- Jan 1, 2024
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Jeremiah 23:9-12,
"Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the Lord, and because of the words of his holiness.
For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right.
For both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the Lord.
Wherefore their way shall be unto them as slippery ways in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein: for I will bring evil upon them, even the year of their visitation, saith the Lord."
How horrible did I live many a time after I received the Lord! As Scripture says in 2 Peter 2:12-17,
"But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;
And shall receive the reward of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the day time. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you;
Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:
Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;
But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man's voice forbad the madness of the prophet.
These are wells without water, clouds that are carried with a tempest; to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever."
Wow is me! Having been called in righteousness I did forsake the right way, and was gone astray. Oh, the eyes full of adultery: the last half of the 1980s, all through the 90s. Married but loving at least 3 other women. I did not physically cheat but that don't matter, as Jesus makes clear to even think it is adultery of the heart, and I enjoyed spending time with those girls more than my wife. Then at the divorce as soon as that was finalized I immediately fell into an adulterous affair with a married woman!
I am ashamed of my wicked sin!
But worse is, the gifts and calling of God without repentance. I DID see mighty works in the 90s, akin to the works of Elijah, but Oh Balaam! And Oh Lord! Matthew 7:21-23 is so filled with foreboding!
"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
"Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?" Was I doing the will of the Father in heaven? Adultery, drunkenness, smoking weed at times, fornication, psychedelic mushrooms, peyote, datura! Sorcery! Pharmakia! Casting a spell upon myself all the while with the sinister rock and heavy metal music! Casting a spell on others with all that filth!
A turning point did come in 2018 however, and in that I know the Lord had chosen me, and it humbled me greatly as I received repentance unto life.
So yet, I was NOT reserved unto darkness, for the Holy LORD most dreadful and terrible Yahweh Sabaoth, the LORD of Hosts, by the pleasure of His will chosen to save this vile despicable wyrm, and wicked dog, and sanctify it by the blood of His Son Jesus, to whom belongs praise forevermore; King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Not one thing can I bring before Him: a hell deserved sinner of most vehement passions and vile affections; yet the Living God didst root out that terrible lust and causeth mine eyes to look strait forward and single, to be full of light and not darkness. He tore out and uprooted the desire for alcohol, and any drugs, and tobacco of any kind. Now if I hear rock or metal it is the noise of devils! It's not even music anymore! Good! That's good. My brain used to desire the song of fools, even as I abstained: but now it is a grating, fingernails on the blackboard, clanging mess of noise.
HalleluYAH! Praise to YAH who rideth upon the heavens by that name - Psalm 68.
He who controls the entire universe, sees fit by His own mercy & love & will to reach out and draw wicked sinners unto Himself: all praise be unto Him in the name of Jesus Christ.
"Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the Lord, and because of the words of his holiness.
For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right.
For both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the Lord.
Wherefore their way shall be unto them as slippery ways in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein: for I will bring evil upon them, even the year of their visitation, saith the Lord."
How horrible did I live many a time after I received the Lord! As Scripture says in 2 Peter 2:12-17,
"But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;
And shall receive the reward of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the day time. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you;
Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:
Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;
But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man's voice forbad the madness of the prophet.
These are wells without water, clouds that are carried with a tempest; to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever."
Wow is me! Having been called in righteousness I did forsake the right way, and was gone astray. Oh, the eyes full of adultery: the last half of the 1980s, all through the 90s. Married but loving at least 3 other women. I did not physically cheat but that don't matter, as Jesus makes clear to even think it is adultery of the heart, and I enjoyed spending time with those girls more than my wife. Then at the divorce as soon as that was finalized I immediately fell into an adulterous affair with a married woman!
I am ashamed of my wicked sin!
But worse is, the gifts and calling of God without repentance. I DID see mighty works in the 90s, akin to the works of Elijah, but Oh Balaam! And Oh Lord! Matthew 7:21-23 is so filled with foreboding!
"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
"Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?" Was I doing the will of the Father in heaven? Adultery, drunkenness, smoking weed at times, fornication, psychedelic mushrooms, peyote, datura! Sorcery! Pharmakia! Casting a spell upon myself all the while with the sinister rock and heavy metal music! Casting a spell on others with all that filth!
A turning point did come in 2018 however, and in that I know the Lord had chosen me, and it humbled me greatly as I received repentance unto life.
So yet, I was NOT reserved unto darkness, for the Holy LORD most dreadful and terrible Yahweh Sabaoth, the LORD of Hosts, by the pleasure of His will chosen to save this vile despicable wyrm, and wicked dog, and sanctify it by the blood of His Son Jesus, to whom belongs praise forevermore; King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Not one thing can I bring before Him: a hell deserved sinner of most vehement passions and vile affections; yet the Living God didst root out that terrible lust and causeth mine eyes to look strait forward and single, to be full of light and not darkness. He tore out and uprooted the desire for alcohol, and any drugs, and tobacco of any kind. Now if I hear rock or metal it is the noise of devils! It's not even music anymore! Good! That's good. My brain used to desire the song of fools, even as I abstained: but now it is a grating, fingernails on the blackboard, clanging mess of noise.
HalleluYAH! Praise to YAH who rideth upon the heavens by that name - Psalm 68.
He who controls the entire universe, sees fit by His own mercy & love & will to reach out and draw wicked sinners unto Himself: all praise be unto Him in the name of Jesus Christ.
