Natural Family vs. Spiritual Family

[AsherMBS]

I guess this post might fit here since it's about family and support.

I have a very large natural family; however, my dad is a practicing occultist who is also a sadistic narcissist and must control everything. He ruined my and my three siblings' lives from birth till now with his ability to manipulate people and situations to fall in line with what he wanted. He broke up my two brothers' marriages as well as my sister's marriage and prevented me from getting married (long story but true). His siblings caught him trying to break up one of his younger brothers' marriage, so it's a real OCD for him to steal, kill, and destroy; he really must do it and cannot help himself.

Because of my dad, I have been homeless for a number of years now. Some relatives tried to help, but my dad got them to back off by telling them he was helping me when he never was. After a while, all my relatives turned their backs on me and my siblings who really needed their help, because my dad (from that side of the family) made things so hard and complex and confusing and burdensome for them that they decided it was best to just steer clear of anyone from our side of the family. In 2010, as two ministers were dropping me off at a homeless shelter, I was thinking, "I knew it. God's will for me is to live in homeless shelters." But He spoke to me right then and said that it isn't His will, giving me Ps. 68:6 behind it: "God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity."

My mom died in February 2015 while I was still homeless in another state, and till now I've been too busy trying to survive myself to mourn her passing and never got to visit her grave. My dad also separated me from my three siblings (he isolated all of us from each other), so those are other relationships that I lost. I'm praying for a spiritual family and seeking fellowship with honest believers; but meanwhile I guess I'm stuck in this place of grief and definitely loss. Lots and lots of loss.

 

[Ahermit]

Are you familiar with Kubler Ross's model of grief and loss. If not, have a read of it.
You will notice the last stage is about getting to a point of acceptance. That is your goal. once you can accept it, it no longer stops you from moving forward.

I can identify with you. I am the only child of an abusive alcoholic father. For 12 years I hid in my room in silence to escape attention. After I left home I became a homeless alcoholic. Over the next twenty years I lost all family members. I am the only apple left on the family tree. At the age of 34 I finally accepted AA and God of my understanding. Got sober, worked as a laborer and re-educated myself (from school books in library) for a year, so I could pass the university entrance exams. After three years full-time I got a degree in counselling. Worked as a counsellor in both D&A and Palliative Care for 25 years. Now at 63 I have retired, and live as a happy contented hermit in solitude (homeless with a home).

I am telling you this because I believe it's time for you to get up, take a risk in trusting in Christ (faith) that you are okay regardless of your history, your present situation, and whatever the future presents to you. Get any job to access money (energy) to purchase other forms of energy, such as food, shelter, clothing, re-education, better jobs. In this was you can be of service to yourself and the world. The world needs servants of Christ to set an example of truth-filled living. True Christians, through faith, become fearless. They are no longer of this world of fearful egos.

Time to accept and move on.

God bless you brother.

 

[AsherMBS]

Are you familiar with Kubler Ross's model of grief and loss. If not, have a read of it.
You will notice the last stage is about getting to a point of acceptance. That is your goal. once you can accept it, it no longer stops you from moving forward.

I can identify with you. I am the only child of an abusive alcoholic father. For 12 years I hid in my room in silence to escape attention. After I left home I became a homeless alcoholic. Over the next twenty years I lost all family members. I am the only apple left on the family tree. At the age of 34 I finally accepted AA and God of my understanding. Got sober, worked as a laborer and re-educated myself (from school books in library) for a year, so I could pass the university entrance exams. After three years full-time I got a degree in counselling. Worked as a counsellor in both D&A and Palliative Care for 25 years. Now at 63 I have retired, and live as a happy contented hermit in solitude (homeless with a home).

I am telling you this because I believe it's time for you to get up, take a risk in trusting in Christ (faith) that you are okay regardless of your history, your present situation, and whatever the future presents to you. Get any job to access money (energy) to purchase other forms of energy, such as food, shelter, clothing, re-education, better jobs. In this was you can be of service to yourself and the world. The world needs servants of Christ to set an example of truth-filled living. True Christians, through faith, become fearless. They are no longer of this world of fearful egos.

Time to accept and move on.

God bless you brother.

Ahermit, I'm not wallowing in self-pity or any of that. I recognize my need for a spiritual family which I don't yet have. It is what I am praying and looking for.

 

[Ahermit]

Ahermit, I'm not wallowing in self-pity or any of that. I recognize my need for a spiritual family which I don't yet have. It is what I am praying and looking for.

I am not wanting anything from you. I've been homeless. In my not wanting anything from you I am being unconditional.

I welcomed you as a brother, listened to what you said to me, and responded as a brother in Christ, with in-Spir-ation, self-disclosure (self-honesty), and the Truth.

My understanding is that a spiritual family (unconditional) is the opposite of a worldly family (conditional). In the bible, it says to love your enemy. A reason for this is because they have nothing to gain from appeasing you, so you are more likely to hear your truth (what you don't want to hear - hence an enemy). Spiritual family would not deceive you like your friends (of your old nature without Christ) who only tell you what would please you, and not the cold truth. Tough-love is unconditional. It is tough on your fearful ego, because it deflates it. It takes humility (ego-deflation) to be fearless and unconditional. We have to be unconditional to see the Truth, or our conditional fearful state gets in the way of seeing it.

May God bless you brother.

 

[AsherMBS]

I am not wanting anything from you. I've been homeless. In my not wanting anything from you I am being unconditional.

I welcomed you as a brother, listened to what you said to me, and responded as a brother in Christ, with in-Spir-ation, self-disclosure (self-honesty), and the Truth.

My understanding is that a spiritual family (unconditional) is the opposite of a worldly family (conditional). In the bible, it says to love your enemy. A reason for this is because they have nothing to gain from appeasing you, so you are more likely to hear your truth (what you don't want to hear - hence an enemy). Spiritual family would not deceive you like your friends (of your old nature without Christ) who only tell you what would please you, and not the cold truth. Tough-love is unconditional. It is tough on your fearful ego, because it deflates it. It takes humility (ego-deflation) to be fearless and unconditional. We have to be unconditional to see the Truth, or our conditional fearful state gets in the way of seeing it.

May God bless you brother.

I'm confused. You told me to do what I already did and have been doing. You don't have knowledge of the situation and the reason I'm even homeless or have been so for this long (it isn't drugs, gambling, a divorce, mental issues, prison/jail, or all the other common reasons people find themselves homeless). I believe that when God tells us something (and the Bible backs it), we should cleave to that and not divert either way but follow that path. God hasn't told me what others tend to focus on-- things that I know: "You need a job; you need to do this; you need to do that." He focuses on foundational things with all of us though most of us don't hear Him because we are focused on secondary and tertiary things, not primary things, therefore we tend to hear only on the 'frequency' of those secondary and tertiary things that He does speak to us about. I tune in to hear all He is saying, and He is definitely a God of foundations or first things:

"Love the Lord your God... and the second is like it... And God has set these in the Church: first apostles..."

His focus for me has always been fellowship or a Body of believers who are following Jesus in deed and not just hearing or in word: "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue but in deed and in truth" (1Jn. 3:18). He knows I know all these others things, "but seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all other things will be added to you" (Mt. 6:33). If He tells me to seek something first, then I will seek it first. I found this forum yesterday because I was giving up when God began to encourage me to "keep seeking" fellowship. This has always been His primary thing and makes sense for anyone who takes a step back from religious thinking ("YOU can do all things through Christ"), a step back from worldly thinking ("You just need a job; pull yourself up by the bootstraps"), and from their own preferences ("Well, I sure don't want to believe any of that, so I will come up with something else"), and looks at the situation with unbiased eyes. It isn't rocket science; we've just forgotten the first things and tend to live on and by secondary and tertiary things. Because God rarely speaks to us about these things, we continue in this error till we die and never see God's foundational precepts: Love God, love one another, love your fellowman. I have to stick with the what the Word and the Lord say which are one and make sense even to an unbeliever they are simply and plain and reasonable.

 

[Ahermit]

So why mention all that story about being homeless and your family does not support you if it has no bearing on you seeking fellowship here on this forum.

 

[AsherMBS]

So why mention all that story about being homeless and your family does not support you if it has no bearing on you seeking fellowship here on this forum.

That could possibly be classed as 'a good question'. Possibly. One of the moderators or administrators of the site told me to post here (I think her name is U2Spicy or something like that). That's the only reason I posted here.

 

[AsherMBS]

So why mention all that story about being homeless and your family does not support you if it has no bearing on you seeking fellowship here on this forum.

And be sure that God wants us to be in a Body of believers in person. Online 'fellowship' is often needed today and often helps people who don't have any fellowship in person; but it is far from God's original intention. It's important to interpret the Bible first objectively which would include in-person fellowship being the rule (and not online or long distance fellowship which is the exception). So, God didn't tell me to come to this forum to seek fellowship (because God knows the definition of fellowship); He told me that I need to not give up but to continue to seek fellowship, therefore I came to this forum to ask if anyone knows people I can connect to in-person. Like God and His Word have integrity, I also try to have integrity.

 

[Ahermit]

... therefore I came to this forum to ask if anyone knows people I can connect to in-person. Like God and His Word have integrity, I also try to have integrity.

Thanks for sharing that, wish I understood that from your first post.

 

[ChicanaRose]

I'm praying for a spiritual family and seeking fellowship with honest believers; but meanwhile I guess I'm stuck in this place of grief and definitely loss. Lots and lots of loss.

I will pray that you will find a good spiritual family, people who are safe and have your best interest in mind.