Is it unbliblical for a Christian man to be attracted to androgynous women?

[Truth7t7]

Actually, my church's also pretty conservative too.

Direct Questions?

1.) Does your church allow practicing homosexuals into membership?

2.) Does your church allow same sex married couples into membership?

 

[TheRisingSun]

Direct Questions?

1.) Does your church allow practicing homosexuals into membership?

2.) Does your church allow same sex married couples into membership?

No and no.

 

[Truth7t7]

No and no.

Thanks for the response

 

[TheRisingSun]

@bèlla , you're a bit more mature than me spiritually. What are your thoughts?

Because I'm starting to think I'm not so abnormal after all.

 

[seeking.IAM]

In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy.... I ain't that crazy about femininity.

I would not sweat it. I'm an old guy, happily married for more than a few decades now. When I was a young fellow in the dating market, I was attracted to plain women...natural women without make-up and long polished nails. It was a preference but they were still women. The downside was that once or twice it put me in the unknowing situation of having someone I fancied be more interested in women than me. But, you don't know the end of your story. In my case despite what I liked, I ended up with a make-up wearing woman who likes getting her nails done. Go figure.

At the end of the day, there are things more important than appearances.

 

[TheRisingSun]

It didn't bother me that you like masculine women. I also like masculine women to some degree (to me it's more towards the character than the appearance).

What bothers me concerns your past posts is you prefer being feminine yourself and don't like doing masculine things as a man while at the same time attracted to masculine women.

Most women also prefer being feminine themselves and is attracted to masculine men (before social media forced fed us the idea that masculinity is toxic/evil).

You're leaning way too far towards the female side as a male. And that can be become an issue if you don't control your fantasies.

And knowing you, your advice for me is to become more masculine.

 

[timewerx]

And knowing you, your advice for me is to become more masculine.

I only used the words "masculine" and "feminine" to help explain what I mean but "masculinity" and "femininity" does not exist under the New Covenant of Jesus Christ. Women are required of the same things from men, except to be leaders (however, this could depend on the context and there are circumstances that women can be leaders as well).

I observed that you're looking for a "super" or "action-hero" type of women but the thing is, Jesus also looks for the same qualities of all His followers (John 14:12). Both male and female.

You need to grow in character with the Holy Spirit and become the person you're looking for. Even if you think you can't, pray for help and try your best.

 

[com7fy8]

Seek what is beautiful to God.

 

[TheRisingSun]

Absolutely, yes. In my church, and in the churches around me, some of the Christians in the congregations fit the traditional gender stereotypes and some don't. Most have found a partner or spouse who loves them the way they are.

You may be experiencing a narrow range of Christians at your church. That is, if your church is complementarian and/or preaches that conformity to traditional gender roles and gender presentations is important, then egalitarian and gender-nonconforming women probably leave your church to find a different one -- and, thus, you don't see them, because they're not in your church. So that may give you the impression that gender-nonconforming Christians are unusual.

So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

 

[PloverWing]

So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

Let me answer the question from the other direction: I know gender-nonconforming Christian women who have found male romantic partners who value them and make them happy. You could be that kind of romantic partner to someone.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

..... I could be wrong, but I think most guys back in the 1980's recognized that 'Private Vasquez' had it going on, and that was a decade before G.I. Jane even came along.

You can just drop this concern you're having, really. It's practically inconsequential.

No one here who is sane is going to misconstrue Aliens 2 with The Crying Game.

 

[Johan2222]

Matthew 5:28-30 NKJV
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [29] If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. [30] And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Matthew 6:22-23 ASV
The lamp of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. [23] But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is the darkness!

 

[Jo555]

So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.


In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version


Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.


I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.View attachment 360266 View attachment 360267View attachment 360268


I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.


And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me. View attachment 360270
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)

For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.View attachment 360269


I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.



I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

I think you are complicating matters.

Sin is going at life apart from God. It is partaking of the knowledge of good and evil and becoming our own gods. It is a perversion of God's love in the form of lust.

It is putting self at the center of our world, instead of God.

I personally don't see your attraction for a strong woman with short hair that has the characteristics of a male as wrong of itself. If it crosses the line into self-centeredness, it will reap fruits of death instead of life.

Don't complicate matters. The heart of the matter is always the matter of the heart.