LovebirdsFlying
My husband drew this cartoon of me.
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NOTE: Please understand that weaponized incompetence is NOT "I don't know how to do this task," or "I don't know how to do it as well as you do." Weaponized incompetence is "I'm pretending I don't understand how to do this task, in the hopes that you'll give up on me and do it yourself, and then I won't have to."
I don't know how much plainer I can explain it, so I'll explain it here and see if anybody else finds this concept as absoultely baffling as my husband apparently does after 15 years. Plus I have to vent, before I go off on him. I am SO sick and tired of having the same conversation with him, over and over and over, only to have to have it again the next laundry day.
I have three night gowns, all of the same plain, unadorned style. They kind of look like long t-shirts, not quite knee-length, hitting just past mid thigh. They were bought as a set. When they arrived, I even unwrapped them in front of him, showed him each one, and identified them as night gowns. My night gowns go on a hook on my side of the closet. They do not get put on a hanger and hung up alongside my dresses.
Since, despite explaining all of this, he almost immediately started mistaking them for dresses, I held a gown and a dress up next to each other and pointed out the difference. Notice that the dress is longer. It has a sewn-in waistband and buttons down the front. It is also of a sturdier, more ornate fabric than my gowns are. I pointed out that he only ever sees me wearing the gowns at home. Does he really think I would go to church, or the grocery store, or anywhere else out in public, wearing one of my gowns? If not, then why would he consistently mistake them for dresses?
In fairness, a lot of people don't know the difference between pants and leggings, but after I've explained it a hundred times, shouldn't it start to make a dent? What the US calls pants, and other English-speaking nations call slacks or trousers, are full length. I don't wear skinny jeans, so all of my pants/slacks have straight or slightly flared legs. They have either belt loops or a drawstring, and are of a heavier, more substantial fabric than leggings. My leggings are of a thin fabric, fit skin tight, and stop at mid calf. They have no belt loops or drawstrings. I wear leggings under long tunics or short dresses, never independently as slacks. My pants/slacks/jeans go on hangers in the closet, the same as his do. Leggings are folded and put in a drawer, just like the pantyhose they have more in common with than they do slacks/pants/jeans. He wouldn't put pantyhose on a hanger, would he? Leggings are just thicker, more colorful pantyhose, without feet.
He still doesn't understand. Every time he does laundry, if I'm not there to specifically clarify whether something hangs or folds, he WILL get it mixed up. I WILL find my nightgowns and leggings on hangers, and I WILL find pants/slacks among my socks and underwear to go in drawers.
I don't think I can possibly explain it any clearer. Can you?
He doesn't listen or retain what I tell him, is a chronic problem in our marriage. At what point do I give up all hope and accept the fact that he just doesn't want to learn the difference because it's not important to him?
I don't know how much plainer I can explain it, so I'll explain it here and see if anybody else finds this concept as absoultely baffling as my husband apparently does after 15 years. Plus I have to vent, before I go off on him. I am SO sick and tired of having the same conversation with him, over and over and over, only to have to have it again the next laundry day.
I have three night gowns, all of the same plain, unadorned style. They kind of look like long t-shirts, not quite knee-length, hitting just past mid thigh. They were bought as a set. When they arrived, I even unwrapped them in front of him, showed him each one, and identified them as night gowns. My night gowns go on a hook on my side of the closet. They do not get put on a hanger and hung up alongside my dresses.
Since, despite explaining all of this, he almost immediately started mistaking them for dresses, I held a gown and a dress up next to each other and pointed out the difference. Notice that the dress is longer. It has a sewn-in waistband and buttons down the front. It is also of a sturdier, more ornate fabric than my gowns are. I pointed out that he only ever sees me wearing the gowns at home. Does he really think I would go to church, or the grocery store, or anywhere else out in public, wearing one of my gowns? If not, then why would he consistently mistake them for dresses?
In fairness, a lot of people don't know the difference between pants and leggings, but after I've explained it a hundred times, shouldn't it start to make a dent? What the US calls pants, and other English-speaking nations call slacks or trousers, are full length. I don't wear skinny jeans, so all of my pants/slacks have straight or slightly flared legs. They have either belt loops or a drawstring, and are of a heavier, more substantial fabric than leggings. My leggings are of a thin fabric, fit skin tight, and stop at mid calf. They have no belt loops or drawstrings. I wear leggings under long tunics or short dresses, never independently as slacks. My pants/slacks/jeans go on hangers in the closet, the same as his do. Leggings are folded and put in a drawer, just like the pantyhose they have more in common with than they do slacks/pants/jeans. He wouldn't put pantyhose on a hanger, would he? Leggings are just thicker, more colorful pantyhose, without feet.
He still doesn't understand. Every time he does laundry, if I'm not there to specifically clarify whether something hangs or folds, he WILL get it mixed up. I WILL find my nightgowns and leggings on hangers, and I WILL find pants/slacks among my socks and underwear to go in drawers.
I don't think I can possibly explain it any clearer. Can you?
He doesn't listen or retain what I tell him, is a chronic problem in our marriage. At what point do I give up all hope and accept the fact that he just doesn't want to learn the difference because it's not important to him?