I was bullied at church. Why should I go back?

[timothyu]

Fellowship is nice for many, but I think it is not the core reason for our being there.

Check your worldly affiliations at the door

 

[soldier of light]

The purpose of a congregation is to love each other as self, not to badger each other, the choir, over theology.

Amen

 

[soldier of light]

Check your worldly affiliations at the door

Amen

 

[soldier of light]

I would like to add here that it is quite possible to have a meaningful worship experience at a church without becoming involved in the more informal interactions that could give rise to unpleasantries. Sometimes it is good not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Fellowship is nice for many, but I think it is not the core reason for our being there.

I need no church. I have Jesus and you good folks. Please don't argue against me. I have problems and church is not the solution. Just build me up here online. Thanks

 

[timothyu]

Prop prop, hammer hammer, mortar mortar.

 

[soldier of light]

Prop prop, hammer hammer, mortar mortar.

Amen.

 

[soldier of light]

In the midst of a lot of sinfulness being promoted and being protected by the rules instead of truth being defended, you appear to me to be doing a remarkable good testimony in Jesus as a light shining and not overcome by the darkness here. Very unexpected as the darkness doesn't get better in the last year/decade but worse overall.

Thank you my friend

 

[Aaron112]

What advice would you offer to someone in my situation?

In this section of the forum we cannot address the errors in what you posted.
Search the Scriptures, read the Bible often, trusting Jesus, not churches or men.

Nothing in the world is what it seems. Jesus is the Truth, and never changing.

It’s never been more apparent that most professing Christians aren’t Christian at all. Scripture tells us this, about the many and the few. Christian conduct towards themselves and others has never been this bad, so I’d keep that in mind too, because it’s a special kind of disappointment when you see fellow professing Christians acting completely contrary to Scripture.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I need no church. I have Jesus and you good folks. Please don't argue against me. I have problems and church is not the solution. Just build me up here online. Thanks

My comment was in response to the OP who asked for advice. It was not intended for you, nor am I here to argue against you.

 

[soldier of light]

My comment was in response to the OP who asked for advice. It was not intended for you, nor am I here to argue against you.

Thank you. I wasn't accusing you. It's just that I get judged so often that I expect it. My apologies

 

[Hoping2]

Greetings and God's blessings to you all.

I am a 35 year old male from Canada. I would like to share a very personal topic that has caused me a lot of grief over the years. When I was a child, my mother struggled with poverty and lacked support for her physical disability. On my sixth birthday, she started sending me on a bus every Sunday to attend a Methodist church. I don’t think she saw it as religious indoctrination but rather a way for me to be part of something bigger. But it didn’t take long for my hand-me-down clothes and outdated sneakers to make me a target for bullying. The one place I never expected to feel out of place became the hardest place to be. These kids were second- and third-generation members of that church, and they got preferential treatment.

At a certain age, we advanced to what they called “intermediate studies,” and that’s when the bullying escalated. They told me I didn’t have family money because God didn’t have a future for me. I remember the exact day I stopped going to church. That Sunday, the kids lied to the bus driver, telling him I had gone home sick. I hadn’t. My mother had no backup plan. She had to spend $18 on a taxi to come get me. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, but that night, when dinner was served, she didn’t eat. She told me her stomach was sick. Now I know the truth: the taxi fare meant she couldn’t afford her own meal.

After that, I never looked back. I leaned into every piece of scripture that told me it was okay to pray alone, in my room, and that I didn’t need a church to be a Christian. I explored the idea of spirituality versus religion. For the longest time, I never considered stepping back into a church. Then, 15 years later, my late mother - by then in respite care - asked me to attend the small Catholic Mass in the basement. And do you know what I felt? Fear. I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. When it came time for communion, I gave a nervous smile and passed on the offering.

Later, I went through extensive therapy with a doctor who had once been an ordained minister. His advice stuck with me:

"Where would we be if fear stopped us from doing things? We don’t jump out of planes because it feels good. We do it for the thrill of making our fears feel tiny, even if only for a few fleeting minutes."

So, here I am. A grown adult absolutely terrified of churches. I believe in talking to people who have passed, in hopes that they are nearby. Intercessory prayer is important to me. I also believe in baptism. I’m a real mix of Christian beliefs.

What advice would you offer to someone in my situation? Do you believe in the importance of being in a church community, or do you see personal, individual faith as just as valid? Thank you for your time.

Personal faith, grows in a Godly community.
Ask God to show you a church He approves of, and He will answer your prayer.

 

[soldier of light]

Personal faith, grows in a Godly community.

My faith grew alone. Don't be so closed minded.

 

[Hoping2]

My faith grew alone. Don't be so closed minded.

The word of God exhorts us to fellowship together.
It is written..."Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Heb 10:25)

 

[soldier of light]

The word of God exhorts us to fellowship together.
It is written..."Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Heb 10:25)

I have social anxiety. I went to people online for fellowship but that never ended well. I was forced to go alone but the good shepherd didn't forsake me. I'm happy to say that Jesus delivered me from my bondage to lust and he gave me peace and joy. That joy kinda burns out because of the divisions here but it's ok. I'll survive. No offense but I'm not a babe in Christ. I studied Paul's letters and Jesus words and the other apostles in scripture. And my body is a temple. I dont use it for any sin. What need of a teacher do I have when I have God's holy spirit? Who teaches the teacher?

 

[soldier of light]

I'm bowing out my friends. Have a wonderful night.

 

[Hoping2]

I have social anxiety. I went to people online for fellowship but that never ended well. I was forced to go alone but the good shepherd didn't forsake me. I'm happy to say that Jesus delivered me from my bondage to lust and he gave me peace and joy. That joy kinda burns out because of the divisions here but it's ok. I'll survive. No offense but I'm not a babe in Christ. I studied Paul's letters and Jesus words and the other apostles in scripture. And my body is a temple. I dont use it for any sin. What need of a teacher do I have when I have God's holy spirit? Who teaches the teacher?

I didn't see any references to teaching in the Heb 10:25 verse I cited.
It is amazing though, what you can learn about God and the church when you see the work of God being illustrated/manifested by faithful men and women.
Perhaps, you have something to teach them ?

I kinda wonder, as God has delivered you from bondage to lust, why not ask Him for deliverance from social anxiety too ?

 

[soldier of light]

I didn't see any references to teaching in the Heb 10:25 verse I cited.
It is amazing though, what you can learn about God and the church when you see the work of God being illustrated/manifested by faithful men and women.
Perhaps, you have something to teach them ?

I kinda wonder, as God has delivered you from bondage to lust, why not ask Him for deliverance from social anxiety too ?

Social anxiety for me isn't only an illness. It's also a way to not get hurt by people. You wouldn't understand nor do I expect you to.

 

[Sabertooth]

@Shawk, have you been Born Again?

If you have, Paul wrote that the Church (when functioning properly) was necessary for the development of individual believers, in Ephesians 4:11-13. Satan seeks to discourage us from being so fed & so trained.

After I got Born Again (on vacation), it took me a while to find a church that exhibited the type of Grace that I experienced in my "Birth" church.

In Canada, I would recommend these churches,...

• Vineyard,
• Canadian Assemblies of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)