Is it strange to be over the hill and still be single?

ThisIsMe123

This And That
Mar 13, 2017
2,835
1,167
.
✟189,980.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I know it can work but I have also heard stories. My sister had a friend who fell in love with a woman in Russia with a young boy. He traveled to Russia and met her in person. I think maybe two times. They talked quite a bit. Finally, they agreed that she and her son would come to America to be with him. He bought their tickets but right before their trip here she called to say her son was very sick. He needed to be hospitalized but she did not have insurance or the money needed. He ended up sending her money for his care. After a few weeks, he was and they replanned the trip. He was waiting for them at the airport but they never showed. He never heard from her again or could reach her. In total, he had given her $50,000. Was he foolish to give so much money? I would say yes but he loved her and truly thought her son was ill. He could have flown over there to verify but I'm sure she made the need seem urgent. That's the risk in these situations. The person is too far away to easily check on the truthfulness of their stories.

Personally, I would need a gradual increase in time spent together to make that type of decision. Trying to do so over the phone and with a couple of visits would be very difficult. Part of that is me. I am not used to living with someone so gradually spending more and more time together would be needed for me to see how I felt. Many people already know they are ok with that and would not need the same build-up I would need.

It is interesting that they actually met IN person. Usually these scams occur prior to meeting. Sometimes you may not know what they truly look like and are averse to meeting in person.

Usually the money is asked for by some person (catfisher), could even be a man behind the computer screen...but to actually take it to an in-person, face-to-face meeting? Never heard of that.

My friend who is now engaged to this woman, made sure to do a Zoom meeting straight off the bat, and meeting her in person several times assured him that she's legitimate.

His mother posted on Facebook welcoming her to the family and he got TONS of comments congratulating him.

The plus side is, she has no kids.
 
Upvote 0

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I am sure most work without scams. I am happy for your friend. You just have to be careful if you consider such a thing. It's harder to know what's going on. Sounds like your friend did a good job being careful.
 
Upvote 0

ThisIsMe123

This And That
Mar 13, 2017
2,835
1,167
.
✟189,980.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am sure most work without scams. I am happy for your friend. You just have to be careful if you consider such a thing. It's harder to know what's going on. Sounds like your friend did a good job being careful.

Thing is, he spent 5K on a lawyer to make his arrangements to come on over via a Fiance' Visa. I mean he didn't have to , and just a few hundred in that. But I guess he wanted an expert.
 
Upvote 0

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Agree but two Christians together can do twice as much for God then one:)
Not to nitpick, but if two Christians did twice as much (together) as each one individually, then that is not an improvement. Separately you would each be doing half as the two of you did together. What I believe you mean to say is that the two of you together can do even more than the sum of the two of you apart.

It's not 1+1 = 2 but rather 1+ 1 = 3 or something greater than 2.

I know what you meant!
 
Upvote 0

returntosender

EL ROI
Site Supporter
May 30, 2020
9,763
4,398
casa grande
✟367,964.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Not to nitpick, but if two Christians did twice as much (together) as each one individually, then that is not an improvement. Separately you would each be doing half as the two of you did together. What I believe you mean to say is that the two of you together can do even more than the sum of the two of you apart.

It's not 1+1 = 2 but rather 1+ 1 = 3 or something greater than 2.

I know what you meant!
I don't remember saying that?
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
What a waste of good men and women when there's so much need. Get over your hurts and move on:)
To whom did you address this and what is a waste? What need are you referring to?
 
Upvote 0

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
All of you. The need is love for each other and forgiveness.
Romantic love is foreign to me. I don't really have a desire to be married. For me, there is no forgiveness involved. I just grew up without love and with few social connections. Now I am content being single. I cannot give the type of love a woman needs. I am not going to make someone else miserable out of a sense of obligation. We are not all cutout for marriage.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
All of you. The need is love for each other and forgiveness.
I mean no offense. There are some Christians who believe I should remain single since I am divorced. A few have suggested I have the gift of singleness. I don't think we represent a significant percentage of believers so our chosen singleness is not depriving many of love. We still love, just not in the marital way. If I felt called to love in that way, I would.
 
Upvote 0

NotUrAvgGuy

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2015
1,019
417
Boise, Idaho
Visit site
✟71,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I was just giving my opinion.
I know and I didn't mean to sound defensive. Your opinion is welcome . I just don't see anyway things could be different for me.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,206
In God's Amazing Grace
✟903,022.00
Faith
Christian
Why all this talk about dating and marriage? I am thinking that my date (if I had one) would not like the fact I am discussing our relationship on a forum.
It depends on what is being discussed as some things are normal in relationships and not personal and online unless someone knows who you are you could be one of a billion people out there with the same problem and a hundred million others.