This is getting out of hand...

[NoahSK]

Sorry for posting again so soon, but I have a new fear/obsession. But this one is different. It's kind of related to my theoretical hell question. If you've read it, you'll be able to kind of understand what's going on now. For some reason, my mind wants to make up random, completely hypothetical, unrealistic situations/realities/worlds in which I would act contrary to the way a Christian should. For example (and these are gonna sound crazy or twisted, but I don't like leaving out details), a world where sexual pleasure was the ultimate pleasure and goal of life, or a world where I could do anything I want without repercussions, or a world where sin was good or something, or where sin was the source of true happiness, stuff like that. And then I'll question myself: would I choose that kind of world over this one? Do I like that world, where I can do what I want without consequences, more than the real world (where sin has consequences, comes with bad feelings, leaves one empty; and where true happiness comes from being with God). I don't know if I'm over analyzing WAY too much, or what. I'm still worried about the same underlying issue from the last post: do I love sin more than God, and is the only thing keeping me from sinning, the only thing keeping me searching after God and desiring a change of heart or whatever, only because of the reality of punishment? I don't know why I go down these rabbit trails, or how they start, but they really make me begin to question my sanity, morality, the condition of my heart, and my salvation. This probably all sounds weird, but if anyone has anything to say on if this is still OCD, or if it's really starting to look like a heart issue, please let me know. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but it's bothering me, so I need to get it out there. Sorry if I said too much or if I trigger someone somehow, I don't want to do any harm. I probably sound crazy or insane in this post, probably cause I am. In case you couldn't tell, I have some issues/problems with a certain sin area. I think a better way to explain would be, if there was a button to make the real world like any of the imaginary worlds I listed above or similar, would I press it? I honestly have no idea why I'm beginning to have all these thoughts and random stuff, it all seems so weird. I honestly kind of hate myself a little more now, based on what this obsession is leading me to believe about myself. This will probably make no sense to anyone and I'll probably be the only one experiencing this, but oh well. Not much I can do. I'm tired of this crap.

 

[mukk_in]

Have you sought out a counselor here Noah? There are some trained Christian psychiatrists who can help with your OCD.

 

[Shadowprophet]

Sorry for posting again so soon, but I have a new fear/obsession. But this one is different. It's kind of related to my theoretical hell question. If you've read it, you'll be able to kind of understand what's going on now. For some reason, my mind wants to make up random, completely hypothetical, unrealistic situations/realities/worlds in which I would act contrary to the way a Christian should. For example (and these are gonna sound crazy or twisted, but I don't like leaving out details), a world where sexual pleasure was the ultimate pleasure and goal of life, or a world where I could do anything I want without repercussions, or a world where sin was good or something, or where sin was the source of true happiness, stuff like that. And then I'll question myself: would I choose that kind of world over this one? Do I like that world, where I can do what I want without consequences, more than the real world (where sin has consequences, comes with bad feelings, leaves one empty; and where true happiness comes from being with God). I don't know if I'm over analyzing WAY too much, or what. I'm still worried about the same underlying issue from the last post: do I love sin more than God, and is the only thing keeping me from sinning, the only thing keeping me searching after God and desiring a change of heart or whatever, only because of the reality of punishment? I don't know why I go down these rabbit trails, or how they start, but they really make me begin to question my sanity, morality, the condition of my heart, and my salvation. This probably all sounds weird, but if anyone has anything to say on if this is still OCD, or if it's really starting to look like a heart issue, please let me know. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but it's bothering me, so I need to get it out there. Sorry if I said too much or if I trigger someone somehow, I don't want to do any harm. I probably sound crazy or insane in this post, probably cause I am. In case you couldn't tell, I have some issues/problems with a certain sin area. I think a better way to explain would be, if there was a button to make the real world like any of the imaginary worlds I listed above or similar, would I press it? I honestly have no idea why I'm beginning to have all these thoughts and random stuff, it all seems so weird. I honestly kind of hate myself a little more now, based on what this obsession is leading me to believe about myself. This will probably make no sense to anyone and I'll probably be the only one experiencing this, but oh well. Not much I can do. I'm tired of this crap.

Doing the Right things doesn't reward us because it's easy, We are rewarded for doing right because it's hard. We all, if people were being truthful, have our temptations to overcome, Lust, Believe it or not, is one of the issues that a lot of people share.

If I could suggest something, Everyone is subject to idol thoughts, We are beings that were created with Desires, Psychologically, It is proven, That most people that are healthy and have a healthy sex drive think about sex several times a day. You can't beat yourself up for being human man, We are creatures full of lust and sin and desire, And at the same time, there are rules and regulations.

We will have temptations, And sometimes, We will fall to those temptations, Because we are not perfect. This is why God "GIVES SALVATION AWAY" all you have to do is accept it.

No one is perfect bro.

 

[Jeshu]

Sorry for posting again so soon, but I have a new fear/obsession. But this one is different. It's kind of related to my theoretical hell question. If you've read it, you'll be able to kind of understand what's going on now. For some reason, my mind wants to make up random, completely hypothetical, unrealistic situations/realities/worlds in which I would act contrary to the way a Christian should. For example (and these are gonna sound crazy or twisted, but I don't like leaving out details), a world where sexual pleasure was the ultimate pleasure and goal of life, or a world where I could do anything I want without repercussions, or a world where sin was good or something, or where sin was the source of true happiness, stuff like that. And then I'll question myself: would I choose that kind of world over this one? Do I like that world, where I can do what I want without consequences, more than the real world (where sin has consequences, comes with bad feelings, leaves one empty; and where true happiness comes from being with God). I don't know if I'm over analyzing WAY too much, or what. I'm still worried about the same underlying issue from the last post: do I love sin more than God, and is the only thing keeping me from sinning, the only thing keeping me searching after God and desiring a change of heart or whatever, only because of the reality of punishment? I don't know why I go down these rabbit trails, or how they start, but they really make me begin to question my sanity, morality, the condition of my heart, and my salvation. This probably all sounds weird, but if anyone has anything to say on if this is still OCD, or if it's really starting to look like a heart issue, please let me know. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but it's bothering me, so I need to get it out there. Sorry if I said too much or if I trigger someone somehow, I don't want to do any harm. I probably sound crazy or insane in this post, probably cause I am. In case you couldn't tell, I have some issues/problems with a certain sin area. I think a better way to explain would be, if there was a button to make the real world like any of the imaginary worlds I listed above or similar, would I press it? I honestly have no idea why I'm beginning to have all these thoughts and random stuff, it all seems so weird. I honestly kind of hate myself a little more now, based on what this obsession is leading me to believe about myself. This will probably make no sense to anyone and I'll probably be the only one experiencing this, but oh well. Not much I can do. I'm tired of this crap.

Yes i know what you are talking about. It is the devil trying to twist God's truth into a lie when it comes to your sexual desire that are unfaithful to god's loving truth. So that rayther than letting Jesus in His loving truth renew you and set you free a sexual person in His kingdom you be bounded by your fantasies.

Unfaithful love lays underneath all of this. She shapes that unfaithful prostitute we have living in our heart because our love is polluted. It is really important to get free from such thinking and the best is to tell Jesus all about your unfaithful dreams and ask him to build his loving truth there instead. With Him you can cultivate faithful to God love and become sexually a child of God instead of a victim of your sinful sexual desires.

The sexual battle has proven to be a long one in my life. Where i still fall at times, even today i did. Yet i get back up again confessing my unfaithful love and asking Jesus to set me free from that. Sexual sin is hardest to fight seeing it are such strong impulses. The devil knows that and that is why he tries and polluted it in every way possible.

Please cover yourself with the blood of Christ and let His loving grace teach you how to have sex the way God intended it to be. Not like your sinful desires would have it but dying to them and replacing them with God's loving truth.

So repent each time you have dreams of unfaithful sexual love and ask Jesus to replace them with true love and preserve your life from have to run after your sexual desires and serving them as god.

The more grace you eat the more God's love will give you the ability to fight your sins. Place it all into Christ's hands time and again and He will lead you on the way you ought to go.

Even if you fall 7x70 times a day, if you are sorry for your sins He will forgive you, be of good courage.

Peace unto you.

 

[SarahsKnight]

This will probably make no sense to anyone and I'll probably be the only one experiencing this, but oh well.

Not at all, I actually think I understand quite well the kinds of thoughts you have been having that you describe, and you certainly are not crazy. The mere fear of them only makes the problem even worse, unfortunately, but it is far from easy to just stop thinking them, or worrying. I hope you have not accidentally triggered anyone else who may suffer this type of OCD, either, but if just talking about your problems have enabled you to feel just a little better, even for a moment, I can certainly understand.

Will pray for your healing, NoahSK.

 

[Dave G.]

It's difficult to respond to these questions with spiritual content when the people posting here have an actual disorder that manifests itself with destructive thoughts and they live in those thoughts as if real. There is no advise but to take your meds and follow doctors orders and just understand that the thoughts are not reality. We can pray for deliverance/healing though from the disorder itself, the result of which is up to God.

 

[Mari17]

Sorry for posting again so soon, but I have a new fear/obsession. But this one is different. It's kind of related to my theoretical hell question. If you've read it, you'll be able to kind of understand what's going on now. For some reason, my mind wants to make up random, completely hypothetical, unrealistic situations/realities/worlds in which I would act contrary to the way a Christian should. For example (and these are gonna sound crazy or twisted, but I don't like leaving out details), a world where sexual pleasure was the ultimate pleasure and goal of life, or a world where I could do anything I want without repercussions, or a world where sin was good or something, or where sin was the source of true happiness, stuff like that. And then I'll question myself: would I choose that kind of world over this one? Do I like that world, where I can do what I want without consequences, more than the real world (where sin has consequences, comes with bad feelings, leaves one empty; and where true happiness comes from being with God). I don't know if I'm over analyzing WAY too much, or what. I'm still worried about the same underlying issue from the last post: do I love sin more than God, and is the only thing keeping me from sinning, the only thing keeping me searching after God and desiring a change of heart or whatever, only because of the reality of punishment? I don't know why I go down these rabbit trails, or how they start, but they really make me begin to question my sanity, morality, the condition of my heart, and my salvation. This probably all sounds weird, but if anyone has anything to say on if this is still OCD, or if it's really starting to look like a heart issue, please let me know. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but it's bothering me, so I need to get it out there. Sorry if I said too much or if I trigger someone somehow, I don't want to do any harm. I probably sound crazy or insane in this post, probably cause I am. In case you couldn't tell, I have some issues/problems with a certain sin area. I think a better way to explain would be, if there was a button to make the real world like any of the imaginary worlds I listed above or similar, would I press it? I honestly have no idea why I'm beginning to have all these thoughts and random stuff, it all seems so weird. I honestly kind of hate myself a little more now, based on what this obsession is leading me to believe about myself. This will probably make no sense to anyone and I'll probably be the only one experiencing this, but oh well. Not much I can do. I'm tired of this crap.

You don't sound crazy. You sound like someone with OCD. And yes, you are way over-analyzing. That's what OCD makes you do. In fact, the specific term for what you are doing is "emotional checking." It's actually a kind of compulsion. You know what that means, right? It means it's something you need to make yourself NOT do, even if your OCD wants you to do it. You are absolutely right...the underlying issue remains the same. As you keep frantically looking for an "answer," for relief from this anxiety, your OCD cleverly keeps inventing new angles to try to convince you that your worst fears are true. And it will continue to do so...until you start saying "no." Keep refusing to do compulsions; keep refusing to mess with the new fears and thoughts that it sends to your mind. Resign yourself to the fact that you WILL FEEL ANXIOUS AND YUCKY FOR A WHILE. You CANNOT escape your obsessive fears by getting reassurance and feeling better. You can only overcome them by riding THROUGH the fear, by training your brain that you can live through the anxiety without trying to get relief. It sounds so counter-intuitive, but that's the way OCD works. Try it, even if just a little at a time. I'm praying you'll have wisdom and courage to keep standing up to OCD.

 

[NoahSK]

I honestly have no idea how I even begin thinking this deep. Random thoughts start popping in my head about hypothetical situations where I could choose sin over God without consequence, and I immediately assume I would choose the sin. Honestly, I think the main thing I'm wondering is if the only reason I even want to follow God is because I want to escape hell. That isn't love. But I can't bring myself to move past that. What if I do love sin more than God, and i only choose Him over sin so that I can get out of hell? I don't know. Thinking and saying all this makes me feel even more disgusting and horrible, and completely unworthy of God in any form. I wish I could love Him more than sin. I just don't know what to do.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Thinking and saying all this makes me feel even more disgusting and horrible, and completely unworthy of God in any form. I wish I could love Him more than sin. I just don't know what to do.

You probably do love Him far more and yet this is causing you not to feel so. Trust me, NoahSK, you are not only in feeling this way because of obsessive thoughts, feeling that God might hate you (that is a vicious lie) or that you have done or said something to make yourself unworthy of Him. And unfortunately, there is no magic cure. Please just hang in there, and keep clinging to the Lord no matter what thoughts intrude into your mind or how they cause you to feel.

 

[Mari17]

I honestly have no idea how I even begin thinking this deep. Random thoughts start popping in my head about hypothetical situations where I could choose sin over God without consequence, and I immediately assume I would choose the sin. Honestly, I think the main thing I'm wondering is if the only reason I even want to follow God is because I want to escape hell. That isn't love. But I can't bring myself to move past that. What if I do love sin more than God, and i only choose Him over sin so that I can get out of hell? I don't know. Thinking and saying all this makes me feel even more disgusting and horrible, and completely unworthy of God in any form. I wish I could love Him more than sin. I just don't know what to do.

OCD is great for creating hyper-analyzers!! And no, you are not disgusting and horrible; you're....wait for it....HUMAN. :O You're going to be OK, Noah. I agree with Sarah'sKnight. There is no magic cure, but there is a way to get better, and that's by continuing to ignore the temptation to ruminate (yes, that means analyzing too!) and doing your compulsions (these can also be mental, such as ruminating and emotional checking). Keep practicing this, and you will gradually get better.