I have Schizophrenia since 1992

[Kenzin]

I do not just suffer from Schizophrenia but from Scrupulosity as well an OCD disorder. I wish I had some relief from either disease. I used to be a Buddhist a while ago and now I hear the voice of my former buddhist teacher for the last 20 years.. The voice is relentless constantly judging me and telling me how I should live. On top of that I have uncontrollable thoughts that curse God and the Holy Spirit. This is not a voluntary thing it's an uncontrollable thought. I have been assured that God understands that I have a disorder and I have not done the Unforgivable sin. They both cause quite a bit of suffering.. Can I ever find any release from this suffering?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

with scripture and prayer cultivate counter uncontrollable thoughts that eat the bad ones.

 

[Unqualified]

The only thing that worked for me is taking thoughts captive as in 2 Corinthians 10 verses 3 to five and prayer that this might work for you. Also God can have other tricks to control your mind. It’s a fight but it yields space to live and room to have peace and rest. If it sounds too good your God is too small. Get with Him serve the poor and He will be with you. Risk it. Start with prayer.

 

[Sparagmos]

I do not just suffer from Schizophrenia but from Scrupulosity as well an OCD disorder. I wish I had some relief from either disease. I used to be a Buddhist a while ago and now I hear the voice of my former buddhist teacher for the last 20 years.. The voice is relentless constantly judging me and telling me how I should live. On top of that I have uncontrollable thoughts that curse God and the Holy Spirit. This is not a voluntary thing it's an uncontrollable thought. I have been assured that God understands that I have a disorder and I have not done the Unforgivable sin. They both cause quite a bit of suffering.. Can I ever find any release from this suffering?

Are you being treated by a doctor?

 

[NBB]

Hi!, i believe God can help you, (because he really can), have you thought on trying a church that believes in deliverance/seeking the power of God/being filled with the Holy spirit, i have no idea which ones may be good in you area of course but pray to God and go to one if you can. I think there is hope brother, i also suffered some what doctors call 'mental disease' a lot of times are spiritual issues.

 

[Kenzin]

Are you being treated by a doctor?

Yes I am being treated by a Doctor. I'm on a bunch of meds.

 

[Kenzin]

Well I spoke to my Church officials and they said that they do not do Deliverances. I'm looking around my area to see if any other church will do a Deliverance.

 

[NBB]

Well I spoke to my Church officials and they said that they do not do Deliverances. I'm looking around my area to see if any other church will do a Deliverance.

If they are in the correct place, it can be very effective, it could take time, sometimes its lots of years with the same stuff, and God heals us slowly sometimes, just a church that seeks the power of God and Holy spirit, just going to a meeting when the presence of God is there has effect, the presence of God lifts us, take us out of the pit, comfort us, and lots of other good things, the bible say that where the Spirit of God is there is freedom.



Wish you the best of lucks.

 

[Unqualified]

Well I spoke to my Church officials and they said that they do not do Deliverances. I'm looking around my area to see if any other church will do a Deliverance.

I tried deliverance for the same reasons as you. I don’t know how effective it was. Sure no miraculous thing for me. But each time I started on an upsurge. Someone even saw something leave once but I was convinced that a devil can’t live in a Christian. I appreciated the attention and knowing if there was anything it was gone.

But then after starting back to church in 2001 my pastor equipped me with tools to fight all of it. The thoughts barrage, the lack of focus and direction. Taking thoughts captive, studying bible, and sniffing believe it or not keeps unwanted doors closed.


I know your in a different place than I am now. But you could try it for your own peace of mind. You can find space from the trial, and have a pretty good life.

Look for a vineyard church.

 

[Kenzin]

I dont know why but I get a lot of anxiety when I read the Bible. I do still try to read it but It's a bit rough on my psyche. I'm just trying to find relief from my suffering. I dont want to suffer anymore.

 

[angelsaroundme]

A lot of people compare OCD to a bully in your head. The more you react to the bully, the more you empower them, while ignoring them takes the power away. Unfortunately, this bully won't leave entirely (in most cases) but you should have some relief by paying them less attention.

 

[Kenzin]

A lot of people compare OCD to a bully in your head. The more you react to the bully, the more you empower them, while ignoring them takes the power away. Unfortunately, this bully won't leave entirely (in most cases) but you should have some relief by paying them less attention.

Thank you.. I want to put your suggestion in practice along with filling my head with scriptural truth.

 

[Kenzin]

I just feel so lost.. I rarely feel the love of God.. I have voices calling me an Apostate.. Voices of my former Buddhist teacher condemning me all day long, and scrupulosity which is my mind uncontrollably curses God. Every now and then I do feel the love of God but I'm slammed with negativity more than the Love.

 

[siralex172]

Your former buddhist teachings have some degree of truth. You should incorporate both buddhism and Christianity together. I love mindfulness and talk to a psychologist about why you feel ashamed about buddhism and how you can heal.

 

[angelsaroundme]

It does sound like part of your OCD is rooted in your Buddhist past. Perhaps reflecting on the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity will have you feeling less conflict between your earlier life views and current beliefs. Christianity of course came later, and some argue that pre-Christian religions have elements of truth or virtuous teaching to prepare people for Christianity.

 

[Kenzin]

It does sound like part of your OCD is rooted in your Buddhist past. Perhaps reflecting on the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity will have you feeling less conflict between your earlier life views and current beliefs. Christianity of course came later, and some argue that pre-Christian religions have elements of truth or virtuous teaching to prepare people for Christianity.

I developed the Scrupulosity in 1994.. I got into Buddhism in 1998. I left Buddhism back to Christianity in 2016.. Just to help put things in perspective I am 48 years old.. I developed Schizophrenia when I was 19 in 1992.