The last 2 days I have been somewhat needy. Meaning that I have texted my wife while I was at work more than usual, and when she doesnt repsond right away i have felt very hurt. Normally she responds immediately, and has consoling words for me. She is under some stress because she is finishing school tomorrow, but normally she stays very calm. Today her response was something that hurt me quite a bit, this was the one reply that hurt me
"I was not meant to fill your brokeness, help yes, but not fill. That is God's place. I have done nothing but reassure you. You need to find out what triggers this and maybe get on some kind of anxiety meds."
Keep in mind I only have days where i really really miss her a lot like once a month. Not enough to warrent any meds. I dont ever accuse her of cheating, or anything like that. Its just that we both agree that our marriage comes first, and when she doesnt respond right away its because she is doing something else. She ALWAYS has her phone on her. So obviously i am making a big mistake here and it is making her really irritated. What do I do to overcome this? I feel like she doesnt want me to lean on her when I am down and that really hurts me. I know she is right, but I dont know what to do.
Dear Bachert,
God wants you to know how much power is available to you without having to pick up that phone for support. There is nothing wrong with calling someone and reaching out for support, but God wants me to give you these words of encouragement - He says to tell you that you are not who you think you are, and He wants to show you who you can be if you will trust him and his Word.
"Blessed are you who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. 2 But your delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law you meditates day and night. 3 You are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever you do prospers. (
Psalm 1:1-6)
Bachert, it seems you are at times perhaps a bit desperate - for your wife's encouraging words -- for God's acceptance. You desire to be blessed of the Lord.
Faith is the foundation of Christian character and the security of the soul.
Psalm 1 "
Blessed is the man who does ... delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he
meditates day and night".
There is delight for you when you seek to walk in godly paths (
Psalm 1:2)
"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night."
As a Christian you should have delight in the Word of God.
The Christian has learned to make God's Word his delight.
To some it is boring, but you make it exciting.
To some it is dull, but you make it delightful.
To some it is fantasy, but you know it is fact.
To some it is information, but to you it is inspiration.
You must
move against the tide to do this.
Study God's Word; pray; hear the preaching of the Word; have faith in God's Word.
David who wrote this Psalm had great delight in God's Word.
"For I delight in your commands because I love them" (Psalm 119:47).
"Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight" (Psalm 119:77).
(v. 3) "Bachert, you are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever you do prospers."
What a beautiful illustration!
The tree reaching down its roots into the stream drawing life from the water,
and the river represents the Holy Spirit.
Bachert, your leaf (meaning your testimony) shall not wither. In whatsoever you do, you will prosper.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Rom. 8:28).
Conclusion
You Bachert, who are covered by the blood of Christ, to you there is blessing from God.
You will stand in the day of judgment. You will bear fruit.
You possess blessings from the Holy Spirit.
Try to not lean so much on your wife so often for encouragement. Yes, seek her encouragement, but know that God is right there. He is in the room with you. He sees you. He knows it all - everything you feel and fear.
Read James.
Read Proverbs.
Listen to intimate spiritual calming Christian worship.
Let God be your life line and show your wife that you can and will be the husband she needs - protective and strong.
Deuteronomy 3:18
8 The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
2 Samuel 22:1722
17 He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. 18 He delivered me from my strong enemy, From those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. 19 They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my support.
Psalm 27:14
14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 34:18
18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 55:22
22 Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
Philippians 4:67
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Romans 15:13
13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
