I've seen some threads from women who worried about being single their entire lives because of disability, I worry about that too, I'm a little extra worried because of society, as a man, I can't be a provider for a family because of my disabilities (I also worry isn't it biblical teachings that a man should be the head of household and provider for his family?). It's emasculating to think about even in the most unlikely scenarios that some woman was able to love me, she would be providing for me. I feel socially pressured that it'd be impossible for me to meet a woman, fall in love and get married because I feel I'd be a bad husband unable to provide for himself much less a family, and I feel like there's no way I could be desirable to anyone given my physical condition and lack of job, money, possessions, prospects, etc. So I'm worried I'm single forever (remember, Matthew 22, there's not going to be a "second chance" after the resurrection, if I'm single this life I will be single eternally). I don't even know how to meet someone since I'm homebound most of the time, haven't been able to go to church in years because I can't drive myself and family are not believers. As bad as the physical pain is, the loneliness and only company being non believers (and they think my beliefs are silly to say the least, I'm worried if I push the issue more I will find myself homeless) is worse in many ways.
I never thought I'd get married again at one point because of disability, but then when I was ready I met two men who both wanted to marry me.
One was wealthier and the other poor, and I chose the poor one because it was him I love.
He's amazing, our marriage is amazing; disability and all. I get SSD, so it's an income albeit not a lot. However it paired nicely with his, so I kept a feeling of sufficiency and not completely worthless in the relationship... I also contributed my talents to making a home for when he came home from work.
Now I know your thinking this is normal because I'm a woman, but roles are changing in this day and age.
Back when I worked full time I made a good income, but man was I jealous of those men I worked with who had stay at home wives. When they got home from work there was dinner waiting, and they had clothes that were clean and pressed through no effort of their own. The only thing they worried about after a long day at work was sitting down and watching a show... and I, even as a women, wanted a wife too.. haha. Not technically, but just that ease... that comfort. That worry-less existence after work.
Me? I was going home cooking my own meals, washing and pressing my own laundry, cleaning house, doing dishes, grocery shopping etc... after working a full day. Exhausting..
There are women who enjoy their jobs, but as they get older wouldn't mind having a spouse to help out at home, to help with cooking and cleaning and laundry etc who wouldn't have any issues with disabilities..
Certainly it takes someone special... but they do exist! Don't decide what roles you have to fulfill, just decide to trust that God will send along a help meet for you... AND pray for it! Be open to the possibilities of a nontraditional relationship..
As a beside, my husband is laid off, lost his job months ago and now that unemployment is exhausted, I am the only income in the house. My disability IS what we now live on.
While it's not a job, it's an income, it's not nothing... pays the rent.
