Wife of bipolar husband needs support and advice

[DeAnn0408]

I just need to share and talk with others who may have gone through the same thing I am.

My husband is bi-polar and refuses to get help. He is a self medicator. We almost separated last year. He was staying out all the time, was down right mean to me and who knows what else. He decided he didn't love me any more, said some really really hurtful things.I had found my peace with God on the situtation and was ready to let him go as he wanted. I was so afraid of being alone but God took over and gave me strength. It was an aweful time but as I said I found my peace. Well, he decided he didn't want to leave and wanted to work things out. We had a long talk and some changes were made. He no longer went out every night, he started going back to church, he found a new job and we began repairing our relationship. The months that followed were some of the best we had.

I thought things were going well but the lies have started back up. He expects so much of me and my kids...we feel like we can't live up to his standards. It would take days to write everything. I don't know what to do. I feel so broken right now. I know with out meds he won't ever change. He is such a maniuplator...even whe I know he is in the wrong he turns it around on me and succeeds in making me feel guilty and apologizing. I am struggling with being mad at myself for being so weak....

Please does anyone have any advice??? And most of all prayers please pray

 

[Lorian]

Hi DeAnne,

It does make it easier as a spouse to notice when your husband is not healthy. I am so glad that you are nearby and willing to bear with him through this situation. I hope for positive results to this matter.

Perhaps there may be some type of physical problems as well, so please keep hoping for him to visit his PCP. I hope that your husband will soon be willing to take account of his issues, too. Until then, you may decide to look for other support, such as extended family support, or your church family and clergy, and community service resources may be available (please check with your local Community Health Center for useful ideas). I expect that he may be more inclined to see a doctor for evaluation as he can better understand his mental challenges, so getting these others involved will help.

Another good idea is that you focus on a clear strategy that combines the ideas of improvement for his personal health concerns and the resourceful needs of you and your family as a whole. Are you thinking of seeking some type of psychological therapy for yourself as well? It will help. This way you may broaden your personal understanding of what is going on with your husband, assuming that he really is experiencing bipolar disorder, in which purpose he really does need a proper medical diagnosis by a skilled professional psychiatrist or mental health therapist.

I know that you have lots of important questions; I really hope that you target all that you need to know, and keep this in your heart that God will guide you daily to added strength and energy that you may cope during this trial; however do consider your own emotional and spiritual health needs too. Pray often and I am praying for your husband’s relief as well.

 

[RuthD]

I am sorry you are struggling with this situation so much. The only thing I can think of is for you and him to go to your pastor for counseling or go to a Marriage counselor. I know what it is like, I was married to a similar acting man at one time. I am praying for the two of you.

 

[quedley]

I think you need to leave him. Say to him I am leaving you until you change and start taking your meds again. Its not good for you or your children to go through this. For years I went through the same and its not worth it. The verbal abuse and lies are not good. I understand completely what you are going through.
I am still with my husband but believe me I wish I had left him years ago. He does not verbal abuse me any more but he will still lie and tell me one thing which I believe and then an hour later change it to something else. I have kids with mental illnesses at home so have to stay for their sake but believe me if it was not for them I would not be here.
Do you have some where to go. Will he leave if you ask him to.

 

[jander8629]

I know this is an old post, but I am currently going through the exact same situation. My husband refuses to believe he has a problem though. How is your situation going currently?

 

[SarahSmile1980]

i am currently going through the same thing. I would like to hear from other wives of bipolar spouses on how they deal with the ups and downs. I think there shoulf be a spouses of bipolars support group. Please message me if you are going through this. I would love to connect and creat support

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Please does anyone have any advice???

Realizing you're long gone,
as you said he is self-medicating,
the safest helps in that regard , verified by competent medical professionals and , relates to nutrition (as almost always).

Search out pellagra, niacin, B vitamins, and other such nutrients that can be a big help, even in long time and severe cases.

Around 1950 that direction of care and recovery fell out of favor due to the much lower profit there-of (and ONLY for that reason).

When it helps, which is most of the time as far as everyone has reported in the last century, who did it,
it is very inexpensive, very low cost, and no negative side effects including no withdrawal symptoms and no increase in bad tendencies emotionally or physically or socially.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

Realizing you're long gone,
as you said he is self-medicating,
the safest helps in that regard , verified by competent medical professionals and , relates to nutrition (as almost always).

Search out pellagra, niacin, B vitamins, and other such nutrients that can be a big help, even in long time and severe cases.

Around 1950 that direction of care and recovery fell out of favor due to the much lower profit there-of (and ONLY for that reason).

When it helps, which is most of the time as far as everyone has reported in the last century, who did it,
it is very inexpensive, very low cost, and no negative side effects including no withdrawal symptoms and no increase in bad tendencies emotionally or physically or socially.

I watched a documentary on how in the early 1900's people were curing cancer through diet and natural medicines. The major drug companies shut this done with help from the goverment because it was not profiting them. This was intetsesting to me because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the time. She is now cancer free ftom surgery and radition. But i would like to research this more for bipolar. I think. God has provided us natural ways to stay healthy.

 

[cnbooker86]

i am currently going through the same thing. I would like to hear from other wives of bipolar spouses on how they deal with the ups and downs. I think there shoulf be a spouses of bipolars support group. Please message me if you are going through this. I would love to connect and creat support

SarahSmile1980,

This is really old, but I'm here for the same reason as well. At this point, I'm starting to feel like an expert!

 

[ChicanaRose]

Please does anyone have any advice??? And most of all prayers please pray

Yes, definitely prayers. You may need to separate from him to demonstrate to him that you are serious. Sometimes it takes that much for someone to get a wake-up call. But don't proceed without first praying and receiving guidance from your pastor.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I watched a documentary on how in the early 1900's people were curing cancer through diet and natural medicines. The major drug companies shut this done with help from the goverment because it was not profiting them. This was intetsesting to me because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the time. She is now cancer free ftom surgery and radition. But i would like to research this more for bipolar. I think. God has provided us natural ways to stay healthy.

Yes, it is 'simple truth' and comparatively easy most of the time IF someone who knows the correct tests to do, thus the 'hunt' for a reliable, honest, faithful to God, tester.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I know this is an old post, but I am currently going through the exact same situation. My husband refuses to believe he has a problem though. How is your situation going currently?

DeAnn0408
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[SANTOSO]

I just need to share and talk with others who may have gone through the same thing I am.

My husband is bi-polar and refuses to get help. He is a self medicator. We almost separated last year. He was staying out all the time, was down right mean to me and who knows what else. He decided he didn't love me any more, said some really really hurtful things.I had found my peace with God on the situtation and was ready to let him go as he wanted. I was so afraid of being alone but God took over and gave me strength. It was an aweful time but as I said I found my peace. Well, he decided he didn't want to leave and wanted to work things out. We had a long talk and some changes were made. He no longer went out every night, he started going back to church, he found a new job and we began repairing our relationship. The months that followed were some of the best we had.

I thought things were going well but the lies have started back up. He expects so much of me and my kids...we feel like we can't live up to his standards. It would take days to write everything. I don't know what to do. I feel so broken right now. I know with out meds he won't ever change. He is such a maniuplator...even whe I know he is in the wrong he turns it around on me and succeeds in making me feel guilty and apologizing. I am struggling with being mad at myself for being so weak....

Please does anyone have any advice??? And most of all prayers please pray

Hello ...
I admit that I may not have gone through similar experience ; I have a father who may had bipolar ; have 2 side personalities that he used for his own benefit; can be said manipulative. I understand the grief, horror, pains and the disturbing thoughts and feelings; this was a great trial for me but God delivered me. I am glad that I have taken refuge in Him.

Let share this prayer which countless times I have prayed in the trial and helps me much:

Lord Jesus,
I bless the person who accuse me, hurt me, disappoint me, upset me, mistreat me, resent me, reject me, and abandon me.

I may have been accused, hurt, disappointed, upset, mistreated,hated, and rejected, abandoned
but now I release forgiveness to those who hurt me, disappoint me, upset me, mistreat me, resent me,reject me and abandoned.

I bless the persons who accuse, hurt, disappointed, upset, mistreated,hated, rejected me, abandoned me.

I thank you Father in Heaven.
When I bless them, I got blessings coming my way.
I am inheriting blessings today or tonight.
In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

In my sorrow and agony, I also have prayed this:

Lord Jesus Christ, my Shepherd.
I bless the circumstances that bring grief and sorrow into my heart. I bless it. I receive the peace of Jesus Christ and the inheritance blessings— that is coming to me; from blessing it.
In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

I knew I was going severe trials but I did not have wisdom and understanding; I keep asking God to give that I may see and understand this sufferings.

When I have learned to humble myself daily by being obedience to forgive those who offend me daily, God grant me the strength to release forgiveness.

When I have forgiven, God forgives me and made alive. He gives this new life and He told me to walk in this newness of life. He told me to believe that my old self has gone, and I have to put on my new self.

Eventually, I understand to walk in this newness of life and put on the new self, that is, I need to set my mind on the things of the Spirit; that is, I have to meditate God’s words.

When I keep meditating God’s words, I replace my old thoughts with this new thoughts about God’s words until I fill all my thoughts with His words; Then I begin to understand the Lord’s mind and find this knowledge of the Holy One.

My thoughts patterns have changed. I gain God’s strength to resist disturbing thoughts from the enemy. I begin to understand that my father’s thoughts are influenced by the enemy.

I begin to claim the authority that the Lord has given believers. I begin to make spiritual warfare prayer. For prayer of faith can move the hand of God against the enemy. Prayer of faith, we can intercede on behalf of the offender, that they may return to God, healed and saved.

During the severe trial, this I believe and hold fast :

for the LORD my God is He who goes with me to fight for me against my enemies, to give me the victory.' -Deuteronomy 20:4

This also pray on behalf on my father:

The blood of the Lamb of God redeem my father from the power of the enemies and set him completely free. Amen

The blood of the Lamb of God redeem my father from infirmities and diseases and set him completely free. Amen

This I pray daily; for I come to know that we must fight the good fight of faith against the enemy.

Remember that the Lord can give us this victory.
In His righteousness, the Lord can rescue us , save us, and bring us out of distresses and turn to us and show His steadfast love.