Chatting before Mass

[Lady Bug]

Hi, I didn't think I'd write a post like this, lol but I finally have become to understand why talking before Mass is frowned upon (as far as talking after Mass, that may be another topic, but I'm focusing on the before aspect). For many people, it's the only time/place where they can seek peace and quiet, and when they encounter things that pose as a threat to that peace and quiet, it is extremely irritating.

I paid no mind to this problem until the shoe was on my foot. I just wanted to relax, internally, but there were people talking near me as if they're at the lunch table (a bit of an exaggeration but not entirely). I thought to myself, I just want to absorb the peace/quiet that is expected of being in a sanctuary, and I can't get it. I then thought, "I used to think people were legalistic about this, and now I totally get it."

A couple days ago at Saturday Vigil, I was sitting next to a lady who I otherwise like and who likes me. She is chatty though, and as much as I try to whisper to her as softly as possible, she doesn't talk as soft and I'm starting to worry that others in the congregation will start knowing me as "the one who talks and distracts people" even though it's not entirely my choice - it's the choice of the woman next to me. On Saturday she happened to be chatting with a lady she went to high school with, and they didn't seem considerate of how "loud" they were talking among the congregation who were trying to wait for Mass. Mind you, they're not the only ones guilty of doing it, but they stood out.

 

[FaithT]

Hi, I didn't think I'd write a post like this, lol but I finally have become to understand why talking before Mass is frowned upon (as far as talking after Mass, that may be another topic, but I'm focusing on the before aspect). For many people, it's the only time/place where they can seek peace and quiet, and when they encounter things that pose as a threat to that peace and quiet, it is extremely irritating.

I paid no mind to this problem until the shoe was on my foot. I just wanted to relax, internally, but there were people talking near me as if they're at the lunch table (a bit of an exaggeration but not entirely). I thought to myself, I just want to absorb the peace/quiet that is expected of being in a sanctuary, and I can't get it. I then thought, "I used to think people were legalistic about this, and now I totally get it."

A couple days ago at Saturday Vigil, I was sitting next to a lady who I otherwise like and who likes me. She is chatty though, and as much as I try to whisper to her as softly as possible, she doesn't talk as soft and I'm starting to worry that others in the congregation will start knowing me as "the one who talks and distracts people" even though it's not entirely my choice - it's the choice of the woman next to me. On Saturday she happened to be chatting with a lady she went to high school with, and they didn't seem considerate of how "loud" they were talking among the congregation who were trying to wait for Mass. Mind you, they're not the only ones guilty of doing it, but they stood out.

Funny you should start a thread about this. I have an older friend I usually sit with at Mass. I feel the same way, though there are times when I need to say something so I’ll whisper. She can’t hear and then she wants me to talk louder. I just wave her off and mouth the words “never mind.”
Yesterday I said whatever I was trying to say louder because I was so frustrated with my friend not hearing me and now I am afraid the family behind us were disturbed by us.

 

[RileyG]

I agree. I find it annoying.

 

[WarriorAngel]

I pray for the grace to concentrate and it is very helpful for me.

I have shot people a glance. Or cleared my throat.

But mainly apologies to the Lord for the inability I have to concentrate.
And forgive them. Forgiveness is a very underrated part of peace.

 

[RileyG]

At my nephews first holy Communion, the older lady in front of me kept yammering on and on. It drove me nuts. I assume she wasn’t Catholic because she didn’t cross herself, or receive Holy Communion etc. she probably didn’t understand the importance of Holy Mass.

 

[Lady Bug]

At my nephews first holy Communion, the older lady in front of me kept yammering on and on. It drove me nuts. I assume she wasn’t Catholic because she didn’t cross herself, or receive Holy Communion etc. she probably didn’t understand the importance of Holy Mass.

That's a different story, although I wish she'd learn the etiquette. The woman I know is probably 80-something and has been Catholic her whole life, went to Catholic schools, goes to Confession every week, etc.

 

[RileyG]

That's a different story, although I wish she'd learn the etiquette. The woman I know is probably 80-something and has been Catholic her whole life, went to Catholic schools, goes to Confession every week, etc.

Maybe she has dementia?

 

[joymercy]

It's dying to love of self out of love of Him

 

[Lady Bug]

Maybe she has dementia?

Oh gosh, I don't think so. She seems completely alright in her faculties. I hope you're wrong, but it doesn't look like she has any problems at all.

 

[RileyG]

Oh gosh, I don't think so. She seems completely alright in her faculties. I hope you're wrong, but it doesn't look like she has any problems at all.

Some people are naturally no talkative. Maybe she means no harm.

 

[Lady Bug]

Some people are naturally no talkative. Maybe she means no harm.

I don't think she means harm at all, but it's going to render me guilty by association if I keep sitting next to her. Sigh

 

[Michie]

I don't think she means harm at all, but it's going to render me guilty by association if I keep sitting next to her. Sigh

Are you going to stop sitting next to her?

 

[RileyG]

I don't think she means harm at all, but it's going to render me guilty by association if I keep sitting next to her. Sigh

I suggest you stop sitting by her or just politely inform her you are trying to pray. I don't know how she will take it, though.

 

[Lady Bug]

Are you going to stop sitting next to her?

I don't know what to do, actually. I haven't gone there in a couple weeks. The last time I was there, however, she wasn't there, but that's not usually the case.

 

[Lady Bug]

I hate how even in the church I love, there's always a problem. That's what we get in this fallen world.

 

[RileyG]

I hate how even in the church I love, there's always a problem. That's what we get in this fallen world.

Nothing will be perfect until Christ returns. That's just how our world is, sadly.

 

[FaithT]

That's a different story, although I wish she'd learn the etiquette. The woman I know is probably 80-something and has been Catholic her whole life, went to Catholic schools, goes to Confession every week, etc.

The friend I was talking about is in her late 70’s. I’ve noticed that usually it’s older people who are doing this. They probably can’t hear. And don’t care that they’re talking loudly. I had to drag my friend out into the lobby Saturday to tell her something important before Mass and she still was asking ”should I take my purse?” And then I had to keep signaling her to follow me out the doors.

 

[FaithT]

I suggest you stop sitting by her or just politely inform her you are trying to pray. I don't know how she will take it, though.

I’ve found that when I pray the rosary my friend usually sits quietly.

 

[RileyG]

I’ve found that when I pray the rosary my friend usually sits quietly.

That’s good!