second virginity

[athespiangirl]

Well...to keep it simple, I lost my virginity when I was 15. And sometimes, when I'm vulnerable, I repeat the behavior. I'm a freshman in college now and I really miss being a virgin and having that purity. I really want to become pure again and save myself for my husband and have that peace again. I have heard about second virginity many times and I've done research about it online. So I have been considering a lot of options.
1. Going to a prayer/healing room
2. Getting baptized again
3. Getting a new purity ring after the two options above happen

What do you think?

 

[Everglaze]

Those are good options.

I mean, to be born-again, you are renewed anyway. Just don't follow in your past ways again and you should be fine.

 

[Los]

If you repent of your sins, you shall be saved. Your slate has been wiped clean. What you do with that new slate is totally up to you.

You will be vulnerable, you will fall into temptation, and you will sin. But being a virgin isn't just about being sexual abstinent, but its a commitment to Christ of your love for him, its a commitment to yourself that you want to save yourself for your husband, for the one person you love.

Trust in yourself; follow your heart. God will show you the way.

 

[Rafael]

You are already clean and without reproach if you have asked God for the cleansing that takes place when the blood of the lamb removes all our sins.

Isa 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

 

[Christ's Minister]

It's great that you believe in the concept of virginity but the problem is that you haven't accepted and applied it to your life yet because you keep engaging in intercourse.Of course you can keep asking God to forgive you everytime you sin but at some point God is likely to begin to feel you are a hypocrite.

The corrective steps you've come up with aren't nearly powerful enough to get you out of your problem.This is what Jesus' solution to your problem is:"If your right hand causes you sin,cut off your right hand."So now you just have to apply this to your life and figure out what needs to be cut out,most likely dating which has no biblical justification at all.Since you become easily tempted when you feel "vulnerable",you will benefit from personal counseling to remove those negitive feelings.

Instead of a prayer room,whatever that is,it's important to join a church with an active college age fellowship group and find someone in that group who can act as a mentor to you.Going through a second water baptism ceremony isn't important but praying to God for the baptism of the Holy Spirit which will,once it is given to you,bring you into a personal relationship with God,is really essential.Your idea of a purity ring also seems inadequate considering the severity of the problem.Here's a better idea,buy a large cross on a long chain to hang around your neck and wear it constantly.You need to develop the reputation as the campus Jesus girl so that perverted guys won't waste their time with you.The type of guys you've been dating are looking for someone "easy" that they can have sex with quickly and inexpensively.So it's going to be necessary to develop a whole new image for yourself.

 

[sweetmercy]

The corrective steps you've come up with aren't nearly powerful enough to get you out of your problem.This is what Jesus' solution to your problem is:"If your right hand causes you sin,cut off your right hand."So now you just have to apply this to your life and figure out what needs to be cut out,most likely dating which has no biblical justification at all.Since you become easily tempted when you feel "vulnerable",you will benefit from personal counseling to remove those negitive feelings.

Your idea of a purity ring also seems inadequate considering the severity of the problem.Here's a better idea,buy a large cross on a long chain to hang around your neck and wear it constantly.You need to develop the reputation as the campus Jesus girl so that perverted guys won't waste their time with you.The type of guys you've been dating are looking for someone "easy" that they can have sex with quickly and inexpensively.So it's going to be necessary to develop a whole new image for yourself.

Really, really great advice, Christ's Minister! I think these words were divinely spoken!
Jen

 

[Johnnz]

It's not aways easy to stop having sex once you begin. It takes courage, determination and a real comittment to following God's standards. It won't be a matter of religious rites. It will invlove dealing with emotions, thoughts and behaviours that keep you sexually active. There is no 'off switch', no magic wand, no supernatural "zap" that makes it happen for you.

But, it can be done. Your desire to change is genuine and a good start. Just don't expect an 'quick fix'.

Perhaps there are underlying personal issues - insecurity, lack of affection for example. PM me if you want to explore thsi aspect of repeated sexual activity.

John
NZ

 

[athespiangirl]

wow...thanks for all the advice. to explain more about the prayer room, its also called the healing room and you have a group of people pray over you. you dont even have to tell them what is going on, they are led by the holy spirit as they pray for you. my friend went and she had a really positive experience. also, i guess i feel like i should have a second baptisim is because i had it done when i was 14 and at that time, i dont think i was very serious about it, because i lost my virginity a year later, so i guess i want to do it again this time and have a full committed heart.

i really liked the idea about having a mentor. after finals (next week) im going to start going to the college service near my school and im thinking about joining one of the small groups.

thanks for all your help! please keep it coming! i love reading the responses and getting the support!

 

[forgivenmuch]

Honey .. No You Lost Your Virginity .. You Will Never Be A Pure And White Virgin. No Ring Or Prayer Will Ever Bring That Back. That Is False Hope ..
We Are All Born To A Sinful Nature .. And When We Sin .. We Reap What We Sow. Dont Be Discouraged.. You Are Going To Have To Accept That There Is No Way That You Could Ever Be A Virgin. When God Saves You He Cleanses You From All Sin. But Our Human Bodys Are The Same. We Are All Sinners .. And We All Sin .. So If You Think A Ring Will Take That Away.. You Are Very Wrong .. I Will Keep You In Prayer .. But Im Here To Give You The Truth.

 

[forgivenmuch]

No Ofeense Here .. But What Can A Ring Or A Cross Do? This Is Very Misleading. Lol If That Was So True .. I Would Be A Virgin Myself.. Time And Time Again. So You May Say.. Oh It Will Only Work One Time? Can You People Just Accept That You Have Sinned And You Cant Do Nothing About It But Ask God To Figive You? You Can Not Lose Your Virginity And Say A Ring And Prayer Will Bring It Back.. You Are Making God Into A Magic Show. That Is Not How God Is. That Is Material Things And Flesh Talking. If That Was So True ..we Would All Be Fleshly Virgins ... See What You Are Saying? Wake Up ... You Are Not Virgin you have said it your ownself .. people do this to make them feel better ..and when they go and tell thier soon to be husbands that they are .. then they are lieing .. not only to thier husbands/wifes .. but to themselfs and mostly to God!

 

[Sketcher]

You can't be a virgin again, but you can be 100% forgiven and you can live a clean life honoring to God. Find a good church/campus ministry with some good women in there who can support you and guide you according to the Bible. I'm going to emphasize women because same-sex support is generally further reaching than cross-gender support, without the pressure of male-female chemistry infecting the support. And in your case, since it is sexual, you definitely don't need to be put in an awkward situation with a guy.

 

[ukok]

You can renew your virginity spiritually, it is hard work, and you have to be prepared to resist occassions of sin, but it certainly can be achieved and it's rewards are far greater than any fleeting physical encounter might give.

Also, there is only one baptism that is necessary, being baptised twice is not going to 'cleanse you', if you have been previously baptised (Trinitarian formula)...otherwise people would be forever getting re-baptised every time they felt really sinful...totally uneccessary.

Repentence is key here, and a true committment to turn away from sexual sin and to pursue chastity and purity as a personal vow until you wed. You can offer the gift of your renewed purity to your future spouse, i am sure that he will respect and love you all the more for making the decision to refrain from non marital sexual activity..in other words...imagine that your future husband has a choice...he has a history with the ladies and has lost his virginity...would you prefer to learn that he made a committment to God that he would seek to renew his purity, and remain chaste, or wouldn't you mind if he continued to sleep around until he met you ?

I know which i'd prefer

God Bless.





God Bless.

 

[VivDaGurl]

Everybody has a second chance in their lives. Being a second viriginity wouldn't be having a new virgin fixed within yourself. However, it means that one should stay away from any sexual related issues by practicing abstinence. Submit your whole body to the Lord and ask Him to make you whole again.

 

[fishstix]

Well...to keep it simple, I lost my virginity when I was 15. And sometimes, when I'm vulnerable, I repeat the behavior. I'm a freshman in college now and I really miss being a virgin and having that purity. I really want to become pure again and save myself for my husband and have that peace again. I have heard about second virginity many times and I've done research about it online. So I have been considering a lot of options.
1. Going to a prayer/healing room
2. Getting baptized again
3. Getting a new purity ring after the two options above happen

What do you think?

Even though your virginity is gone, wanting to stay pure and save yourself for your husband from now on is awesome! To become pure again, you need to confess your sins to God and ask Him to forgive you. And to save yourself from now on, you'll have to make a real effort and keep asking God for help - none of us can fully resist sin without His help. Getting prayer and support from other Christians would certainly be a good idea.

Getting rebaptized is not necessary. Getting a purity ring is also not necessary, but if you think that it will help you to remember your commitment to God and your future husband then go ahead.

 

[Lyle]

1. Going to a prayer/healing room

This will not work. Your mistake was an eternal one, one that cannot be changed. It's like popping a bubble; once you pop it, it's gone. The thing is, when you were 15 you made a mistake, and now you must live with the backlash of that.. That's what sin does.. The best thing you can do from here on out is to look to God, and trust Him. Learning from your mistake so that you do not repeat it.. The truth is, you can never get back what you lost...

2. Getting baptized again

Baptizism is not a magical ticket to the forgiveness of sins. All it is is an outward picture of the inward dedication to Christ.

3. Getting a new purity ring after the two options above happen

You can do this, to show that you will abstain from here on out. But you can't get back your virginity......

 

[Melbelle]

Well I'm sorry but once you "Fornacate" Thats the way God see's it you will never be a virgin again, once the cherry is gone so is the purity you can always work at trying not to do it again but your no longer pure.

 

[//Gracie//]

Before I came to know the Lord, I was rather ... shall we say, promiscuous. It was an issue of insecurity -- I was looking for love, acceptance, security, and I hadn't yet realized that the only place I was going to find those things was with God.

Speaking from experience, it's going to be hard. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it won't. Having had sex before, I think that I struggle with lust more than I otherwise would. I have emotional baggage from past relationships, and from my past sexual sin, and that's something that I'll always have. I've confessed my sin and asked God's forgiveness, and I'm committed to purity until my wedding day -- but that's still something that affects my life and will continue to do so. One day, I'm going to have to tell my future husband that I didn't wait for him.
Basically what I'm saying is, it won't be easy, but it will be well worth the effort and hard work.

 

[Lyle]

your no longer pure.

Hold on, time out..
This in no way makes her so that she can no longer be 'pure.' It just means that she is no longer a virgin. Look into the Old Testiment if you will. The people were generally unclean until they washed themsleves. Once one has been washed in the blood they are made SPOTLESS before God. Before God, all Christians are made to be pure..

 

[fishstix]

Well I'm sorry but once you "Fornacate" Thats the way God see's it you will never be a virgin again, once the cherry is gone so is the purity you can always work at trying not to do it again but your no longer pure.

Virginity and purity are not the same thing. They often go together, and virginity usually indicates sexual purity but not always. It is possible to be a virgin and not be sexually pure and it is also possible to be a non-virgin and be sexually pure. Sin does remove our purity, but God offers forgiveness through Jesus. While forgiveness can't restore virginity, it can restore purity, something which many people like to think of as a 'secondary virginity'. And just because one's virginity is gone doesn't mean that they have nothing left - they can still decide to remain pure from that day onward, a much better choice than continuing to sin just because they've lost their virginity.

 

[athespiangirl]

I guess I confused people. I didn't mean getting back my physical virginity. I meant spiritually being a virgin and pure in God's eyes. Also, I was kinda forced to get baptized at the time, my heart was not i into it, so I want to do it again because I want to do it, not my family, not my friends...ME. And the purity ring thing, its supposed to be a reminder of my decision to abstain from sex till marriage.

And the healing room thing, that was a suggestion from my pastor so that I could get some support from Christians my age. Its something really powerful in my city and it has helped with physical damage and emotional baggage.

I hope that cleared some things up.