I am curious what your views are on your school policy regarding corporal punishment. Do you give your school permission to spank your children, why or why not? /do you feel like it is only the parents place to give paddlings or is it alright with you for other people to administer this type of discipline?
corporal punishment
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IslandBreeze
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I don't know of any schools up here (Michigan) that will use corporal punishment even if a parent gives consent. I am all for corporal punishment, but I really think that it's a parent's place. There is a line between a spanking and a beating, and you never know when someone else might cross that line....
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I don't agree with schools administering swats. As the Bible says, a loving father disciplines his son. I don't think that those people love my children the way that I their mother does. The way I understand corporal punishment there must be great love involved.
I have 2 bad memories of swats myself when I was in 1st grade and in 4th grade. I experienced no love through that correction, all I felt was teacher's frustration and my bitter hatered toward those teachers.
I have 2 bad memories of swats myself when I was in 1st grade and in 4th grade. I experienced no love through that correction, all I felt was teacher's frustration and my bitter hatered toward those teachers.
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Our schools don't use corporal punishment.
We don't use corporal punishment in our home - use to - but not anymore.
We don't use corporal punishment in our home - use to - but not anymore.
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Phoebe
TwoBrickShyOfAFullLoad
I wouldn't want someone (outside of family)doing this to my child. I would find it hard to trust that the person administering it would keep control of themself.
If my child was being destructive or dangerous, I would expect a family member to administer a swat to the rear end.(or on the hand) I would ask to receive a call from the teacher. I think spanking should be kept at a minimum. It doesn't take long for it to lose it's effect.
Also, only an open hand swat would be used.
If my child was being destructive or dangerous, I would expect a family member to administer a swat to the rear end.(or on the hand) I would ask to receive a call from the teacher. I think spanking should be kept at a minimum. It doesn't take long for it to lose it's effect.
Also, only an open hand swat would be used.
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I'm really torn on the issue of corporal punishment. I certainly don't think teachers should be allowed to use it, there's way too much risk involved there (i.e. being used for the wrong purposes, being too forceful, etc). I'm not even sure if I believe in corporal punishment in the home. I don't have any kids yet, but I still like to think about these things.
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VOW
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I don't think the school should be administering corporal punishment. A swat on the butt to a toddler who has just run out into the street is about as corporal as I believe in.
I am also guilty of violating that very belief.
My son has Attention Deficit Disorder. And before he was diagnosed, he would behave in such a way as to try my patience beyond belief. Even after he was diagnosed, I often gave in to my frustration and administered a spanking.
I say this with shame now. Because after the heat of the moment had passed, I discovered that he could not make the connection between the punishment and his misbehavior. All he could focus on was that I HURT him. There was no learning experience.
So, it's my belief that 99.9% of the time corporal punishment is merely a way for the parent to vent frustration and anger.
And it doesn't even do a good job of that.
Peace,
~VOW
I am also guilty of violating that very belief.
My son has Attention Deficit Disorder. And before he was diagnosed, he would behave in such a way as to try my patience beyond belief. Even after he was diagnosed, I often gave in to my frustration and administered a spanking.
I say this with shame now. Because after the heat of the moment had passed, I discovered that he could not make the connection between the punishment and his misbehavior. All he could focus on was that I HURT him. There was no learning experience.
So, it's my belief that 99.9% of the time corporal punishment is merely a way for the parent to vent frustration and anger.
And it doesn't even do a good job of that.
Peace,
~VOW
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If my children are misbehaving enough in school to deserve to be whipped then they need to call me. Not take it upon themselves to whip them. If my childrens school ever brought back corpral punishment And left me no say what so ever I would withdrawl them and teach them at home.
All parents have a differnt opinion as to when their child should or should not be whipped and each child is differnt. my 6 yr old you stand him in the corner ad you will do more damage then whipping him. my 4 yr old you gentley swat her hand and you would think you broke it my 8 yr old I could whip him and all it would do is make him mad at me.
The School system nor anyone in it has the right to choose to whip my child.
All parents have a differnt opinion as to when their child should or should not be whipped and each child is differnt. my 6 yr old you stand him in the corner ad you will do more damage then whipping him. my 4 yr old you gentley swat her hand and you would think you broke it my 8 yr old I could whip him and all it would do is make him mad at me.
The School system nor anyone in it has the right to choose to whip my child.
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Jenna
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My daughter isn't of school age, and Michigan doesn't allow for teachers or administration to spank children, but aside from all that........
I don't want anyone but my husband and I (and probably anna's grandmas) to spank her. If she were in a situation where there was the possibility to be punished like that at school, then I wouldn't want anyone to lay a hand on her. Disipline is one of my jobs, being that I am her mother. I take every other responsibility that I have to her as the highest of priorities, and punishement is handled the same way. If someone had a problem with how she was behaving, I would expect them to call me so *I* can take care of the matter.
I don't want anyone but my husband and I (and probably anna's grandmas) to spank her. If she were in a situation where there was the possibility to be punished like that at school, then I wouldn't want anyone to lay a hand on her. Disipline is one of my jobs, being that I am her mother. I take every other responsibility that I have to her as the highest of priorities, and punishement is handled the same way. If someone had a problem with how she was behaving, I would expect them to call me so *I* can take care of the matter.
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Tini
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I agree with you guys. I feel it is our responsibility as parents to discipline our children with corporal punishment. The school is welcome to give time outs or simiar discipline.
We have only ever given permission to one of our friends who also have children to spank our son if required. They have only ever done it once. We have never had to spank their daughters.
But I would expect the teachers to tell us so that we could discipline our child if required.
We have only ever given permission to one of our friends who also have children to spank our son if required. They have only ever done it once. We have never had to spank their daughters.
But I would expect the teachers to tell us so that we could discipline our child if required.
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Wow, thanks for the responses! I have actually found people who agree with me about this. At the beginning of each school year the children are sent home with info. on this subject. We chose whether or not to allow our kids to be paddled. I have always said no, but you would be surprised at how many people that think I am wrong for saying no. I have even heard comments to the effect that I am giving the kids a licence to act up. They assume that kids will automatically be disrespectful because of the decision to not allow spanking. I think this absurd. I, in good conscience, can not allow someone else to raise a hand to my boys. That is my responsibility as a parent. My hubby feels the same way I do. I am glad to see such a response, thanks alot, everyone!
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^ just out of curiosity, what type of school do your children attend? I'm only asking because I've never heard of a school offering the option whether or not to spank the children. don't feel you have to answer, I'm just curious.
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I'm chocked!! I'm not from america so I'm not really into your coulture but I can't see how anyone would like to hit or spank their children. It teaches them at a very young age to solve things with their fists instead of talking about it.
I thought the beating of children stoped in the 1940's or something like that and only occured in 3rd world countries with low education of the people but I guess I was wrong.
I thought the beating of children stoped in the 1940's or something like that and only occured in 3rd world countries with low education of the people but I guess I was wrong.
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IslandBreeze
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A spanking is NOT a beating. A swat on the butt never hurt a kid--that's what the butt is there for. If you think that spankings teach violence, you're dead wrong. In fact, studies have shown that kids who were spanked are LESS violent, and have fewer behavioral problems than those who weren't spanked.
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Actually ... we just received a copy of 2 news releases titled as follows ...
Study: Harm Outweighs Benefits of Spanking Washington Post 6/26/02
Study: Spare the rod, improve the child USA TODAY 7/8/02
This was included in our monthly newsletter for foster parents.
We did spank our child before our training to be foster parents (not very often though - it wasn't really needed) ... after our training we signed an agreement that we would not use corporal punishment on any foster child placed in our home (which we were in total agreement with after becoming more aware of disciplines that teach real life consequences).
Spanking is not the most effective form of discipline.
Train up a child - discipline - and he will not depart from it.
My children learn more from consequences than they do a spanking. It's very easy for a spanking to get out of control .....
Quotes from the articles ...
"Lots of people are worried that if parents never spanked, the result would be kids running wild ... Actually, what the research shows is just the opposite." Murray Straus, Univ. of New Hampshire
"Although spanking works, it does not work better than other methods of correcting and teaching kids."
"Spanking has harmful side effects. It increases "the chance that a child will become rebellious or depressed." These side effects may take years to show up ..."
"Toddlers and young children who are not spanked tend to have faster mental development, do better in school and have a better chance of graduating from college ... they also hit other children less and grow up to be parents who tend not to spank."
"The practice also does not teach a child right from wrong."
Discipline that uses real life consequences teaches ...
and that's not just "my" humble opinion
Study: Harm Outweighs Benefits of Spanking Washington Post 6/26/02
Study: Spare the rod, improve the child USA TODAY 7/8/02
This was included in our monthly newsletter for foster parents.
We did spank our child before our training to be foster parents (not very often though - it wasn't really needed) ... after our training we signed an agreement that we would not use corporal punishment on any foster child placed in our home (which we were in total agreement with after becoming more aware of disciplines that teach real life consequences).
Spanking is not the most effective form of discipline.
Train up a child - discipline - and he will not depart from it.
My children learn more from consequences than they do a spanking. It's very easy for a spanking to get out of control .....
Quotes from the articles ...
"Lots of people are worried that if parents never spanked, the result would be kids running wild ... Actually, what the research shows is just the opposite." Murray Straus, Univ. of New Hampshire
"Although spanking works, it does not work better than other methods of correcting and teaching kids."
"Spanking has harmful side effects. It increases "the chance that a child will become rebellious or depressed." These side effects may take years to show up ..."
"Toddlers and young children who are not spanked tend to have faster mental development, do better in school and have a better chance of graduating from college ... they also hit other children less and grow up to be parents who tend not to spank."
"The practice also does not teach a child right from wrong."
Discipline that uses real life consequences teaches ...
and that's not just "my" humble opinion
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VOW
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It's true, spanking IS discipline.
However, it's not the ONLY discipline.
I look at my hulk-of-a-kid who will be 17 next week (yikes!). If I had depended ONLY upon spanking to correct him when he was younger, I'd be in a very, very precarious position right now. His DADDY may be able to hold his own against the son, but my son has jokingly showed me that he could literally wipe the floor with me.
He wouldn't DARE, though.
And he KNOWS it.
That's the problem with kids. You feed them, they grow, LOL!
Peace,
~VOW
However, it's not the ONLY discipline.
I look at my hulk-of-a-kid who will be 17 next week (yikes!). If I had depended ONLY upon spanking to correct him when he was younger, I'd be in a very, very precarious position right now. His DADDY may be able to hold his own against the son, but my son has jokingly showed me that he could literally wipe the floor with me.
He wouldn't DARE, though.
And he KNOWS it.
That's the problem with kids. You feed them, they grow, LOL!
Peace,
~VOW
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Dewjunkie
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I agree that training your child is effective, if that child is old enough to understand reason. For some reason, my 2 year old doesn't quite comprehend much other than a good smack on the back of the hand. I don't think she hates me for it, I certainly don't think she is going to grow up and take a gun to school because of it, nor do I think she will be traumatized as an adult. I do know she doesn't touch what she's not supposed to after the 2nd or 3rd time. When she's old enough to understand action vs. consequence more clearly, then we will find other means.
I do whole-heartedly agree that a spanking should never be a venting process for the parent. If I am that frustrated with her, then I, as the father, take a step back and calm myself before dealing with her.
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