Masturbation is a mortal sin.

[Epiphanygirl]

This is a struggle for women too....depending on how they were taught by peers and influences.

Although men are more common to admit it.

Won't we get hairy palm's too??

 

[PetertheRock]

I have to say this sin is my biggest downfall. One of my "favorite excuses" for this sin is I try to blame God by saying, "If God didn't want me to have to touch he would provide me with a wife." Of course I realize that this is the Devil speaking to me coming up with reasons to fall deeper into the trap of this sin and adding the sin of blaming God for your sins which is probably worse than the sin of masturbation.

It is something tough to overcome and the truth is the attitude of most of the guys I know is it's no big deal. The big thing I always here is "95% of all guys touch and 5% lie about it." I have tried to stop but I always fall back into the trap.

Darryl

 

[graysparrow]

My spiritual father tends not to guide you so much in terms of guilt but in terms of what's the psichological reason behind that. As if it is mortal or not, I think it is rarely mortal in the strict sense of the word because one is rarely completely free in this matter.

Anyway, trust me, this is a battle you can't win...

alone. Get a spiritual father, know yourself well and put you under the protection and care of the Holy Mother of the Church.

(I'm praying the rosary too much! )

Now serious, pray a lot, be ready for a few downfalls but go on and ahead. Let the Spirit do the work in you and never ever dispair.

Last but not least venial sins are serious matter...

 

[PetertheRock]

Thank you for that. One thing that helps is the fact that now I know I am not the only one struggling with this issue. It's nice that people can be so open about this here because it really will help my battle with this sin. Of course it's not my only sin but it's one of the big ones that I need to work on. The other big one is swearing and taking the Lord's name in vein. But that's another topic.

Darryl

 

[Jamme]

Being accountable sounds like a good idea.
If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you can talk about it and help each other when it becomes a struggle.

Or of course confession
But being a tough issue (as IP said) its one people will probably brush under the carpet.

 

[TheReasoner]

Being accountable sounds like a good idea.
If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you can talk about it and help each other when it becomes a struggle.

Or of course confession
But being a tough issue (as IP said) its one people will probably brush under the carpet.

I think talking in great detail about fondling your.... Hm. Privates with your girlfriend or boyfriend may lead to temptation. Not good. I think confession might be better. To a priest or someone you trust.

 

[Jamme]

I think talking in great detail about fondling your.... Hm. Privates with your girlfriend or boyfriend may lead to temptation. Not good. I think confession might be better. To a priest or someone you trust.

Good grief!

I wasn't implying that graphic description should be discussed! I mean the principle of the matter, being so personal, is one which could be shared with someone close to you - and hold each other accountable, use distraction techniques (like reading a book) together, etc.

 

[Amongst the Flock]

Masturbation is a desire of the flesh and it is meant to relieve testosterone and relieves stress. Lust is a big problem for new Christians who came out of sexualy immorality which is discussed in Romans 1:18-32. The problem with masturbation is that no one can do it with a clear mind. For a man as soon as you start the thought of a female will pop into your mind thus creating a fantasy and a sinful thought. When you think of a female in your mind it would be like the one commandment "Thall shall not covet". If we are fantasizing about someone else's wife or a fellow or non-believer it is just wrong. It is a hard habit to break.

It is hard to do this act when you know it is wrong. All sins are forgiven but we have to try to avoid sinning at will. I just pray now about it when the urge comes on. I know this post might be to graphic and I apologize to all the females.

John 8:44 The devil is the "Father of Lies" and he comes only to decieve.

James 4:7 Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee. When you get the urge it is because the devil or a demon knows it is wrong and if you continue to struggle with it, it can become a foothold which leads to a stronghold and then someone might move from masturbation to Physical contact.

Be careful everyone and Good luck in your daily walk with Christ Jesus.

 

[Irenaeus]

I would like to testify to the power our Lady has over my soul in obtaining from God for me the grace of chastity. Truly it is a gift.

One of my favorite literary illustrations of the capital vice of lust is that of C.S. Lewis' Great Divorce, where I bright angel meets a man with a lizard upon his shoulder that whispers suggestions into his ear. He listens and says no, but he is still enticed by it. The angel continually throughout the conversation says, "Can I kill it?" Eventually, after the man gets over trying to do the gradual method, he succumbs and the angel snaps the neck of the lizard, and flings it away. The man screams and falls as though dead.

The lizard then rises and morphs into a great white stallion, and the man rises from his swoon, saddles the horse, and rides off.

Lust is a sniveling, unclean, powerless and weak thing compared to the brightness, strength, power of chastity, that comes from God. I do not mean power in the sense of control, but power in the sense of God by giving us the grace of chastity (and other graces associated with the virtue of temperance) gives us more control over our natural faculties and passions so that we may in turn, progressively, submit them to God.

We are truly free by grace to do good. I always remember Augustine's words..."The wicked have told me of things that delight them, but not such as thy law, O Lord." By no means am I or any of us every not prone to fall, but I truly believe that the paths of the Lord are life, mercy, and truth. These often intersect with the cross, but it is no mistake that the Easterns call it frequently the "life-giving" cross.

For such a sensitive topic, I am happy that so many OBOBers are taking it so maturely.

The Rosary, frequent confession, and trust in God are cornerstones. But the grace of God is what is needed. Grace, grace grace....and it can only be received by humility. Sometimes by such an embarrassing fault, God humbles us; and as painful as it can be, I have to admit through experience that he wounds only to heal; or allows one to harm himself so that we may admit to our "Intime doctor," as Augustine called him, to our most intimate doctor, our wounds, that he may heal our souls.

And as with any sin, the ultimate doom is discouragement. It is what destroyed Judas. We must have faith and trust in God, and not in ourselves. He will lovingly conquer our souls.

 

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

Masturbation is a desire of the flesh and it is meant to relieve testosterone and relieves stress. Lust is a big problem for new Christians who came out of sexualy immorality which is discussed in Romans 1:18-32. The problem with masturbation is that no one can do it with a clear mind. For a man as soon as you start the thought of a female will pop into your mind thus creating a fantasy and a sinful thought. When you think of a female in your mind it would be like the one commandment "Thall shall not covet". If we are fantasizing about someone else's wife or a fellow or non-believer it is just wrong. It is a hard habit to break.

If I may fall in here...
I feel like I need to clarify somthing you said, ATF.

Even if done without any thought, as per the CCC, even just the act is wrong:
2352: "...Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose."

I don't believe it's "meant to relieve" anything....it's an intrinsiccally incorrect act.
It is taking something meant for the Covenant of Marriage out of it's context.

I do appologise if this sounds a bit harsh, but even the act itself is wrong....

 

[Irenaeus]

St. Joseph,

I think there are much better (and edifying) methods of "stress release."

Go take a walk or run, or read a book, or pray. Stress can be a factor in the free will, but it is not total.

 

[lonnienord]

I have to say this sin is my biggest downfall. One of my "favorite excuses" for this sin is I try to blame God by saying, "If God didn't want me to have to touch he would provide me with a wife." Of course I realize that this is the Devil speaking to me coming up with reasons to fall deeper into the trap of this sin and adding the sin of blaming God for your sins which is probably worse than the sin of masturbation.

It is something tough to overcome and the truth is the attitude of most of the guys I know is it's no big deal. The big thing I always here is "95% of all guys touch and 5% lie about it." I have tried to stop but I always fall back into the trap.

Darryl

i assume you've tried prayer and confession?

Anyone else out there have who have defeated this monster sin have any secrets on how to do it.

Personally i did what i consider a monster sin using the fact that i was in a state of sin anyway so i might as well do this.

Since then i've made a good confession and went cold turkey that was about 3 years ago and i've not masterbated again.

I used to give it up for lent which seems weird but since it was such a hard addiction that seemed like a big sacrifice for me. course i was only completely successful once several years before going cold turkey.

I am so glad to be free from that monster now!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Irenaeus]

lonnie,

As time goes on you don't even think of it.

 

[lonnienord]

yup that has been my experience!!

 

[lonnienord]

yup that has been my experience

 

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

St. Joseph,

I think there are much better (and edifying) methods of "stress release."

Go take a walk or run, or read a book, or pray. Stress can be a factor in the free will, but it is not total.

I agree 100%! That is why I had to clarify that

 

[Gwendolyn]

Irenaeus, you are wise beyond your years.

 

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

Anyone else out there have who have defeated this monster sin have any secrets on how to do it.

It's a really tough one because everyone is different in their motivations and their thoughts.

I have only joined this thread late, but here goes:

What worked for me, (a long road to be sure!) was a combination of things.

* Firstly, get a regular confessor. This was you will realise as you are about to sin that you will need to confess to the same person again!
* Also, as we pray in the prayer of contrition, we need to avoid all that leads us to sin...that means, changing TV channels when certain shows or even advertisements are on....installing NetNanny, or something similar on your PC. * At one stage I even hurt myself every time I looked at a woman....even if it is only an initial glance....just to get out of the habbit. I bit the skin on my knuckles really hard!
* Pray, Pray Pary.....I prayed to St. Joseph, Mary's most Chaste spouse for intercession....I also prayed to St. Joseph of Cupertino (my patron saint, incidentally) who suffered from temtations of the flesh for years and never gave in! Ask for God's Grace in fightint the temptations.
* Attention diversion. ALWAYS occupy your mind. If you are idle for too long a time, the thoughts come on their own...be alert and start doing something right away if you feel the temptations coming...
* Realise the consequences of your actions.....Realise that firstly you are hurting and disappointing God....he can see everything! What if all the saints can see everything too?!! That one got me! But you are doing real damage

Good luck guys! [EDIT: May the Lord give you His Grace guys!] It IS possible!

Peace in Christ.!

 

[Jamme]

Keep at least 2 good books by your bed - one spiritual, and one good novel.

If your boyfriend / girlfriend lapses and threatens to take you with them, you have to be extra-stringent. A friend recently recommended keeping a water pistol close at hand.

 

[Irenaeus]

Why good luck? Try grace.