Masturbation: Need Help

[Seward14]

I tried over and over to quit, I prayed over and over to quit and the temptation keeps on grabbing me and pulling me down under. Then the depression comes after I do it I'm mad at myself. I'm ashamed I think GOD is going to punish me but I need to remember he is there to help me through my struggles and I really do hate doing it. I need help because I tried really hard to quit masturbating. I never ever used to do it ever............. I need help Please will someone help me I'm sick of this evil pulling me and killing me.

 

[ephesians4:2]

God loves you and will never give up on you.

I think you must think critically and examine the potential triggers that cause you to have these urges. What are you thinking? doing? etc etc etc

I cannot answer these questions only you can. But for example if you are addicted to pornography and that triggers the urge, then stop watching it. Regardless fill your time with constructive activities. Join a church, read scripture, pray, hang out with Christian friends, get involved in the community etc. Think about how this is potentially hurting your ability to be emotionally and physically intimate with your future wife.

You can overcome this, have confidence in God not yourself. You will keep succumbing to the temptations of the flesh without him. He is your Rock, lean on him. When you feel that urge, pray, rebuke the devil, doing something to keep your mind off of it.

In the end you are the one who acts on the urges. He will give you strength, you have to allow him to help you first.

1 Corinth 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

I hope this helps, God bless.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Like the person said above me:

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

There is always a way out of every temptation. I used to struggle with a lot of addictions myself, and I've talked about this a lot with people on here.

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

Your addiction is like an animal you keep feeding, that's what is keeping it alive. You need to starve it to death, show it no mercy.

Take heart, brother. I honestly believe you're already on the path to victory. Right now, it's really hard. Breaking any addiction is difficult. But the fact that you're beginning to share God's hatred for sin is a good sign. You want to quit, and that's the first step you have to take before you actually quit.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

Go with God

 

[mytel]

Pray everyday for God to give you the strength you need to avoid these things. We can never avoid being tempted, but we are also never tempted more than we can handle. We need to be willing to allow God to take control, nothing is impossible through Him. Remember, through Jesus our sins are paid in full.

 

[Gottservant]

Learn to shoot blanks.

Once you are cleaning your system of frustration out properly, you will find you have almost no desire to touch.

 

[OntheHorizon]

I tried over and over to quit, I prayed over and over to quit and the temptation keeps on grabbing me and pulling me down under. Then the depression comes after I do it I'm mad at myself. I'm ashamed I think GOD is going to punish me but I need to remember he is there to help me through my struggles and I really do hate doing it. I need help because I tried really hard to quit masturbating. I never ever used to do it ever............. I need help Please will someone help me I'm sick of this evil pulling me and killing me.

I just want to say that you are perfectly normal and just about every other Christian guy has dealt with this same thing. Subjects on touching yourself and lust are extremely typical for Christian men. Go to a Women's Seminar and they'll learn about Drama or holiness or purity or something... Go to a Men's Seminar and you just about always learn about Lust and everything that involves.

So don't feel like somethings wrong or that you're all messed up. Most men masterdate, most men touch, most men touch... most men touch. They do. I'm serious, most men touch.

You're not crazy.

Now... I am not speaking for God, Jesus or anyone else but Onthehorizon thinks you need to stop worrying about this and stop considering it a sin.

I don't think any of this matters unless you're committed to a woman and lust another one or unless your imagining doing something that would be a sin for you to actually do. Men are incredibly sexual things. You're not a freak, you're not bad, you're not a failure, you're just like almost every other man on the planet. I hope that comforts you.

If you do want to try and stop then my advise is to calm down, get some new hobbies, find new ways of working off stress like lifting weights, exercise, go to bed tired so you aren't all jittery and ready to go. Also know that your body changes as you grow older, when you're 25, 30, 35 things will be very different than they are now, it gets easier. If you think you've sinned then ask forgiveness and get up and move on, do not allow guilt to get a hold of you because it serves no good purpose, none.

You are completely and perfectly normal and do not under any circumstances allow anything you've done or that you've been told to make you feel like you're a bad person or a failure... that's horsecrap and it's a way to destroy people to keep them in line, it's just a way to destroy a persons self esteem so they never leave. God didn't come to make you feel like crap over your failures, just ask forgiveness, smile and move on. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING... can change that you are an awesome, outstanding, very good and valuable person.

 

[The Fire Rises]

I just want to say that you are perfectly normal and just about every other Christian guy has dealt with this same thing. Subjects on touching yourself and lust are extremely typical for Christian men. Go to a Women's Seminar and they'll learn about Drama or holiness or purity or something... Go to a Men's Seminar and you just about always learn about Lust and everything that involves.

So don't feel like somethings wrong or that you're all messed up. Most men masterdate, most men touch, most men touch... most men touch. They do. I'm serious, most men touch.

You're not crazy.

Now... I am not speaking for God, Jesus or anyone else but Onthehorizon thinks you need to stop worrying about this and stop considering it a sin.

I don't think any of this matters unless you're committed to a woman and lust another one or unless your imagining doing something that would be a sin for you to actually do. Men are incredibly sexual things. You're not a freak, you're not bad, you're not a failure, you're just like almost every other man on the planet. I hope that comforts you.

If you do want to try and stop then my advise is to calm down, get some new hobbies, find new ways of working off stress like lifting weights, exercise, go to bed tired so you aren't all jittery and ready to go. Also know that your body changes as you grow older, when you're 25, 30, 35 things will be very different than they are now, it gets easier. If you think you've sinned then ask forgiveness and get up and move on, do not allow guilt to get a hold of you because it serves no good purpose, none.

You are completely and perfectly normal and do not under any circumstances allow anything you've done or that you've been told to make you feel like you're a bad person or a failure... that's horsecrap and it's a way to destroy people to keep them in line, it's just a way to destroy a persons self esteem so they never leave. God didn't come to make you feel like crap over your failures, just ask forgiveness, smile and move on. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING... can change that you are an awesome, outstanding, very good and valuable person.

I agreed with everything you said except the bolded part. Masturbation in and of itself, may or may not be a sin. That's up for debate I suppose. But the the sinful/selfish thoughts that inevitably come with it, most certainly are. There shouldn't be any debate there.

God calls us to keep our thoughts and actions pure. You're absolutely right, the vast majority of men have probably done this at some point. And a lot of them have probably become addicted to it. But what is popular is not always right, and what is right is not always popular. I don't think it makes any sense to say, "Well, everyone else is doing it." Would this somehow be worse if he was the only man on earth who did this?

A ton of people at my school cheat on homework assignments; that doesn't make it right.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just saying that in my opinion, it's not a good idea to dismiss this as something we shouldn't worry about. I feel like this is something that always leads to sinful things such as sexually impure thoughts, pornography, lust, etc. Nothing good comes out of it.

However, this is obviously just my opinion so..

 

[paul1149]

I tried over and over to quit, I prayed over and over to quit and the temptation keeps on grabbing me and pulling me down under. Then the depression comes after I do it I'm mad at myself. I'm ashamed I think GOD is going to punish me but I need to remember he is there to help me through my struggles and I really do hate doing it. I need help because I tried really hard to quit masturbating. I never ever used to do it ever............. I need help Please will someone help me I'm sick of this evil pulling me and killing me.

Interesting that you never used to do it. It may be that you've fallen into a performance vertex. "The sting of sin is the law". If you place yourself under law you are going to fall into depression and fear when you can't perform, as it describes in Romans 7.

I would suggest meditating deeply on Romans 6.14, over and over again. Let the power of grace define who you are, so that if you fail it will not set off a chain reaction that will keep you down. In time you may find the bondage simply falling away from you. His power is perfected in our weakness, as long as our trust is completely in Him, and not in our ability to keep the letter of the law.

 

[OntheHorizon]

The Fire Rises

I appreciate you taking special care to note that these ideas are your own

I myself don't agree with you, I don't think these thoughts you mentioned are sinful. I think when Jesus said if you've lusted over a woman in your heart he was talking about married couples to begin with.

Jesus began his statement of lust being equal to adultery with a message about adultery itself which is something related to marriage. He said "Don't commit adultery"(obviously talking to and about married people) then he said "btw thinking about is the same thing" I think he was telling married folks to keep their minds in their pants too. But I think that just relates to married folks.

I too readily admit these are my very own ideas and opinions.

and no I wasn't using argumentum ad populum (the argument that what is popular with many people must be right). I was just trying to help him see he's not a nut, he's just like us.

 

[iambren]

Seward, the description of your life and spiritual struggles over masturbation are EXACTLY why Dr James Dobson came to the conclusion that masturbation is NOT a sin.

And I agree.

 

[aiki]

I tried over and over to quit, I prayed over and over to quit and the temptation keeps on grabbing me and pulling me down under. Then the depression comes after I do it I'm mad at myself. I'm ashamed I think GOD is going to punish me but I need to remember he is there to help me through my struggles and I really do hate doing it. I need help because I tried really hard to quit masturbating. I never ever used to do it ever............. I need help Please will someone help me I'm sick of this evil pulling me and killing me.

Look, masturbating is not a sin. Lusting after a woman in your heart is (if she is not your wife). If you want to make masturbating an evil thing, do it to porn, or with the image of a particular female in your mind. The act of releasing sexual pressure, however, is not itself evil any more than releasing the pressure of your bladder is an evil thing. In fact, masturbating is an effective way to keep yourself under control sexually. You'll not find a single verse in all of the Bible that states that masturbating is sinful. Not one. But you will find many verses that command you to keep your thoughts sexually pure and holy. It is possible to relieve pressure without having your mind filled with dirty thoughts. If you keep your thoughts sexually pure when you touch, you've got nothing to stress over.

Selah.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Look, masturbating is not a sin. Lusting after a woman in your heart is (if she is not your wife). If you want to make masturbating an evil thing, do it to porn, or with the image of a particular female in your mind. The act of releasing sexual pressure, however, is not itself evil any more than releasing the pressure of your bladder is an evil thing. In fact, masturbating is an effective way to keep yourself under control sexually. You'll not find a single verse in all of the Bible that states that masturbating is sinful. Not one. But you will find many verses that command you to keep your thoughts sexually pure and holy. It is possible to relieve pressure without having your mind filled with dirty thoughts. If you keep your thoughts sexually pure when you touch, you've got nothing to stress over.

I think it's safe to say that masturbation almost always involves sexual thoughts. All I'm saying is, while the act in and of itself may not be a sin, it is certainly a potential gateway to addicting sin (porn, lustful thoughts, etc). If you keep playing with fire, you're pretty likely to be burned sooner or later. So my philosophy is that it's better to be safe than sorry.

Ultimately, I simply don't believe this is something we can paint with a broad brush and say "This is never a sin for anyone". I think this is something that will always be between a man and God, what may work for one man, may not for another. We all know if someone is right or wrong for us, so we'll all be accountable at the end of the day.

 

[OntheHorizon]

Obviously, this will always be a point of contention.

All I'm saying is, I don't see how this can healthy at all. And I'm talking about spiritual health, not necessarily physical health.

It's between him and God. Every man ultimately knows if something is right or wrong I think, so we'll have no excuse at the end of the day. I don't think it's wise to go off the advice of experts or medical people and base these types of decisions on that.

But again: my opinion lol.

It's all good

But about Dr. James Dobson. He is one of the most respected Christian leaders of our time.

 

[The Fire Rises]

It's all good

But about Dr. James Dobson. He is one of the most respected Christian leaders of our time.

I've never heard of him personally but I'll take your word for it. I'm sure he's very wise and well versed on health issues.

But that doesn't mean we have to take his opinion as law and that it necessarily applies to every man. God has the final say on this, not Dr. Dobson.

 

[hedrick]

Seward, the description of your life and spiritual struggles over masturbation are EXACTLY why Dr James Dobson came to the conclusion that masturbation is NOT a sin.

And I agree.

I'm not sure he quote says it's not a sin. What he says is that it's debatable, and the guilt many people feel over it is worse than any sinfulness there might be. I actually think it's not, or much of the time isn't, but I care about getting sources right. http://www.christianforums.com/t2454589/#post20969396

 

[OntheHorizon]

I've never heard of him personally but I'll take your word for it. I'm sure he's very wise and well versed on health issues.

But that doesn't mean we have to take his opinion as law and that it necessarily applies to every man. God has the final say on this, not Dr. Dobson.

Well I wouldn't expect you to do any of those things, I was trying to tell you he isn't just another secular expert, he's a man of God, Christian leader, expert on Christian living and Christian Family issues. Ever heard of Focus on the Family? He used to be apart of that. Now you're free to like or dislike certain types of ministers I'm just saying he's not a secular doctor. It would be like me quoting Billy Graham and you responding with "well I don't always trust Dr's I just trust Jesus"

 

[aiki]

I think it's safe to say that masturbation almost always involves sexual thoughts.

Do you? Why is that? Are you extrapolating from your experience to every one else's? It could be that what is true of you in this regard is not necessarily true of everyone else.

All I'm saying is, while the act in and of itself may not be a sin, it is certainly a potential gateway to addicting sin (porn, lustful thoughts, etc).

Actually, it can be an effective preventative of involvement in these things! Releasing sexual pressure "cools the flames," so to speak, which makes the temptation of porn, etc., less enticing. Really, simply being male is a "potential gateway to addicting sexual sin."

If you keep playing with fire, you're pretty likely to be burned sooner or later. So my philosophy is that it's better to be safe than sorry.

And as far as it goes this is a very good philosophy. However, not all see masturbating as the "fire" you think it is. In fact, for many it is a way to put a damper on the fire.

Ultimately, I simply don't believe this is something we can paint with a broad brush and say "This is never a sin for anyone".

Well, the actual physical act of masturbating is not sinful - you admitted as much already. It is what is going on in your mind as you touch that is the problem. If one can avoid impure sexual fantasizing during masturbation, then the act really is not sinful.

I think this is something that will always be between a man and God, what may work for one man, may not for another. We all know if someone is right or wrong for us, so we'll all be accountable at the end of the day.

I suppose. Some may have a problem curtailing their thoughts during masturbation, some may not. I am saying only that masturbating without sinful thoughts is okay. Nothing more.

Selah.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Do you? Why is that? Are you extrapolating from your experience to every one else's? It could be that what is true of you in this regard is not necessarily true of everyone else.

No, I'm speaking from what I've heard from fellow Christian men, some in real life and some I've talked to on here. I guess I should have clarified.


And as far as it goes this is a very good philosophy. However, not all see masturbating as the "fire" you think it is. In fact, for many it is a way to put a damper on the fire.

Again, we'll have to agree to disagree. It's a matter of opinion.

I suppose. Some may have a problem curtailing their thoughts during masturbation, some may not. I am saying only that masturbating without sinful thoughts is okay. Nothing more.

This is all based on hypotheticals though. We don't know what goes on inside other men's heads, unless of course they actually tell us. So you don't know that they don't struggle with these thoughts anymore than I know they do struggle with them. That's why I'm saying this is should be judged on an individual basis. But I get the point you're making here.

Selah.

too lazy to write outside of quote lol

 

[Gottservant]

LEARN TO SHOOT BLANKS.

ONCE YOU ARE CLEANING FRUSTRATION OUT PROPERLY, you will find you have no major desire to touch.

 

[sunshine456]

I feel sorry for you, It is an addiction that is overwhelming. As others state you need to pray, but pray to GOD the heavenly father in the name of lord JESUS CHRIST to remove lust from your thoughts and life. It won't be easy and I would strongly advise you to pray for discernment of the genuine triggers that are causing you to begin the cycle.

You have to remove all the 'triggers' from your life that are illiciting the thoughts. If it's films, pictures, internet, books...anything that is creating a 'thought' that undermines freedom then you must remove them from sight, sound, or even smells.

Overtime you will build a resiliance towards your past thoughts and will inevitably reprogram your thoughts to look at it differently. Ideally as unhealthy and sinful.

You are regretful and sounds like you are not denying it, plus most importantly repentful....feeling bad for doing it. This is a sign that you are aware it isn't right.

Be hopeful and put your trust in GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST. remember to pray for removal of lust and possibly think about deliverence as an option.

Coincidently I have 'lord of the rings' on in the background while i'm typing and the scene where bilbo has to "let go" of the ring and walk away is great example of how difficult it can be and stressful to release ourselves from bondage. It is important to know that the hardest part of our lives is making the choice to do what is right, especially in the eyes of GOD our heavenly father instead of allowing those chains to keep us shackled to unhealthy mannerisms and the enemies designs.

"Fight the good fight, and stand and deliver!"

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>