comes afterward. After you've tied the knot. That's when you let yourself go but until it happens you hold yourself in check. He can always change his mind.

As you mature you'll learn the value of keeping things to yourself. As Mary demonstrated.

But Mary treasured all these things, giving careful thought to them and pondering them in her heart.

Everything has an incubation period. We have to allow things to develop in their own time. That requires silence. There will be a time for discussion but not in the early stages. Wait until they're solidified.

Marriage is a huge commitment. Before you promise yourself to another you need to see a pattern of honoring commitments and staying the course. And if doesn't exist don't marry him. It's easy to promise change and a new leaf but we're creatures of habit.

The person you see is who you're marrying. Not their potential or the person you believe he could become. The real him will show up most of all. Make sure you can live with it.

I've given you a hint on the kind of man you should consider. @SarahsKnight is a sweetheart. He's one of the few who've seen my softer side because he won't exploit it. I don't need to put up my guard to talk to him. He doesn't have an agenda and that's what you want.

Stick with a man you can handle. Don't get someone out of your league that will manipulate you and have your head full of cotton candy. You don't need the most experienced guy. @DragonFox91 has never dated. But he knows how to treat a woman and his wife will be spoiled.

Take this time to grow in your womanliness and deepen your understanding of marriage. I think you'd be blessed by Daphne Aviyah's ministry and her courtship series may be edifying. Remain in prayer and trust the Lord through your valley.

Kindly,

~bella

 

[SarahsKnight]

Someone like @SarahsKnight. Not him in particular. But a man who possesses a similar tenderness and appreciation for innocence. They're not put off by naïveté or desirous of the most experienced woman. They don't mind quirks or taking a girl under their wings.

Yeah, I guess that is true of me.



I am really sorry this has happened to you, Miss Lion. (@GodJesusAndChocolate ) Considering your seemingly perfectly innocent desire to be loved, I imagine this must be very difficult to endure the constant betrayals and losses that you have acknowledged on here so many times over the three years or so I have known you to be at CF. I do pray that it gets better for you, and the Lord will help you find your peace.

 

[bèlla]

Yeah, I guess that is true of me.

You are kindhearted and I mentioned you both for a reason. Society promotes certain attributes but it doesn't mean it's best. You have to find the person who fits your nature. The relationship is bettered when you do. It takes awhile for women to grasp that.

 

[RileyG]

I wish God would give me a Man that truly genuinely loved me, a Man who would stay faithful to me and not cheat on me.


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I will pray for you

 

[RileyG]

I think I will stay away from all dating apps/dating sites. Too many perverts.

That’s a good idea.

 

[peaceful-forest]

Earlier this week, I was browsing a Gab account that had posted some interesting but false teachings about the Jews.

One of them was about King Solomon of the Old Testament. Apparently there is a book that claims that Solomon used demons to build the first temple. I found it outrageous and it had me wondering what message(s) the book author and the Gab user were trying to convey.

 

[Michie]

Earlier this week, I was browsing a Gab account that had posted some interesting but false teachings about the Jews.

One of them was about King Solomon of the Old Testament. Apparently there is a book that claims that Solomon used demons to build the first temple. I found it outrageous and it had me wondering what message(s) the book author and the Gab user were trying to convey.

Antisemitism maybe?

 

[bèlla]

Earlier this week, I was browsing a Gab account that had posted some interesting but false teachings about the Jews.

One of them was about King Solomon of the Old Testament. Apparently there is a book that claims that Solomon used demons to build the first temple. I found it outrageous and it had me wondering what message(s) the book author and the Gab user were trying to convey.

The book they're referencing does exist and it's popular in occult circles. It's very old. I don't know why a Christian would need to read that. Unless they're involved in work or ministries that deal with cults, ritualistic abuse and things along those lines. To familiarize yourself with their practices and become acquainted with the symbolism. Barring those reasons you'll open a door. A very bad door.

Solomon did evil [things] in the sight of the LORD, and did not follow the LORD fully, as his father David had done. Then Solomon built a high place for [worshiping] Chemosh the horror (detestable idol) of Moab, on the hill which is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the horror (detestable idol) of the sons of Ammon. And he did the same for all of his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.

This is probably the basis for the accusation.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

There is a Jewish element. Another text exists that's older than the other. It was written in Hebrew and Aramaic and is referenced in another book by a noted Jewish author.

~bella

 

[returntosender]

I sometimes feel like there is no Man who will ever truly love me.

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With cookies like that, how can they not?

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

I will pray for you

Thank you my Friend. [Hugs]

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

With cookies like that, how can they not?

Aww this made me smile. Thank you. [Hugs]

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

I don't know your age or dating experience. But from what I've observed from your posts I don't believe the Internet is the best medium for meeting suitors. You seem naive and trusting and very eager. That isn't ideal for a setting where discrimination is a must to determine the person's character. You're more likely to believe what you've heard which can lead to future hardships.

Just because others are doing it doesn't mean you should follow suit. I don't know your circumstances but it appeared rushed from my vantage point. One minute he's a partner and the next he's your fiancé. Your replies reveal a deep longing for love and companionship.

There's nothing wrong with that but it has to be tempered. Or the other person may feel smothered or overwhelmed and think you're desperate. You have a child-like nature and that requires a certain temperament. A protector of sorts.

Someone like @SarahsKnight. Not him in particular. But a man who possesses a similar tenderness and appreciation for innocence. They're not put off by naïveté or desirous of the most experienced woman. They don't mind quirks or taking a girl under their wings.

I understand because I've been there. The time away from the dating market put me at a disadvantage that my friends tried to compensate unsuccessfully. I was naive and trusting and assumed the other was equally honest. I had my share of growing pains during that period and stopped listening to them. They meant well but they were equally clueless.

What helped me move beyond it and find the one I sought was much needed introspection. I was swimming against the current and allowing my attractions to influence my decisions. I gave greater consideration to my needs and weaknesses and contemplated the things I lacked.

While I endeavor to improve there are places where I fall short and I looked for suitors who were strong where I was weak. I acknowledged my need for safety and restricted myself to men who possessed that quality. I did the same for other things that supported my happiness and didn't compromise.

You have to develop no fly zones and maintain your boundaries. You can't have on and off again relationships. They're unsettling. You can't build a future with someone who doesn't honor his word or keep his promises. And you can't make anyone stay. If they don't see your value they won't stay put and you have no business marrying someone who doesn't.

You can't lose yourself in euphoria and get swept away. You need to remain grounded while you determine if you're the right fit for one another. That isn't possible when you're in the clouds. The rhapsody comes afterward. After you've tied the knot. That's when you let yourself go but until it happens you hold yourself in check. He can always change his mind.

As you mature you'll learn the value of keeping things to yourself. As Mary demonstrated.

But Mary treasured all these things, giving careful thought to them and pondering them in her heart.

Everything has an incubation period. We have to allow things to develop in their own time. That requires silence. There will be a time for discussion but not in the early stages. Wait until they're solidified.

Marriage is a huge commitment. Before you promise yourself to another you need to see a pattern of honoring commitments and staying the course. And if doesn't exist don't marry him. It's easy to promise change and a new leaf but we're creatures of habit.

The person you see is who you're marrying. Not their potential or the person you believe he could become. The real him will show up most of all. Make sure you can live with it.

I've given you a hint on the kind of man you should consider. @SarahsKnight is a sweetheart. He's one of the few who've seen my softer side because he won't exploit it. I don't need to put up my guard to talk to him. He doesn't have an agenda and that's what you want.

Stick with a man you can handle. Don't get someone out of your league that will manipulate you and have your head full of cotton candy. You don't need the most experienced guy. @DragonFox91 has never dated. But he knows how to treat a woman and his wife will be spoiled.

Take this time to grow in your womanliness and deepen your understanding of marriage. I think you'd be blessed by Daphne Aviyah's ministry and her courtship series may be edifying. Remain in prayer and trust the Lord through your valley.

Kindly,

~bella

Thank you so much bella for taking the time to write this. You helped me so much with this!! Thank you again. [Hugs]

 

[GodJesusAndChocolate]

Yeah, I guess that is true of me.



I am really sorry this has happened to you, Miss Lion. (@GodJesusAndChocolate ) Considering your seemingly perfectly innocent desire to be loved, I imagine this must be very difficult to endure the constant betrayals and losses that you have acknowledged on here so many times over the three years or so I have known you to be at CF. I do pray that it gets better for you, and the Lord will help you find your peace.

Thank you so much my Friend. [Hugs]

 

[bèlla]

Thank you so much bella for taking the time to write this. You helped me so much with this!! Thank you again. [Hugs]

You are more than welcome and I'm happy to hear it helped you. I think it was the Lord's timing. You'll be okay.

~bella

 

[RileyG]

Thank you my Friend. [Hugs]

God bless you abundantly!

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I think I will stay away from all dating apps/dating sites. Too many perverts.

Weren't you interested in someone at CF for a brief time? This should be enough reason to believe you can make a great connection with a decent man. An entire avenue for finding someone special should not be discounted because of the occasional bad apple.