Hey all,
So, I'm a new college student that's absolutely loved studying things such as philosophy, theology, and church history for the past few years. A lot of people around me say I have a real gift of discernment (or prophecy, I've heard it both ways), and they say it's a big blessing.
Unfortunately, it also seems to be a heavy burden too. I don't have many friends, and those few I do have I can't really talk about heavy theological things with. It seems so many people are so caught up in this world that they're completely oblivious to the things lurking just beneath the surface. I'm even at a Christian university, and every time I see a couple madly in love, or a group of friends playing a board game, or a group going out to eat, I can't help but think about how shallow their life probably is.
So many Christians seem to be Christian in word and deed, but not in spirit. How many "Christians" weep over the divisions of the Church, or the rampant heresies therein, or the apathetic attitude so many "Christians" have towards growing in knowledge of God? Every time I mention doctrine or wanting to find out what's right and what's wrong, I get scowls and it's even gotten to the point where everyone in the group asks me to stop talking before I start. Many times I'll be sitting with a group of "friends" and they'll all just get up and go do something without inviting me or even saying goodbye.
Sometimes I see a couple in the corner, saying sweet things, other times I see a group of friends just getting along so well...and every time I do I wonder what it would be like to be so oblivious; ignorant to all the heavier things of life I've been made aware of. Popularity and acceptance, as hollow as I know they really are, are pretty tempting most of the time.
Does anybody else go through these things? I'm not speaking of ordinary depression or social outcast, I'm talking about serious rejection from within the popular "Church" and feelings of total isolation. Sometimes it feels like madness, because all I'm trying to do is find the truth, but nobody else wants to look with me. Everyone else just seems content with their opinions and worldviews without challenging them to find the best one.
Is it always like this? Does it get better? Am I the problem, or are the things that bother me real? If so, what am I supposed to do about it? A lot of the things I talk about are really controversial and a lot of people get offended...is that good? Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel...these were some pretty lonely prophets of the Bible. But, I'm still wrestling with a lot of theology of my own, and I just want some friends to help me on this journey for truth. Is that too much to ask?
Any comments, questions, or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. God bless!
So, I'm a new college student that's absolutely loved studying things such as philosophy, theology, and church history for the past few years. A lot of people around me say I have a real gift of discernment (or prophecy, I've heard it both ways), and they say it's a big blessing.
Unfortunately, it also seems to be a heavy burden too. I don't have many friends, and those few I do have I can't really talk about heavy theological things with. It seems so many people are so caught up in this world that they're completely oblivious to the things lurking just beneath the surface. I'm even at a Christian university, and every time I see a couple madly in love, or a group of friends playing a board game, or a group going out to eat, I can't help but think about how shallow their life probably is.
So many Christians seem to be Christian in word and deed, but not in spirit. How many "Christians" weep over the divisions of the Church, or the rampant heresies therein, or the apathetic attitude so many "Christians" have towards growing in knowledge of God? Every time I mention doctrine or wanting to find out what's right and what's wrong, I get scowls and it's even gotten to the point where everyone in the group asks me to stop talking before I start. Many times I'll be sitting with a group of "friends" and they'll all just get up and go do something without inviting me or even saying goodbye.
Sometimes I see a couple in the corner, saying sweet things, other times I see a group of friends just getting along so well...and every time I do I wonder what it would be like to be so oblivious; ignorant to all the heavier things of life I've been made aware of. Popularity and acceptance, as hollow as I know they really are, are pretty tempting most of the time.
Does anybody else go through these things? I'm not speaking of ordinary depression or social outcast, I'm talking about serious rejection from within the popular "Church" and feelings of total isolation. Sometimes it feels like madness, because all I'm trying to do is find the truth, but nobody else wants to look with me. Everyone else just seems content with their opinions and worldviews without challenging them to find the best one.
Is it always like this? Does it get better? Am I the problem, or are the things that bother me real? If so, what am I supposed to do about it? A lot of the things I talk about are really controversial and a lot of people get offended...is that good? Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel...these were some pretty lonely prophets of the Bible. But, I'm still wrestling with a lot of theology of my own, and I just want some friends to help me on this journey for truth. Is that too much to ask?
Any comments, questions, or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. God bless!
