I am a new member here. I found this site by accident. Glad to find a place where I can share my pain. My husband left me 4 years ago. It is such a long story, I don't know where to begin. I have suffered from chemical imbalanced Depression all of my life. All that I can say for now is that I am in so much pain at times, I wish I could die. I know that is not the Lord's will for me so I hold on to Him as I go through each day. My hubby and I are still married although I have not seen him since the day he left. I can't bring myself to divorce him as it would mean I would have to see him. I can't do that. 4 years may seem like a long time but to me it as though it was last week. Since June of 2003 I have not been able to leave the house much. I rarely get dressed. I have an 8 year old Grandson that I have been raising since he was 6 weeks old. He is the the only thing that keeps me going. He thought of my husband as his dad and he suffers also. When my boy is not in school, I put on the mask that says all is well. My whole family is dysfunctional and distant. I am 46 now and after a life of abandonment and rejection from all, I don't have much hope in the future. The only hope I have is that soon the Lord may come and take me out of here! I am in a bad state of depression at this present time as you can probably tell. I am very much struggling and seeking the Lord's help. Any prayers you can offer on my behalf would be appreciated.
For by grace are we saved through faith and not of ourselves it is a gift of God. Hold on to God's gift and you will never walk alone. 
