My other half is currently studying to be a Pastor.
I'm liberal and outgoing and loud and probably a little bit too obnoxious and outspoken to be a traditional Pastor's wife. But I met an amazing man and so I'm going for it none-the-less.
But I am concerned that my children are going to be forever labelled, "The Pastor's Children" and
What's is really like to be a Pastor's child?
Is it that bad?
Given a choice, would you rather your father/mother wasn't a Pastor?
Hello Mona! I can relate to your concerns a little. I grew up a PK; my Dad was a minister in my church (and yours), and also a missionary overseas. The longest I lived anywhere was 5 years; moving is part and parcel of pastoral work in most churches I know. When I was little it was easy - kindergarten and primary age friends are fun, but Mummy and Daddy are central to life, and they go along. The first time we moved after I was 10, it was really hard, but my brothers and I got used to it. In my case, at least, I adapted by not developing very deep friendships - became a bit of a loner. My brothers adapted differently - more outgoing. It was a blessing that our family was so closeknit. But I have never regretted my Dad being a Pastor.
I believe that is key. If the family is closeknit, they can handle almost anything. When I was aged 8-15, in Papua New Guinea, Dad was away from home 7 months of the year - but Mum and he never allowed that to drive us apart. They focused strongly on our family, and it worked. All except my baby sister who on return to Australia, turned her back on Christ (at age 9). I suspect a factor was that by then, we older brothers had left home, and she was like an only child.
And I cannot stress enough the importance of a close loving supportive family. There will be outside factors that the Devil will use to drive wedges if possible. My sis had some of that. Finally when Dad was transferred again, she refused to move, and at age 15 took responsibility for her own life. Mum and Dad did the only thing they could - love her unconditionally, unreservedly (not that they didn't before) - and Sis knew it. She is still a close beloved part of our family, and one day I trust the Lord to bring her back to faith.
Now I am a Pastor too - and I have teenage and primary age sons. They have to face moving too - and they know it, even though they don't like the idea. But we will face it together. I make sure I spend time with them - and I take care that my ministry does not
habitually
take me away from them.
No, being labelled the pastor's child is not all bad. It can be uncomfortable, at times people may use it as a lever against them. But if the children are brought up to value their parents' involvement in ministry, to love the Lord, they will usually be supportive.
Many of the PKs who split from the Lord have been in situations where the family was not united over the ministry. Believe me, if one spouse is not supportive of the other's ministry/career, the children will pick it up, and it will influence their attitudes too. If one spouse is critical of the other, of the demands of ministry, and/or if the other insists that the ministry takes first place over the family at all times, then something is not healthy, and the children will be more likely to resent church, and to leave the Lord.