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If you can't stop (I know the feeling), choose someone you know can trust to lust after

Gottservant

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Hi there,

Yeah so you might need to pray about this, that God give you someone you know you can trust to objectify "sexually" - someone you would marry, if you had the choice. The point being that you lust after this one person and only one person - even if you are tempted to lust after someone else, you immediately recognise you are being tested and turn your lust, to this person God has helped you choose. (This is good advice for someone who is married, as well: as soon as you find yourself turning to someone else - other than the one you are married to - turn your desire back to your wife).

The point in practicing this, is that you come to know what your desire is like when it is under control - that you teach your lust to become more like desire, as it was perfect in God). I am not suggesting you pervert the expression of your love, by forcing yourself on your wife, when she is not willing (because you think you are "willing"), but that you use the power of your imagination to fulfil the desire with what would be "fantasy" if you did not have a wife you could trust, to be objectified while you struggle to get your desire under wraps.

Better to waste lust on someone in particular, than not know what your desire will be next (selah)

That's the message I am trying to get across here. I have struggled with desire (I was raped) and it never got better until I learned not to objectify anyone but the one that God said I should trust and objectify in my heart, that I learn not to lust without caring about how that person would receive my seed - your partner is supposed to care what you intend with your seed, that is what you should be praying to God for.

So have courage! God can use life's lessons to save you, even from something that never dies (in principle). Praise God!

There is a proper way to touch too, but be warned you might need this advice after all, if you abuse it (the proper way)
 

sportsman

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Yeah so you might need to pray about this, that God give you someone you know you can trust to objectify "sexually" - someone you would marry, if you had the choice.

I am not sure if I understand the text, but sexual objectification is sinful, isn´t it?
 
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Gottservant

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I am not sure if I understand the text, but sexual objectification is sinful, isn´t it?

Yes, but it leads to less death, to sin with someone consistently "in mind".

Choosing different objects over and over again, is greater pleasure, but wearies the soul.

The object of physical union with someone, is that your soul merges with theirs.
 
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frank1234

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Any kind of sexual objectifying is sin. If you are single and you are sexually objectifying people in your mind(even if it is one person), it's a sin. If you are married and you are doing the same thing other than your mate you are still committing a sin in your mind. The best is find out why you are objectifying other than your mate to begin with and work on your relationship.
I hope this helps.
 
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.Mikha'el.

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Any kind of sexual objectifying is sin. If you are single and you are sexually objectifying people in your mind(even if it is one person), it's a sin. If you are married and you are doing the same thing other than your mate you are still committing a sin in your mind. The best is find out why you are objectifying other than your mate to begin with and work on your relationship.
I hope this helps.

Putting it as respectfully as I can, I have no idea why the OP ever thought this was a good idea. Not only do I agree with you, but if the object is a person of trust, implied in that is the person being someone of great respect who doesn't carry physical or sexual attraction. Trying to "lust" over someone who's not attractive is never going to work.
 
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Gottservant

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Any kind of sexual objectifying is sin. If you are single and you are sexually objectifying people in your mind(even if it is one person), it's a sin. If you are married and you are doing the same thing other than your mate you are still committing a sin in your mind. The best is find out why you are objectifying other than your mate to begin with and work on your relationship.
I hope this helps.

Sexual objectifying is sin, but whoever sins is a "slave to sin".

Therefore, if you are slave, it is better that you choose an easier Master, that your sinning be less and less to death.

It's like driving on the safe side of the road, if you are lusting you are still on the broad path, but there is a greater chance you will get to the narrow (path).
 
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frank1234

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Also part of your justification is that since you are slave to sin therefore you might as well be slave to lesser death. The bible says that we are no longer slaves to sin(we are not controlled by sinful nature). This has to be your motivation and motto to go forward, not giving up to sin.
 
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Gottservant

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Also part of your justification is that since you are slave to sin therefore you might as well be slave to lesser death. The bible says that we are no longer slaves to sin(we are not controlled by sinful nature). This has to be your motivation and motto to go forward, not giving up to sin.

I am just being merciful.

Sometimes it is hard to understand what the Devil is getting at; it's not enough to say "no, just say no!".

What needs to change is "behaviour" and there is only one way to deal with that, on that we agree.
 
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