Why

[rGarrett]

My whole childhood is the base of my problems I face now.
My father abused me my whole life until I was fifteen and left.
But he just denies everything, my whole family does even though he has a charge with child abuse.
I don't know, I have so many problems because of this mentally; SAD(Severe anxiety disorder), depression, DPTSD(dreams), drugs etc.
I have been trying so hard to have a good relationship with him but it just won't work and I do not know what to do.

 

[brinny]

My whole childhood is the base of my problems I face now.
My father abused me my whole life until I was fifteen and left.
But he just denies everything, my whole family does even though he has a charge with child abuse.
I don't know, I have so many problems because of this mentally; SAD(Severe anxiety disorder), depression, DPTSD(dreams), drugs etc.
I have been trying so hard to have a good relationship with him but it just won't work and I do not know what to do.

i'm sooooo sorry, Garrett. It seems your dad is unable to be at the place where he acknowledges hurting you. How excruciatingly painful that is.

What comes to mind is how you have inexplicably survived so much. There's usually a reason for that, that may not be understood or "seen" yet. Hang in there.

Praying for you (((hug)))

 

[rGarrett]

i'm sooooo sorry, Garrett. It seems your dad is unable to be at the place where he acknowledges hurting you. How excruciatingly painful that is.

What comes to mind is how you have inexplicably survived so much. There's usually a reason for that, that may not be understood or "seen" yet. Hang in there.

Praying for you (((hug)))

I just don't know how to get through it at all, I snapped this morning and honestly, just want to die.

 

[SkyWriting]

My whole childhood is the base of my problems I face now. My father abused me my whole life until I was fifteen and left. But he just denies everything, my whole family does even though he has a charge with child abuse. I don't know, I have so many problems because of this mentally; SAD(Severe anxiety disorder), depression, DPTSD(dreams), drugs etc. I have been trying so hard to have a good relationship with him but it just won't work and I do not know what to do.

He is your dad and you will always wish things to be fixed.
But until he repents (changes his view on what he did) you
will never have a working relationship with him.

There are many things you can do with your life, but
fix your dad is not one of them.
I would choose not to see him again unless he begs
you to return, perhaps from overseas. Even then, I'd wait.

 

[brinny]

I just don't know how to get through it at all, I snapped this morning and honestly, just want to die.

It happens. Stuff happens. What matters is what we do AFTER "snapping". NONE of us are perfect. NONE. And when we stumble, slip, or "mess up", we do exactly what David in the Old Testament did. Know what that was? He TOOK it all to God, acknowledged what he did, and sought forgiveness and was given it. God is BIGGER than all of our "mess ups". His grace supersedes all the condemnation the enemy wants to drag you down into.

Praying, Garrett. Hang in there (((hug)))

 

[rGarrett]

I just am done trying to establish anything within my family, I can't handle it either way but I just feel numb now. I wish I could say that I am going to the Lord with this but I can't even think about it without freaking out physically and mentally, so I am at a stand still with everything.
I just hate feeling this way.

 

[brinny]

I just am done trying to establish anything within my family, I can't handle it either way but I just feel numb now. I wish I could say that I am going to the Lord with this but I can't even think about it without freaking out physically and mentally, so I am at a stand still with everything.
I just hate feeling this way.

The numbness, etc. is a "coping" mechanism that kicks in.

God's grace is BIGGER than all of it. The fact that you posted here is a GOOD thing. God is working even through that. He already started mooooving before you posted.

We are here to pray for, encourage, and support one another, and to "stand-in" for each other, and pray on each other's behalf, such as now.

KNOW that, in spite of how it "seems", that He LOVES you, Garrett, and that He HAS a plan for you for a FUTURE and a HOPE.

Praying (((hug)))

 

[rGarrett]

The numbness, etc. is a "coping" mechanism that kicks in.

God's grace is BIGGER than all of it. The fact that you posted here is a GOOD thing. God is working even through that. He already started mooooving before you posted.

We are here to pray for, encourage, and support one another, and to "stand-in" for each other, and pray on each other's behalf, such as now.

KNOW that, in spite of how it "seems", that He LOVES you, Garrett, and that He HAS a plan for you for a FUTURE and a HOPE.

Praying (((hug)))

I hope so, I just am not at the point where I have even gone to him for support to be honest. I am not ready to try that, as stupid as it sounds.
But posting here is helping also.

 

[brinny]

I hope so, I just am not at the point where I have even gone to him for support to be honest. I am not ready to try that, as stupid as it sounds.
But posting here is helping also.

Might be a good idea to get your "bearings" where you are at, and seek support amongst other survivors who are on the road to health, and supportive counselors.

My hunch is that your dad cannot give you support in that he is incapable of anything healthy towards you, at least for now. Seek those who honestly wish you well, Garrett.

Hang in there, praying (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

This comes to mind (((hug)))

 

[rGarrett]

Might be a good idea to get your "bearings" where you are at, and seek support amongst other survivors who are on the road to health, and supportive counselors.

My hunch is that your dad cannot give you support in that he is incapable of anything healthy towards you, at least for now. Seek those who honestly wish you well, Garrett.

Hang in there, praying (((hug)))

I am trying that and it is somewhat working.
Although I wish I could have my family.
I am just unsure on who to trust and who to go to for now, although I look at this forum as a good family so far.

 

[brinny]

I am trying that and it is somewhat working.
Although I wish I could have my family.
I am just unsure on who to trust and who to go to for now, although I look at this forum as a good family so far.

Your family is not gone. Lift them up to God, and let HIM do what HE does best. And that is to minister and intervene and win hearts, minds, and souls as only HE can do through His precious Holy Spirit.

Be still and KNOW that HE is God.

God bless you Garrett, praying (((hug)))

 

[rGarrett]

Your family is not gone. Lift them up to God, and let HIM do what HE does best. And that is to minister and intervene and win hearts, minds, and souls as only HE can do through His precious Holy Spirit.

Be still and KNOW that HE is God.

God bless you Garrett, praying (((hug)))

I am trying my hardest, thanks for being supportive.
I just am not sure on how to do anything as I am not ready for this.
I just hate how my mental health ruins a lot for me.

 

[brinny]

I am trying my hardest, thanks for being supportive.
I just am not sure on how to do anything as I am not ready for this.
I just hate how my mental health ruins a lot for me.

TRUST Him in the uncertainties and the confusion and the chaos. He has ALREADY put your feet on something solid. He's not done, Garrett. He's got GOOD plans for you. TRUST Him in the uncertainties, as HE works behind the scenes to roll out that future and hope visibly and concretely, in His own timing.

How did you come to know God, if i might ask?

 

[rGarrett]

TRUST Him in the uncertainties and the confusion and the chaos. He has ALREADY put your feet on something solid. He's not done, Garrett. He's got GOOD plans for you. TRUST Him in the uncertainties, as HE works behind the scenes to roll out that future and hope visibly and concretely, in His own timing.

How did you come to know God, if i might ask?

My family went to a church and I got to know him through them and thats why I think it is harder for me to come back around to it fully, I believe in God & Jesus and I have seen enough to know that its all real, I just don't have motivation or enough faith to feel it.
I am not sure how to explain it.

 

[brinny]

My family went to a church and I got to know him through them and thats why I think it is harder for me to come back around to it fully, I believe in God & Jesus and I have seen enough to know that its all real, I just don't have motivation or enough faith to feel it.
I am not sure how to explain it.

When did you accept Jesus as your Savior?

 

[rGarrett]

When did you accept Jesus as your Savior?

Although there is a wall between me and him now, I accepted him many years ago.
I just have lost all of my faith.

 

[brinny]

Although there is a wall between me and him now, I accepted him many years ago.
I just have lost all of my faith.

Do you remember the story of the Prodigal son?

 

[rGarrett]

Do you remember the story of the Prodigal son?

I am not that knowledgeable on a lot regarding the Bible and what not although the basics I understand. I have seen miracles. I have seen and known enough to know that I want to go to Heaven to be with the ultimate father.

 

[brinny]

I am not that knowledgeable on a lot regarding the Bible and what not although the basics I understand. I have seen miracles. I have seen and known enough to know that I want to go to Heaven to be with the ultimate father.

What miracles have you seen?

I'll share the story of the Prodigal son, if you'd like.