- Jul 30, 2008
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I posted here a month ago.
It has been one month ago today that I was 5 months pregnant with my little Keegan, and we had to make the decision to terminate. I have IC, incompetent Cervix. This causes my cervix to dilate prematurely, causing preterm labor. I was 3 CM dilated before I even got to the hospital and didn't know it.
I had to have an emergency cerclage (stitches to the cervix) which failed and my membranes ruptured.
Well, now I am back to normal physically. I have lost all but about 4 pounds I put on with him and we're ready to try again.
I went on BC for the month, to help regulate my hormone levels and kick start my system. I finished them last week, and got my first period last week afterwords too.
The doctors say it is alright to try again as soon as we're ready.
The problem is, Keegan was a surprise. We weren't preventing it, but we weren't necessarily trying either.
So, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this other than the obvious. The doctors think I will probably ovulate on time this month.
I was told to have intercourse every other day.
I don't know how to track BBT, I know about the cervical mucus which I have noticed in the past, so I'm assuming it will be the same now.
I know most people, like animals ironically (I noticed this with my rabbits, and in animal sciences with coats and pigs) are more fertile in the months following birth and miscarriage. I know the odds are good that since this was not an assisted conception that that is signs that my husband's sperm count is good, and that I was ovulating normally.
I know they say if this was the case the second will generally be easier than the first.
I know the signs will be more recognizable, and you'll know sooner in most cases.
However, after losing the first, this is of course, terrifying.
The doctors even think within the first few months we should conceive.
I will have a cerclage placed at 10-16 weeks into the next pregnancy. But of course for some reason, I'm still worried to death that it won't be as easy as all of that.
But, honestly, I have more faith in God than I do the doctors or anything I have read.
I have done a lot of praying and talking to God in the last month.
I know he has heard me. And I believe if I continue to do my part and be a good person and live like God wants me to, that my heart won't be broken for long. I know God doesn't want me to hurt. I know he would take it all away right now if he could.
I am worried about April 20th of this year, that was his his estimated birthdate had I carried full term. That and November 26th. That was the date he went to be with God. I believe that if I have faith in God, since I am healthy and my husband is healthy, I won't have to go through those dates without another beautiful miracle to help me fill my life with more hope and love.
All I really want is to give my baby the love and affection I wanted him to have. And since he now has more love and affection than I could give him in a million years, I want him to know I'm thinking about him and have a heart full of love waiting for his siblings. I think being pregnant again would help me feel better about the situation without feeling like I am replacing him.
Who knows, in some small way, it might be the spirt of my Keegan again. Maybe he just came early to warn me how to get the problem fixed before he comes to stay.
It has been one month ago today that I was 5 months pregnant with my little Keegan, and we had to make the decision to terminate. I have IC, incompetent Cervix. This causes my cervix to dilate prematurely, causing preterm labor. I was 3 CM dilated before I even got to the hospital and didn't know it.
I had to have an emergency cerclage (stitches to the cervix) which failed and my membranes ruptured.
Well, now I am back to normal physically. I have lost all but about 4 pounds I put on with him and we're ready to try again.
I went on BC for the month, to help regulate my hormone levels and kick start my system. I finished them last week, and got my first period last week afterwords too.
The doctors say it is alright to try again as soon as we're ready.
The problem is, Keegan was a surprise. We weren't preventing it, but we weren't necessarily trying either.
So, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this other than the obvious. The doctors think I will probably ovulate on time this month.
I was told to have intercourse every other day.
I don't know how to track BBT, I know about the cervical mucus which I have noticed in the past, so I'm assuming it will be the same now.
I know most people, like animals ironically (I noticed this with my rabbits, and in animal sciences with coats and pigs) are more fertile in the months following birth and miscarriage. I know the odds are good that since this was not an assisted conception that that is signs that my husband's sperm count is good, and that I was ovulating normally.
I know they say if this was the case the second will generally be easier than the first.
I know the signs will be more recognizable, and you'll know sooner in most cases.
However, after losing the first, this is of course, terrifying.
The doctors even think within the first few months we should conceive.
I will have a cerclage placed at 10-16 weeks into the next pregnancy. But of course for some reason, I'm still worried to death that it won't be as easy as all of that.
But, honestly, I have more faith in God than I do the doctors or anything I have read.
I have done a lot of praying and talking to God in the last month.
I know he has heard me. And I believe if I continue to do my part and be a good person and live like God wants me to, that my heart won't be broken for long. I know God doesn't want me to hurt. I know he would take it all away right now if he could.
I am worried about April 20th of this year, that was his his estimated birthdate had I carried full term. That and November 26th. That was the date he went to be with God. I believe that if I have faith in God, since I am healthy and my husband is healthy, I won't have to go through those dates without another beautiful miracle to help me fill my life with more hope and love.
All I really want is to give my baby the love and affection I wanted him to have. And since he now has more love and affection than I could give him in a million years, I want him to know I'm thinking about him and have a heart full of love waiting for his siblings. I think being pregnant again would help me feel better about the situation without feeling like I am replacing him.
Who knows, in some small way, it might be the spirt of my Keegan again. Maybe he just came early to warn me how to get the problem fixed before he comes to stay.
