Is it unbliblical for a Christian man to be attracted to androgynous women?

[TheRisingSun]

So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.


In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version


Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.


I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.


I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.


And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me.

(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)

For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.


I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.



I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Reminds me of what Romans said about the first people who had same sex attraction, it was basically a maturation of the sin.

In general, the perverted nature becomes so perverted that the boundaries become less clear.

That's what the reaction I read in the OP looks like.

Christian advice: Pray, find people around you pray with you.

 

[TheRisingSun]

Reminds me of what Romans said about the first people who had same sex attraction, it was basically a maturation of the sin.

In general, the perverted nature becomes so perverted that the boundaries become less clear.

That's what the reaction I read in the OP looks like.

Christian advice: Pray, find people around you pray with you.

What boundaries do you mean?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

What boundaries do you mean?

(boundaries) When you are born, you grow up and notice certain people look attractive, members of the opposite sex.

What sin on a creation level does is blur boundaries hardwired into our genetics.

eventually sin will affect creation so bad that God needs to incinerate it all.

 

[TheRisingSun]

(boundaries) When you are born, you grow up and notice certain people look attractive, members of the opposite sex.

What sin on a creation level does is blur boundaries hardwired into our genetics.

eventually sin will affect creation so bad that God needs to incinerate it all.

So you're saying my physical attraction to androgynous (or just boyish) women is due to sin?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

So you're saying my physical attraction to androgynous (or just boyish) women is due to sin?

No.

I was addressing the panic in your original post. (seemed to be the most pressing issue)

In general, most of what we encounter that is "not of faith" is sin.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

It is not a sin for a man to be attracted to a woman.

 

[TheRisingSun]

No.

I was addressing the panic in your original post. (seemed to be the most pressing issue)

In general, most of what we encounter that is "not of faith" is sin.

To be fair, do you know any other Christian guys with preferences like this? I panicked because I felt so abnormal compared to so many Christian men and boys on X.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

To be fair, do you know any other Christian guys with preferences like this? I panicked because I felt so abnormal compared to so many Christian men and boys on X.

Different role models during childhood tends to assist setting the preference, but not the only factor. Go study psychology if you're interested.

Is the type most Christian guys look for something the media made up?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.


In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version


Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.


I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.View attachment 360266 View attachment 360267View attachment 360268


I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.


And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me. View attachment 360270
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)

For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.View attachment 360269


I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.



I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

If you're a man and she's a woman, I don't see the problem.

There's not much to say about it. Fall in love. Get married. Have kids. Find peace!

 

[PloverWing]

I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

My children are your age, so that probably qualifies as "mature".

If you're a man and she's a woman, then it's not gay. Everybody has a "type" that they like -- they're attracted to people who are tall, or short, or have red hair, or a gentle voice, or whatever. So, you have a "type" too. It's fine. You're fine.

Sexual/romantic attraction is nature's way of keeping the species going. Merely being attracted to someone isn't lust. If it crosses over into prolonged fantasies about them without their consent and without caring about them as a whole person, then it starts to be lust. Next time you're attracted to someone as you've described, go ahead and talk to her. Ask her to lunch, or ask her on a date. Sure, maybe she'll say she already has a partner, or that she's not into guys, but maybe she'll say she's straight and single and likes you back. Talk to her and get to know her.

My extra bit of advice is about this:

I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.

It sounds like your time on X is making you feel bad about yourself. So stop. Not forever, but for a while. Last year, I realized that my interactions with social media were taking a lot of time and were making me feel bad, so I stopped interacting with social media for the six weeks of Lent (the time between Ash Wednesday and Easter). I think I'm going to do it again this year. It's actually quite calming and rejuvenating.

You're nondenominational, so you probably don't observe Lent, but pick a month or two and try fasting from X for that time. Maybe February -- no X during February. See if it helps you feel better about yourself.


I can see from your posts that this has been bothering you for a while. I hope you find peace with yourself, and I hope you find love.

 

[TheRisingSun]

If you're a man and she's a woman, I don't see the problem.

There's not much to say about it. Fall in love. Get married. Have kids. Find peace!

Well, the problem was that my attraction to androgyny is--at least to my knowledge--extremely uncommon among Christian men. So I felt that it was problematic. Especially since a lot of Christians are complementarian--I'm egalitarian.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Well, the problem was that my attraction to androgyny is--at least to my knowledge--extremely uncommon among Christian men. So I felt that it was problematic. Especially since a lot of Christians are complementarian--I'm egalitarian.

It doesn't matter, really. If you're a biological male and she's a biological woman, regardless, then it's "ok." Don't worry about it.

If you find someone whom you want to date, then by all means ask her out.

 

[TheRisingSun]

My children are your age, so that probably qualifies as "mature".

If you're a man and she's a woman, then it's not gay. Everybody has a "type" that they like -- they're attracted to people who are tall, or short, or have red hair, or a gentle voice, or whatever. So, you have a "type" too. It's fine. You're fine.

Sexual/romantic attraction is nature's way of keeping the species going. Merely being attracted to someone isn't lust. If it crosses over into prolonged fantasies about them without their consent and without caring about them as a whole person, then it starts to be lust. Next time you're attracted to someone as you've described, go ahead and talk to her. Ask her to lunch, or ask her on a date. Sure, maybe she'll say she already has a partner, or that she's not into guys, but maybe she'll say she's straight and single and likes you back. Talk to her and get to know her.

My extra bit of advice is about this:



It sounds like your time on X is making you feel bad about yourself. So stop. Not forever, but for a while. Last year, I realized that my interactions with social media were taking a lot of time and were making me feel bad, so I stopped interacting with social media for the six weeks of Lent (the time between Ash Wednesday and Easter). I think I'm going to do it again this year. It's actually quite calming and rejuvenating.

You're nondenominational, so you probably don't observe Lent, but pick a month or two and try fasting from X for that time. Maybe February -- no X during February. See if it helps you feel better about yourself.


I can see from your posts that this has been bothering you for a while. I hope you find peace with yourself, and I hope you find love.

I understand. I assume you've met other Christians with types that are "abnormal" or gender non-conforming, physical or otherwise.

 

[PloverWing]

I assume you've met other Christians with types that are "abnormal" or gender non-conforming, physical or otherwise.

Absolutely, yes. In my church, and in the churches around me, some of the Christians in the congregations fit the traditional gender stereotypes and some don't. Most have found a partner or spouse who loves them the way they are.

You may be experiencing a narrow range of Christians at your church. That is, if your church is complementarian and/or preaches that conformity to traditional gender roles and gender presentations is important, then egalitarian and gender-nonconforming women probably leave your church to find a different one -- and, thus, you don't see them, because they're not in your church. So that may give you the impression that gender-nonconforming Christians are unusual.

 

[TheRisingSun]

Absolutely, yes. In my church, and in the churches around me, some of the Christians in the congregations fit the traditional gender stereotypes and some don't. Most have found a partner or spouse who loves them the way they are.

You may be experiencing a narrow range of Christians at your church. That is, if your church is complementarian and/or preaches that conformity to traditional gender roles and gender presentations is important, then egalitarian and gender-nonconforming women probably leave your church to find a different one -- and, thus, you don't see them, because they're not in your church. So that may give you the impression that gender-nonconforming Christians are unusual.

My church is actually egalitarian.

 

[Truth7t7]

Well, the problem was that my attraction to androgyny is--at least to my knowledge--extremely uncommon among Christian men. So I felt that it was problematic. Especially since a lot of Christians are complementarian--I'm egalitarian.

Nothing wrong having a girl that's stronger than you, knows how to bait a hook, run the boat, drive the tractor in the field, work on the truck, and can throw bales of hay

I think the line is drawn when she can grow a mustache and beard thicker than yours, smiles!

 

[Truth7t7]

My church is actually egalitarian.

Sounds like a place that would allow practicing homosexuals and same sex marriage into "membership"?

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition

egalitarian/ĭ-găl″ĭ-târ′ē-ən/

adjective​

1. Affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people.
2. Characterized by social equality and equal rights for all people.
3. Favoring social equality.

 

[timewerx]

In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

It didn't bother me that you like masculine women. I also like masculine women to some degree (to me it's more towards the character than the appearance).

What bothers me concerns your past posts is you prefer being feminine yourself and don't like doing masculine things as a man while at the same time attracted to masculine women.

Most women also prefer being feminine themselves and is attracted to masculine men (before social media forced fed us the idea that masculinity is toxic/evil).

You're leaning way too far towards the female side as a male. And that can be become an issue if you don't control your fantasies.

 

[TheRisingSun]

Sounds like a place that would allow practicing homosexuals and same sex marriage into "membership"?

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition

egalitarian/ĭ-găl″ĭ-târ′ē-ən/

adjective​

1. Affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people.
2. Characterized by social equality and equal rights for all people.
3. Favoring social equality.

Actually, my church's also pretty conservative too.