family friend's

[Bombeni]

I grew up with family friends where the dad was a preacher. There were four kids. One girl is a prostitute in Las Vegas, one son died of cirrhosis of the liver, the other son died of AIDS, and the one remaining daughter is on social security disability for an alleged back injury, which she waited 5 years for SS to approve. She never had surgery, just says her back hurts. Her daughter moved to LV a few years back to visit her aunt, and wound up staying there. She was one of the playmates of Tiger Woods. True story. I'm not naming names for obvious reasons, but she was in 2 or 3 or the magazines and was interviewed on tv. This is all I know of the possible ramifications of preacher kids. Not all stories turn out like this I'm sure.

 

[heron]

The role puts a lot of stress on a family.
There's the normal interest in keeping things in order, not embarrassing oneself publicly, fear of criticism, overwork, expectations to be religious...

I don't know if it's much different than being the child of a senator though, except that the whole family is expected to be continually involved. There is no escape from people knowing, even at school.

It might seem like the pressure comes from the parents, like in Footloose; but it comes from many sources, including internally.

And you have a good point. The original NT structure of a church had more believers sharing leadership responsibilities, and fewer people with time to burn on the sidelines. If we followed the model, there would be fewer family members suffering from living in a fishbowl.

 

[CFDavid]

I think there's a combination of pressure put on families to "look good" plus the aspect that many ministers wind up spending waaaaaaaaayyy more time on their ministry than caring for their families. And it's hard to argue, because so many needs are truly legitimate.

"Ruth Kramer had a stroke. I just found out; I need to go to the hospital."

"Awwww, honey... tonight was supposed to be miniature golf!"

 

[heron]

I saw the same sort of results across a congregation when they grew obsessively involved in church activities... the kids suffered.

That raises questions about the faith, but if you look at scriptures, God didn't mandate men's mentoring retreats and women's choirs -- those are expressions of our faith and ideals. God mandated a day of complete rest, but we think serving Him is so much more productive. He asked that we meditate on His Word. Stand on our in faith in Him. Live in love.

 

[CFDavid]

That being said, if I were in authority over this person and knew the history, he would definitely be stepping down. Some kids will be aberrations, and there might be little a parent can do to change that, but if this is true, it definitely shows a pattern of some sort of neglect on the part of both parents.

 

[king of sprites]

thanks