Disabled as a man, in late 30's, am I just destined to be single in this life?

[Ronit]

I've experienced healing a number of times in my life.....
if God had not healed me of rheumatoid arthritis I could be disabled at this time as well. I am sixty... i was healed when I was about twenty or twenty one. I developed arthritis when I was about fourteen.


Jas 5:14

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord

Praise God!

 

[TLSITD]

I've seen some threads from women who worried about being single their entire lives because of disability, I worry about that too, I'm a little extra worried because of society, as a man, I can't be a provider for a family because of my disabilities (I also worry isn't it biblical teachings that a man should be the head of household and provider for his family?). It's emasculating to think about even in the most unlikely scenarios that some woman was able to love me, she would be providing for me. I feel socially pressured that it'd be impossible for me to meet a woman, fall in love and get married because I feel I'd be a bad husband unable to provide for himself much less a family, and I feel like there's no way I could be desirable to anyone given my physical condition and lack of job, money, possessions, prospects, etc. So I'm worried I'm single forever (remember, Matthew 22, there's not going to be a "second chance" after the resurrection, if I'm single this life I will be single eternally). I don't even know how to meet someone since I'm homebound most of the time, haven't been able to go to church in years because I can't drive myself and family are not believers. As bad as the physical pain is, the loneliness and only company being non believers (and they think my beliefs are silly to say the least, I'm worried if I push the issue more I will find myself homeless) is worse in many ways.

Dear brother,

My heart is moved with great compassion after reading your post. I wish that it were possible for me to reach through the screen and give you a hug and pray with you, but I'll pray for you from afar.

God loves you, and He has a purpose and a plan for your life, and whether it includes marriage or healing or neither, the ultimate result of His work in you will outweigh and outlast anything you could have or experience here.

I have the same faith for myself and my own situation, which, while different than your own, is similar in many ways and a heavy cross to carry.

I encourage you to seek the Lord for grace and guidance concerning what His will is for you, so that you will have a focus and can pour yourself into that and find joy and purpose in it, whatever that may be (something I am doing myself in my own situation).

If you need a friend or someone to talk to, it would be my honor and privilege to serve you. I'm a very compassionate person, and I enjoy taking care of others. I'd be glad to get to know you, and to help you in whatever way God enables.

Romans 8:23-32
1 Corinthians 1:25-31; 15:35-58
2 Corinthians 4:16-18; 5:1-10

 

[har_habayit]

Wow, I didn't know these threads became so dormant over time. The last post was in 2019!

I just joined this forum and while the OP is probably not reading this anymore, I wanted to say that I've had this same fear. I am 38 and at least temporarily disabled. I've had long COVID twice and it is something that has interfered with my ability to work.

As for the need for opposite sex relationship, it is tough. Being desirable in some way is critical to attracting a woman. Jesus loves us for who we are at our worst, but we are not wired to do the same. For me, having a disability, I want to do the best I can to simply maximize what good I have in my life so that I don't go around moping as a victim, for that will certainly not lead to any friendships or a girlfriend. Let's remember that a girlfriend or wife is simply that, a friend. Friends are encouragers and while they are honest with their friends, they also try to bring positivity to the table. No one wants to be with a friend who just pulls them down.

When you're down and depressed like me, I've realized you need to reignite your passion somehow. When I'm depressed and I can't break out of it, it leads me to certain vices and bad attitudes that are simply destructive. Getting connected to community, in any way that is feasible, is really, really important. As for passions (interests, I mean) we all have them. We must tap into those and feel like we are contributing.

Without passion and faith and excitement for the future, any person will "die" on the inside in short order. I can't allow myself to go down that path.