Here I go again...

[Moose6149]

I just cut again for the first time in four months. I was doing so well and then my life came crashing down around me and I couldn't cope. I just want to do it all the time now that I've started again and I hate myself for being so week. I wish I knew how to stop myself. It has been going on for 4 years now on and off and I can never fully recover...I always go back to it. I don't know what to do.

 

[TEJL101]

I just cut again for the first time in four months. I was doing so well and then my life came crashing down around me and I couldn't cope. I just want to do it all the time now that I've started again and I hate myself for being so week. I wish I knew how to stop myself. It has been going on for 4 years now on and off and I can never fully recover...I always go back to it. I don't know what to do.

Moose I know you must be hurting inside that you have in but stop, step back and be kind to yourself- for me! You need to say to yourself you did well for four months, you're a fighter and starting tmr you ARE gonna do 5 months as your next goal and then keep going from there. Basically I will say a prayer for ya and I know others are wishing you on so good luck, stay strong you're a fighter and doing well and God loves you. You just need to get back to the real you who's inside! 4 years ago you didn't cut. You can get that you back. Stay strong and all the best

 

[NoddaProbBob]

I just cut again for the first time in four months. I was doing so well and then my life came crashing down around me and I couldn't cope. I just want to do it all the time now that I've started again and I hate myself for being so week. I wish I knew how to stop myself. It has been going on for 4 years now on and off and I can never fully recover...I always go back to it. I don't know what to do.

Hi there! Welcome to CF.
I know exactly how you feel. I've struggled with self injury for about 9 years now and it's tough, but not impossible to overcome.
The first question you have to ask yourself is whether or not you truly want to quit.
From here you'll either choose to make choices that will either enhance or deter what ever your decision is.
I spent a lot of time in this stage myself. I've gone back and forth between yes, I want to quit and no, I see no problem with my self injury.
You have the power to make self injury a thing of the past if that's what you decide. Its hard but it can be conquered. It takes a lot of support though.
Do you have a counselor/therapist that you can talk to?
You will find great support here as well.

 

[Jasminoodle]

I think the main problem here is what you said ... "I hate myself for being so weak". the truth is that you are not weak, but under attack. you have to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself the way that Jesus loves you. the truth is that you have done really really well.
I identify with you, so don't feel alone. I don't cut, but I scratch and bite myself. I stopped for years but just recently things have come back,<Staff Edit> but I urge you to speak to a trusted Christian about this, nobody can go it alone.
also keep trying the classic things like expression through artwork or song and stuff.
you WILL get through this, just hang in there and start learning to love yourself.
you need to build on your self esteem before anything else happens.
God loves you so SO much, you couldnt even imagine. don't ever forget that. now I don't say this for you to feel guilty, but just think about how it hurts God to see his beloved child hurt.
you can do it, ok !!