Separate accounts - when marriage comes?

[Niels]

Three legally shared accounts. One primarily used by her, another primarily used by me, and the third for joint expenses like bills. We would then shuffle funds as necessary. The money would clearly be *ours*, but this would allow us to privately pay for gifts and whatnot.

 

[Paulie079]

Three legally shared accounts. One primarily used by her, another primarily used by me, and the third for joint expenses like bills. We would then shuffle funds as necessary. The money would clearly be *ours*, but this would allow us to privately pay for gifts and whatnot.

Much better said than the way I put it in my first post I need to read and re-read before I post haha.

 

[explodingboy]

I have around.. 4 accounts currently in my name (only use 2, if not only 1) other half has several..

but we've had a joint since we started dating that is by far the most used.

 

[Ariadne_GR]

Two separate accounts and one shared for stuff like mortgage, household needs etc.

 

[wholigan11]

I would have separate accounts. It's not right that someone makes the money, and then the other one goes and blows it.

My parents have separate bank accounts and it works fine for them.

 

[Rose of Eden]

I honestly wouldn't marry a man who's completely irresponsible financially. So if I were married, I would at least somewhat trust my husband and that trust would be enough to share accounts...at first. So I would share accounts and everything with my husband, unless at some point he proved himself unable to handle it, either by spending way too much on stupid, pointless things or by nagging at me and making me feel guilty for every little "feminine" purchase that he didn't truly necessary (such as nice makeup, a new pretty dress, or a pedicure once in a while.)

Three legally shared accounts. One primarily used by her, another primarily used by me, and the third for joint expenses like bills. We would then shuffle funds as necessary. The money would clearly be *ours*, but this would allow us to privately pay for gifts and whatnot.

I also really like this idea too!

 

[Saucy]

so you can nag him for those purchases but he cant nag you?

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I honestly wouldn't marry a man who's completely irresponsible financially. So if I were married, I would at least somewhat trust my husband and that trust would be enough to share accounts...at first. So I would share accounts and everything with my husband, unless at some point he proved himself unable to handle it, either by spending way too much on stupid, pointless things or by nagging at me and making me feel guilty for every little "feminine" purchase that he didn't truly necessary (such as nice makeup, a new pretty dress, or a pedicure once in a while.)

This.

 

[Rose of Eden]

so you can nag him for those purchases but he cant nag you?

HAHA! Nah, seriously, I wouldn't nag at him or even care at all unless the amount of money he was spending was completely ridiculous, or unless we honestly couldn't afford any extra expenses by either of us.

One of my ex-boyfriends was a ridiculous and selfish spender. His passion and hobby was movies and everything related to film. He also collected movies. This guy would spend anywhere between $100 and $300 on DVDs every single MONTH! He had the money to do so (though barely), but still, that's just a ridiculous amount to be spending every month on DVDs. And because he spent a majority of his income on his movies, any time it came to anyone's birthday, he went super cheap. That's why I said his spending habits were not only ridiculous, but selfish as well. He blew hundreds of dollars on himself every month, but when it came to anyone else, he went cheap and stingy. Ughh! I could never marry man like that!

 

[Saucy]

wow yeah thats a bit ridiculous.

 

[Girder of Loins]

One heart, one flesh, one bank account.

 

[SnowyMacie]

One heart, one flesh, one bank account.

haha. that reminded me of what my dad said at my sister's wedding when asked who is giving her away "her mother, I, and the bank".

 

[Mess]

Well, my fiance and I are going for a shared account. Sorry but if you don't even trust each other with the money you both earn, than how can you trust someone with the things that actually do matter? Personally I see the whole releasing your money and seeing it as the others money aswell part of the dating process. I don't see my money as something I use for my own wishes, it's in no small part something I use to take care of her. My money, as far as I can say it's my money, is for the purpose of helping her, and taking care of her anyway. I see a lot of people saying things like, why would the person that makes more money allow the other to waste it? Well here's the deal people, if you are so scared of your significant other wasting your money, my advice would be to see why you don't trust the other person. I also would suggest checking your heart, because where's the whole idea of taking care of each other gone? Also, why are you so stuck in the worship of money? Easy decision to make, my heart is hers, my body will be hers, and everything I own will be hers(practically already is).

 

[Rhye]

Well, my fiance .

Oh my goshesness.... congratulations Mess! So happy for you.

 

[elephunky]

*blind post*

I would personally go with seperate accounts!

 

[anewday]

Well, my fiance and I are going for a shared account. Sorry but if you don't even trust each other with the money you both earn, than how can you trust someone with the things that actually do matter? Personally I see the whole releasing your money and seeing it as the others money aswell part of the dating process. I don't see my money as something I use for my own wishes, it's in no small part something I use to take care of her. My money, as far as I can say it's my money, is for the purpose of helping her, and taking care of her anyway. I see a lot of people saying things like, why would the person that makes more money allow the other to waste it? Well here's the deal people, if you are so scared of your significant other wasting your money, my advice would be to see why you don't trust the other person. I also would suggest checking your heart, because where's the whole idea of taking care of each other gone? Also, why are you so stuck in the worship of money? Easy decision to make, my heart is hers, my body will be hers, and everything I own will be hers(practically already is).

Congrats! I love your attitude about your fiance and finances. I wish I knew all this and had this attitude at your age.

 

[Mess]

Oh my goshesness.... congratulations Mess! So happy for you.

Thanks Ethie, I'm really excited. Circumstances dictate we have to wait till next year to get married, but if it were op to us, we'd get married right now. So ready for this next step with her.

Congrats! I love your attitude about your fiance and finances. I wish I knew all this and had this attitude at your age.

Thanks newday. I really think it's a shame so many people are about me now a days, even when the other person involved is their significant other. Then again, I can't take any credit for it I suppose. God helped me put down the whole love for money thing.

 

[Keri]

Blind post. If you were talking about a typical "two people who both work and contribute equal percentages of their income" situation.

Four accounts.

One joint checking for income to contribute to paying rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc.
One joint savings for a percentage to go each month for long-term and short term savings (vacations, current/future children's education/necessities if that is in the plans, emergencies etc).
One single account for each partner where any remainder of their own income goes for personal spending and/or saving.

I am somewhat responsible with my money and very good at making sure needs are met first, money is saved second and then spending as needed and sometimes wanted.

I think it is important for both separate and joint accounts to exist. It's better than just one huge account where chaos in trying to keep track of joint purchases, single purchases, short term saving, long term saving that can cause a lot of issues.

With that said, it all depends on what works best for the two people involved. And that won't be known until the two have lived together for a while and things settle into what is best naturally.

 

[m.a.r.X]

A single joint account is not a great idea !! It just don't make any sense :shrug: