Girlfriend´s friends drive her away from God

[Mathew95]

Hey everyone, I was hoping I could find some advice here. First to give up some context, I have been a christian basically my whole life I have tried my best to live a life worthy of being called God´s son so perphaps sometimes I could be inflexible with some things.
About 6 months ago I started seeing a girl for the first time in my life. I had never hang out with a girl or had a girlfriend, but as I am 26 I felt that I had to start working on that area before its too late. The girl I met was not a christian when I met her as we start seeing each other and becoming friends she gave her heart to God and is now trying to follow him. A couple of months later he became a couple. Honestly, I have seeing God´s hand in her, she has been really improving in some areas but one issue that I´m seeing are her friends.

None of her friends are christians and to put in worse they are actually the complete opposite, they have severe life problems so they have found between each other comfort, they hang out together most of the time to the point that it seems weird. Most of her friends are sever alcoholics (specially the men), are very "open minded" in most life topics and at least I considered them a bad influence for her.
Her group of friends basically flood every area of her life from social activities, to life advices, family and I suspect even my relationship with her.
I suffer everytime she goes out with them because I know how those parties can go off the rails pretty quick, I have to stay up until 3 or 4 am waiting for her to go back home. Because, despite the fact or her recent conversion she is still struggling with drinking at least drinking in severe moderation.
I have talk to her many times about this issue, she seems really confused in the manner because she does not consider them a threat to her relationship with God, and she believes she cand manage things well (she might but its very hard) I still hope she cand find the balance in that (I myslef has many friends that are not christians but I know the limits of to what do or not do with them)
I´m still hoping that if she deepens her relationship with God she can start noticing how her friends are not so much of a great influence with her. Recently she decided that it is best if I stop seeing her friends as she start noticing my growing dislike for them. Her group of friends basically consists of alcoholics, weed addicts, feminists, lesbians and drug addicts. I honestly don´t know how she has not fallen into any of these practices up to today.
This is the first time I have a girlfriend, I did took a risk entering a relationship with someone who has just barely start knowing God. But I really want to make this work out. But if at some point I feel that my relationship with her is damaging my relationship with God I will have to break up with her (something that I have been considering lately) and she knows this.
Should I wait and I see if there is a change of heart in her? or should I break up with her before things hurt even more. She seems very comfortable with the way her life is right now and I feel I can´t stay with a girl like that for too much of a time.
Pray for me this is the very first time I am experience all these, pray for me for serenity and guidance.

Matthew

 

[splish- splash]

Why not try & share the love of God with her friends also..Yup! Go on! Introduce King Jesus to them too, for you don't know, what tomorrow has instore..

 

[sandman]

Spiritually everybody who is born again is on the same level, with the spirit of God within. But she has been in walking according to the course of this world most of her life and you have been a Christian all of your life ….You can’t expect her to be on the same level as you ….renewed mind wise.

Be patient ….give it some time…and don’t get pushy….. just love her with the love of God. Through your walk she will see the greatness of the living Word and she will either gravitate towards you more and more, or she will slowly back off. As splish-splash stated…. if you get the opportunity to witness the Word to her friends …do that. It can either plant a seed or they will reject it ….and possibly talk about you and Christianity behind your back …which may even force your girlfriend to make a decision.

 

[seeking.IAM]

(I.. myslef has many friends that are not christians but I know the limits of to what do or not do with them)...

Matthew, is it possible that your girlfriend can also know the limits of what to do or not do when around non-Christian friends? It seems rather inconsistent to think that you will but she won't.

She seems very comfortable with the way her life is right now and I feel I can´t stay with a girl like that for too much of a time

It is seldom a good idea to enter a relationship with hope that someone is going to change, or in thinking you can change them.

I'm always a fan for holding people accountable for their behavioral choices, not who their friends are. Best wishes in sorting out whether this one is for you.

 

[BobRyan]

Should I wait and I see if there is a change of heart in her? or should I break up with her before things hurt even more. She seems very comfortable with the way her life is right now and I feel I can´t stay with a girl like that for too much of a time.
Pray for me this is the very first time I am experience all these, pray for me for serenity and guidance.

Matthew

She appears to be married to a lot of bad choices right now and if she is partying till 3 and 4 am - she is most likely not your "full time girlfriend". (perhaps part-time at best.)

Once you come to terms with the idea that this is a lost cause in its current state and it is only a matter of time before she dumps you or worse tries to get you into her group-of-partTime-boyfriends ... why not embrace it as "ended here and now" up front. And then in kindness witness to her and her friends because at that point you have nothing to lose.

Be kind - but be clear on what is life and what is not-life. What is real and what is fake and self-destructive.

See if you can get her and her maybe some of her friends to read a good commentary on the life of Christ. (Free online - an amazing book).

=====================

If on the other hand the emotional drain of a break up is not something you can endure over a long period of disappointment for the sake of the hope of evangelizing some - then leave now .. be true to your own soul on this one. You know what you can take and can't take.

 

[Mathew95]

Matthew, is it possible that your girlfriend can also know the limits of what to do or not do when around non-Christian friends? It seems rather inconsistent to think that you will but she won't.



It is seldom a good idea to enter a relationship with hope that someone is going to change, or in thinking you can change them.

I'm always a fan for holding people accountable for their behavioral choices, not who their friends are. Best wishes in sorting out whether this one is for you.

I think she knows it, I just feel sometimes she seems way to comfortable in those types of environments, even though she knows what the limits are.
Also I know what you mean, I don´t think I am trying to change her, I presented her the gift of salvation and she accepted it. But she has to understand that she can´t have the "best of both worlds"
Blessings

 

[Mathew95]

She appears to be married to a lot of bad choices right now and if she is partying till 3 and 4 am - she is most likely not your "full time girlfriend". (perhaps part-time at best.)

Once you come to terms with the idea that this is a lost cause in its current state and it is only a matter of time before she dumps you or worse tries to get you into her group-of-partTime-boyfriends ... why not embrace it as "ended here and now" up front. And then in kindness witness to her and her friends because at that point you have nothing to lose.

Be kind - but be clear on what is life and what is not-life. What is real and what is fake and self-destructive.

See if you can get her and her maybe some of her friends to read a good commentary on the life of Christ. (Free online - an amazing book).

=====================

If on the other hand the emotional drain of a break up is not something you can endure over a long period of disappointment for the sake of the hope of evangelizing some - then leave now .. be true to your own soul on this one. You know what you can take and can't take.

Thanks a lot
Blessings

 

[Captain Ahab]

I suffer everytime she goes out with them because I know how those parties can go off the rails pretty quick, I have to stay up until 3 or 4 am waiting for her to go back home.

Sounds like bad news. Why would you want to be with anyone who causes you to suffer? You’d be far better off and much happier with someone who is at a similar point as you in their walk with the Lord who doesn’t put this sort of strain on you. If it is meant to be with this person you can reconnect in the future if they are serious about God and grow in the faith. But as things are right now I cannot see this situation turning out good for you. The company she keeps should have been a red flag from the start.

Another thing, finding a woman, this really isn’t any type of thing you should be ‘working on’. That is worldly self-help talk. Sort of reminds me of the unbiblical saying I see so much that states ‘God helps people who help themselves’. Nope, God helps people who CANNOT help themselves, and humble themselves before Him. We must decrease and let Him increase. Stay strong in the Lord, pray, and if it is His plan for you to be married, He will give you a Godly woman in the time He sees fit. Pray for your friend too, like I say maybe in the future if this is meant to be you will reconnect with her. But this situation right here as it is now, I promise you it is not good for you, not now, and if she continues on as she is with these worldly people she associates with it will only get worse and harder on you. God bless you!