Yes, I forgot to mention the pain I've been in for over 24 years!!!! Fibro, degenerative disc disease, diabetic neuropathy---it is pain 24/7. I know, it robs you of the joy of life. It is exhausting and most people can not comprehend it. Our brains retain pain. I had testing for my neuropathy which was basically a cattle prod delivering an electric shock! Because of my fibro, it was horrible. Some people who have the test feel nothing much, I had it years ago and felt not much. This time it was awful. And it stayed. For 3 months I was electrocuted 25-35 times a day!! It gradually lessened, it's a few times a day now, along with many other pains. It amazes me how many different types of pain there are! I also have very bad cramps, and some pains that are like someone taking a pair of pliers and grabbing a hunk of flesh and clamping down and twisting, there are the needles---tiny ones to someone pounding nails into me, ---burning---so intense it feels like I could light someone's cigarettes with the tip of my finger (that is where that one pain hits, just the tip of a finger, (I have to dunk it in ice water), there is the burning of my legs, and they literally feel like they are on fire, I have gel packs in the freezer that I have to strap on to get relief, I also have a spray bottle of rubbing alcohol to cool them down with, then there is the itch---it will hit my thumb, the palm of my hand, sooooo intense it feels like I will loose my mind. I was boiling water for pasta when it hit once and I had an overwhelming desire to stick my finger into the water to relieve the pain!!---I didn't do it. I no longer will do mammograms, the last time I had one my boobs hurt for 2-3 weeks. I will have no procedures done that involve pain. I do not need my brain to remember any more pain! They wanted to do a vaginal biopsy when I had an allergic reaction to toilet paper and had to go to gynecologist, I declined---that is one area that I do not have pain in and there are women with fibro that have it there very badly. There is the numbness in my feet and legs that hurt---that something can be numb yet hurt is something I do not understand! Sometimes it feels like even my hair hurts!! Then there is the general, overall muscle aches, or when my groin will feel like a pulled groin muscles though I have not pulled it. I will not be able to walk sometimes for weeks. I'm in a wheel chair anyways for my back, but can walk short distances. I had to carry around this long scarf that I wrapped that leg in and I could pull the leg up when I needed to, it hurt like crazy whenever I tried to lift it. Along with the pain fibro hits the brain, very forgetful, once typed 90 words a minute, I now type dyslexic and can't type 4 words without mistakes. Sometimes we can't get a word out, even though it may be simple, like apple, we know the word but it won't come out-have to describe it, or point to it ,my husband has gotten very good at filling in the blanks! I had to finely quite my job as a dialysis tech in the hospitals, have dialyzed even in neonatal but got to where I just could not do it anymore, besides the pain, the worse thing was my brain, I was forgetting stuff, making me dangerous and I finally had to tell my bosses. I've been on disability for over 5 years now--it was hard to give up my job of 20 years--it ended up costing me very penny I had saved up. Sleep is very difficult, a couple hours here and there, and sometimes even in my sleep, I can't get away from the pain for I will dream that I am in pain! They did scans on fibro brains in sleep---even when we are asleep, our brains do not sleep like normal people's brains do, ours keep on going, which is one reason they figure we are always so exhausted no matter how much sleep we get. Being on here helps keep my brain active and my fingers moving, thank God for spell check!! Oh yes, there were times I prayed that God would just take me. As a Christian I no longer feel I can actually kill myself as that means I think my suffering is greater than the power of God and I won't go there. I CHOOSE to believe that God is beside me and will help me to cope with all this. He gave me the MMJ to help me, now that I am not on it anymore, I have found other things that help the pain come down, like cutting my Lisinopril in half, it was causing the pins and needles to be worse, I had to go back up on my Tramadol. I just try to enjoy what I can.
Chicken------
