I wonder if I should have become Catholic if I knew it would feel impossible to practice it

[Lady Bug]

Hi, it's me again. There have been times when I ask myself if I should have become Catholic if I knew that fulfilling my baptismal promises would be too difficult. It's difficult mainly because of my dad, but that's bad enough. To make matters worse, I'm worried that since the weather is becoming warmer, I'm not wanting to wear pants to church. On top of that, I feel that the only time I have a self-esteem is when I wear a dress. I tend not to wear a dress if it doesn't reach at least halfway in-between my knee and ankle, but I know my dad won't like it anyway. My brother is not helping the situation and is trying to placate my dad by telling him that even though I go to church, it doesn't mean I agree with everything in the church. It turns out that he said that to my dad without my knowledge or permission and I don't appreciate it. My brother is also suggesting to me not to wear any dresses in front of my dad if it bothers him and to change the clothes at church and I'm like, that's a burden just to bring a separate set of clothes to change in a public restroom. He's like "Well you don't go to church that often, do you?" As if there's a certain point to where it becomes "I'm at church too often."

(I'm not trying to make it look like the dress is the central point of this thread, but it's a part of it)

 

[chevyontheriver]

Hi, it's me again. There have been times when I ask myself if I should have become Catholic if I knew that fulfilling my baptismal promises would be too difficult. It's difficult mainly because of my dad, but that's bad enough. To make matters worse, I'm worried that since the weather is becoming warmer, I'm not wanting to wear pants to church. On top of that, I feel that the only time I have a self-esteem is when I wear a dress. I tend not to wear a dress if it doesn't reach at least halfway in-between my knee and ankle, but I know my dad won't like it anyway. My brother is not helping the situation and is trying to placate my dad by telling him that even though I go to church, it doesn't mean I agree with everything in the church. It turns out that he said that to my dad without my knowledge or permission and I don't appreciate it. My brother is also suggesting to me not to wear any dresses in front of my dad if it bothers him and to change the clothes at church and I'm like, that's a burden just to bring a separate set of clothes to change in a public restroom. He's like "Well you don't go to church that often, do you?" As if there's a certain point to where it becomes "I'm at church too often."

(I'm not trying to make it look like the dress is the central point of this thread, but it's a part of it)

Is it that the dress is too short for your father? What would he prefer you to wear? Dess is so cultural, even among Muslims. When I was in The Gambia the Muslim women could go topless working in the fields but NEVER NEVER EVER show a bit of thigh. It's all so strange. Modesty has many different faces.

You were right to follow truth and become Catholic, even if it's hard. Hang in there. Your struggles are meritorious. They may be meritorious for your father or maybe your brother, They are certainly of value for you even if you feel the pain of it now.

 

[Lady Bug]

Is it that the dress is too short for your father? What would he prefer you to wear? Dess is so cultural, even among Muslims. When I was in The Gambia the Muslim women could go topless working in the fields but NEVER NEVER EVER show a bit of thigh. It's all so strange. Modesty has many different faces.

You were right to follow truth and become Catholic, even if it's hard. Hang in there. Your struggles are meritorious. They may be meritorious for your father or maybe your brother, They are certainly of value for you even if you feel the pain of it now.

He would prefer me to wear pants. He doesn't practice Islam hardly at all, and to be honest, the way he talks about Muhammad, doesn't even believe him to be a legitimate prophet. He's just worried about offending Pakistanis, who we don't even mingle with for the most part. I don't wear dresses in front of them.

FWIW I dress more modestly (when in dresses) than my grandmother did when she wore dresses. The duster I wear at home doesn't even cover my knee and he doesn't care. I think it's all about people-pleasing.

 

[Lady Bug]

On a side note, it's a lot better to wear a dress when I go to a public bathroom that might have a dirty floor.

 

[chevyontheriver]

He would prefer me to wear pants.

Are pants for women somehow more Islamic? I don't get it.

He doesn't practice Islam hardly at all, and to be honest, the way he talks about Muhammad, doesn't even believe him to be a legitimate prophet. He's just worried about offending Pakistanis, who we don't even mingle with for the most part.

So you see hypocrisy from your father and it drives you buggy. Sorry. Lady Bug, buggy. My bad.

I sense that he's afraid that it will get out that he hasn't managed his children properly if it's found out that one of his children have become a Christian of all things. So he's trying to hide something.

FWIW I dress more modestly (when in dresses) than my grandmother did when she wore dresses. The duster I wear at home doesn't even cover my knee and he doesn't care. I think it's all about people-pleasing.

What would happen if these Pakistanis discovered that his daughter was a Christian?

 

[AlexB23]

Is it that the dress is too short for your father? What would he prefer you to wear? Dess is so cultural, even among Muslims. When I was in The Gambia the Muslim women could go topless working in the fields but NEVER NEVER EVER show a bit of thigh. It's all so strange. Modesty has many different faces.

You were right to follow truth and become Catholic, even if it's hard. Hang in there. Your struggles are meritorious. They may be meritorious for your father or maybe your brother, They are certainly of value for you even if you feel the pain of it now.

And another thing to add. Christians will sadly be persecuted by others (such as by strict Muslims or others), as it says in 2 Timothy 3:12 (NIV) "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted".

 

[Lady Bug]

Are pants for women somehow more Islamic? I don't get it.

Actually they're not. At Islamic funerals, women aren't actually supposed to wear pants.

So you see hypocrisy from your father and it drives you buggy. Sorry. Lady Bug, buggy. My bad.

That's Ok.

I sense that he's afraid that it will get out that he hasn't managed his children properly if it's found out that one of his children have become a Christian of all things. So he's trying to hide something.

Yeah that must be it. However (pardon my yelling, please - it's not at you) but d@mmit I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE WEST. I DON'T GIVE A SHEET!

What would happen if these Pakistanis discovered that his daughter was a Christian?

I don't have an exact answer but I shudder to think about it
(I have to yell again, sorry - not at you - BUT D@MMIT I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE WEST AND ONE OF MY PARENTS WAS BORN A ROMAN CATHOLIC!!!)

 

[AlexB23]

Actually they're not. At Islamic funerals, women aren't actually supposed to wear pants.

That's Ok.

Yeah that must be it. However (pardon my yelling, please - it's not at you) but d@mmit I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE WEST. I DON'T GIVE A SHEET!

I don't have an exact answer but I shudder to think about it
(I have to yell again, sorry - not at you - BUT D@MMIT I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE WEST AND ONE OF MY PARENTS WAS BORN A ROMAN CATHOLIC!!!)

I know you were replying to @chevyontheriver , but it might be time for you to disown your father and leave his house, as he is preventing you from reaching your true potential as a Christian.

 

[Lady Bug]

I know you were replying to @chevyontheriver , but it might be time for you to disown your father and leave his house, as he is preventing you from reaching your true potential as a Christian.

I would but he can't really survive without me. I'm worried I'll go down the path of my mom. She had a terrible, terrible self-esteem when married to my dad and she seemed to lose her mind over it at times. I don't know if my dad's dress code had anything to do with it, but I'm getting suspicious now.

 

[AlexB23]

I would but he can't really survive without me. I'm worried I'll go down the path of my mom. She had a terrible, terrible self-esteem when married to my dad and she seemed to lose her mind over it at times. I don't know if my dad's dress code had anything to do with it, but I'm getting suspicious now.

Well, this is a dilemma. Are you in the EU or the US? In the EU, visiting doctors could help your dad, for low costs. I am in the US, but know a small amount about the EU. You will not lose your mind if you leave him. Protect yourself. You have done plenty enough to help him, though you might want to discuss with a priest for the best course of action.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I would but he can't really survive without me. I'm worried I'll go down the path of my mom. She had a terrible, terrible self-esteem when married to my dad and she seemed to lose her mind over it at times. I don't know if my dad's dress code had anything to do with it, but I'm getting suspicious now.

Would he change his tune if you took off for a week and told him you would not come back without some promises of good behavior on his part?

 

[WarriorAngel]

He would prefer me to wear pants. He doesn't practice Islam hardly at all, and to be honest, the way he talks about Muhammad, doesn't even believe him to be a legitimate prophet. He's just worried about offending Pakistanis, who we don't even mingle with for the most part. I don't wear dresses in front of them.

FWIW I dress more modestly (when in dresses) than my grandmother did when she wore dresses. The duster I wear at home doesn't even cover my knee and he doesn't care. I think it's all about people-pleasing.

Keep reminding him he is in America and stop worrying.

He maybe reverting back to his fears... which came from Muslim family. In which case, placate him. Assure him. Pray for him.