Is (my) depression Godly?

[hopeforhappiness]

Paul talks about a godly conviction that leads to reconciliation with God. I am sure that there is an element of this in my current state, as I consider a lifetime of missed opportunities and taking the line of least resistance. But I think it's more than this and I am trying to work it through.
I am on the cusp of retirement and in fact am working 2 days a week. A big reorganisation is taking place and it is a good time for the company and me to part ways.
In addition, we moved house 3 years ago and it involved A LOT of work and money spending. This has tired me physically and mentally.
We decided to attend a local church with older worshippers. This quiet church is faced with same-sex marriage decision and are bewildered by Equality, Diversity and Inclusion requirements. Instead of church children and students, I am now working and supporting old people, in their loneliness and frailty.
Our street itself has many elderly single owner-occupiers who are themselves slipping out of life or into care homes.
Then COVID came and we observed death and dementia among some of our friends from our previous church.
Politically, I am accepting that my country is becoming less and less my home, as the culture becomes more antagonistic to Christianity and more globalist. My own hobbies and pastimes now seem transitory and purposeless.
I look at films from the 20th century and they all seem to depict a despised world. I feel our government and opinion-formers actually hate us and the our traditional attitudes.
And yet, God is clearly asking me things in all this. Where is my heart? What really matters? Only Jesus is a safe harbour and a source of peace. But if I receive that peace, then I am just ignoring irresponsibly the turmoil in the world.
What is the experience of others in our Brave New World?

 

[Unqualified]

About the same. Life is crazy. We need the Lords peace to cope and keep watching and praying. There’s not much we can do about it, just remain faithful to the Lord and endure till he comes.

Ive been in my church for 22 years. It’s a source of stability and comfort. I look forward to eternal life and have hope of heaven. But your assessment of the world is right and it sounds like you are doing what you can as are we. It’s sad. We look forward to heaven, keep our eyes on Israel and pray for people’s faith. Some are getting bitter in this time of sorrows. More apostasy , more death, more disasters. We need our faith to see what God is doing - perspective. We tell people about Jesus too. Stay near Him.

 

[hopeforhappiness]

About the same. Life is crazy. We need the Lords peace to cope and keep watching and praying. There’s not much we can do about it, just remain faithful to the Lord and endure till he comes.

Ive been in my church for 22 years. It’s a source of stability and comfort. I look forward to eternal life and have hope of heaven. But your assessment of the world is right and it sounds like you are doing what you can as are we. It’s sad. We look forward to heaven, keep our eyes on Israel and pray for people’s faith. Some are getting bitter in this time of sorrows. More apostasy , more death, more disasters. We need our faith to see what God is doing - perspective. We tell people about Jesus too. Stay near Him.

The way I feel is very strange. I feel that this world is becoming greyer and distant, and the suffering are in that sad soup and I still need to reach out to them. I feel the door into eternity has opened much wider and I am looking through it to a clean, restful, joyful place where I truly have always belonged. I have discomforting dreams as well. Frequently I am in a decaying city or house, with rotting walls and floors and usually I need to get somewhere, often to catch a plane. But I don't know where I am, nor how to ask for help or what bus to get. I know that I only have an hour before the flight leaves. And where's my suitcase....., passport....tickets....
THEN, somebody comes to me and says that he knows the way to the airport, that he can bypass ticket inspection and even get me on the plane, because he knows the pilot and crew. And as I follow him, I wake up, with a feeling of well-being. My wife has an entirely naturalistic interpretation of this.

 

[Unqualified]

We seem to think it’s Jesus. The HS is telling you He will be there for you when the time comes.