spanking teenagers-does anyone believe in it any more?

[donboston50]

My son wants me to do it instead of grounding him. His logic is that it's over quickly, whereas grounding can go on and on. I explained that it would not be pleasant if I agreed.

 

[Chris V++]

How old is your son? And what did he do to warrant grounding or spanking?

 

[JackRT]

My son wants me to do it instead of grounding him.

In that case, ground him!

 

[donboston50]

I've been thinking of doing both just as my parents did with me (and it was not pleasant). I want to change his behavior. It worked with me.

 

[donboston50]

How old is your son? And what did he do to warrant grounding or spanking?

13 and a half. Consistently breaks curfew.

 

[Chris V++]

I've never heard of spanking a teenager before. It doesn't seem appropriate. Chores or grounding and taking away something fun like the x box or cell phone seems like it would be more effective.

 

[donboston50]

13 and a half. Consistently breaks curfew.

Grounding doesn't seem to do any good.

 

[Chris V++]

He can't break a curfew if he is not allowed out of the house. Does he have a computer or a game system? You could take that away.

 

[donboston50]

Grounding doesn't seem to do any good.

I told him I'd have an answer on Saturday and will either ground him for a longer period of time or I'll spank him. One or the other and maybe both, like my parents did.

 

[MotherFirefly]

I have come to understand that spanking doesn't teach a very deep lesson past the toddler years.
While I don't yet have experience raising a teenager, I find punishment doesn't mean much if your child doesn't learn why they should heed your rules in the process.

I recall being locked out of the house when I didn't make it home before others had gone to bed, and the first cold night stuck outside was a good reminder after that.

Prayers for you.

 

[Dave-W]

Yeah, spanking is ineffective after a certain age and it becomes just plain abusive. Totally inappropriate IMO for a teen, even a ten or eleven year old.

 

[Jeshu]

i strongly advise you to not give into the temptation to spank your teenage child to get them to obey you. Spanking creates more gaps between the child and the carer not less. Plus spanking can be used against you in court if your relationship with your child goes the wrong way in the end.

Spanking will not work in your favour, but teaches the wrong way to deal with conflict/difficulties in getting people to do your will. Having said this, if punish is due, then punish where it hurts but always do it with reason and with love and respect for the person being punished.

The best way to get your kids to follow the rules of the house is to make your children love and respect you as their parents. The more a child appreciates their carer the more willing the child will be to do what is right with the carer. An one to one spoken in loving reason will be much more powerful than punishment in my opinion. Work on cultivating love in your son's heart

 

[Sketcher]

Do what he wants the least.

 

[A Realist]

Speaking as a parent of two teenagers (who are now grown adults)......ground him. At his age, spanking is counterproductive.

 

[donboston50]

He says his best friend gets spanked and he wants to be treated the same way. although I think this 'best friend' is also his girlfriend. I'm going to try to talk to her parents to see what the story is. Wish me luck.

 

[donboston50]

He says his best friend gets spanked and he wants to be treated the same way. although I think this 'best friend' is also his girlfriend. I'm going to try to talk to her parents to see what the story is. Wish me luck.

I think locking him out is a good suggestion and alerting the local police I am doing this might produce a good result. We'll see...…...

 

[Chris V++]

I think locking him out is a good suggestion and alerting the local police I am doing this might produce a good result.

You are thinking of locking him out and calling the police on him to have him arrested? Not a good idea
You are going to ask his girlfriend's parents if they spank her as punishment?
Probably not a good idea either.

 

[Jeshu]

it is not about getting your son in trouble or locking him out but for him to learn to love and trust you also when you punish him.

Love his wrongdoing to death

 

[*LILAC]

13 and a half. Consistently breaks curfew.

He is still very much a minor and you, the parent, will be questioned if you call the police on him. I would seriously think about that before doing anything drastic.

 

[RoseCrystal]

My son is just turned 19, when he was in high-school and messed up I would ground him and take all his electrical items ALL of them, computer, phone, iPad, playstation, DS, everything, he was allowed to us the 'house' computer to do homework and that was it.

Worked a treat, no point grounding them to a room where they have everything!