corporal punishment

[VOW]

To Cammie:

I think we've all been in church, in a restaurant, in a theater, in some public place where kids have behaved as you described. It's abominable. Some people feel if they set limits for their children, that their children won't "love" them, or they'll damage the child some way.

Hogwash.

If you love your child, you will teach him or her how to behave properly. Discipline IS a form of love. The child who is permitted to run wild, tear up property, beat up other people, and behave like a rabid dog is going to come face-to-face with limits and restrictions in school. As the child grows, there will certainly be limits and restrictions in the workplace.

A well-placed swat has its uses, but it generally won't work on the unruly child in a restaurant, church, or movie. Why? Because the kid will start to SCREAM. No, the best disciplinarian move for the unruly child is REMOVAL. Mom or Dad needs to take the kid OUTSIDE (or to another room) where the distraction is minimized, and you can get nose-to-nose with the kid and say, "Knock it off RIGHT NOW."

You may have to actually LEAVE a few times. It's aggravating to walk away from a meal or a sermon, or even a movie you've paid for. But I guarantee you, it won't happen very often.

Even a toddler can learn this. You might need a few trips to another room, but soon all you'll have to do is say, "Do we need to take this outside?" and the kid will shape up.

You work it right, all it will take is "the look."

And the moms here know EXACTLY what I mean!




Peace,
~VOW

 

[Wolseley]

Kids learn very early on what they can get away with. If parents threaten, but never back up the threat with any action, the kid soon learns to ignore the parent and do what he wants to anyway. Continually going "Shh...shh!" is worse than useless. If I had acted that way in church, I would have been warned once, possibly twice, and after that, I would have been taken outside and at the very least, I would have gotten an extremely stern talking-to.

As to the running around and kicking people in the groin, it boggles my mind. If I had done something like that, my parents would have blistered my behind.

On the other hand, many parents today are afraid to discipline their children in public, because some clueless bleeding-heart liberal might see it and turn them in to the local child-protection Gestapo, and the next thing you know, the kid is taken away, the parents never see the kid again, and the kid ends up in a series of foster homes, and his situation is 40 times worse than it would have been if he'd just been left at home. I am not denying that there are legitimate abuse cases, but giving your kid a swat in the seat of the pants for spitting on the floor of grocery checkout lane is not grounds for having the kid taken away by the state.

 

[VOW]

To Wols:

You got MY vote!

To the brat who spits on the floor, a swat AND handed a kleenex and told, "Clean that up NOW."

I see kids running wild in the grocery store, riding their bikes in the middle of the street at 8 PM (no lights or reflectors, either!) and destroying everything they get their hands on.

Not at MY house.


Peace,
~VOW

 

[Wolseley]

Nor at mine. I love my kid to distraction, but that doesn't mean I let him do whatever he wants.

 

[LilyLamb]

Amen to the above ... back up what you preach with firm discipline ... and as annoying as it is, leaving the store, or restaurant is not just disciplining the child - it's not putting others through your misery. No one should have to suffer indigestion because of another person's unruly child ...

We have some children at our church who are loud - their grandmother (who has custody of them) tries to get them to be quiet and they are slowly learning ... and so we tolerate them for now. It use to be that you couldn't drop the boys off at the nursery without them screaming/crying the entire time for their grandmother - this is a situation that I can understand (might be harder for the visitors to understand) ... the grandmother is trying really hard to get these children into a good routine and give them a good home life ... it's a struggle for her to get them to church all by herself, but she's faithful to bring them. The folks that sit near her try to help out ...

Discipling your children through means other than spanking requires some creativity and thought - it's easy to just turn around and swat a child - it's much for effective to "know" your child and use that knowledge to your advantage. With that knowledge you can know when a spanking is absolutely necessary.

I have found that if my son is acting out and the usual forms of discipline aren't working that often (not always, but most of the time) he is either overly tired, sick or coming down with something and needs to go to bed. Certain medicines will also get him "wired for sound" (literally) and I have to make sure that he fully understands what is being asked of him.

Being a parent is not easy ... but the rewards are wonderful

As to the above original question and the intent behind that question ... I would never allow a person other than myself or my husband or grandparent (never a sibling) to spank our children. Any teacher who is intimidating a child by threatening them in ANY way should be reported to the principal immediately ... if no action is taken on their part ... let them know that you will alert the Department of Social Services to investigate and see if that doesn't bring about some changes.