We have a family member who is EXTREMELY and embarrassingly controlling. It's pathological. She'd even buy you her choice of furniture, paint or white goods and be offended if you didn't use it. She even designed our kitchen and ordered it online - we just had to press the 'accept' button. She thinks she is a believer.
Another husband (not a Christian) told her off and now she keeps her advice to herself regarding his household.
BUT... we found out why she is the way she is.
She was abused by an uncle. Now she has to control and plan every situation in case something bad happens.
So, my wife says this is an explanation and also an excuse for the behaviour and will indulge it, even going so far as to accept the unwanted items or advice.
I say that explanation is not excuse and we don't have to indulge her.
I raised this with a friend (a believer) who in a children's home was abused as well. Her reply was very surprising. "No it's not acceptable (her behaviour), she needs to learn some social lessons and moreover she needs to FORGET about the abuse"
What do you think?
Another husband (not a Christian) told her off and now she keeps her advice to herself regarding his household.
BUT... we found out why she is the way she is.
She was abused by an uncle. Now she has to control and plan every situation in case something bad happens.
So, my wife says this is an explanation and also an excuse for the behaviour and will indulge it, even going so far as to accept the unwanted items or advice.
I say that explanation is not excuse and we don't have to indulge her.
I raised this with a friend (a believer) who in a children's home was abused as well. Her reply was very surprising. "No it's not acceptable (her behaviour), she needs to learn some social lessons and moreover she needs to FORGET about the abuse"
What do you think?