Struggling

[Maharg]

I've posted this over in Spirit-filled/Charismatic too. It's a bit involved, sorry. I'm feeling really confused trying to understand what God is saying to me. We have one little girl and have been trying for another baby since she was 6 months old. She's now three. God has been giving me lots of signs about having more children and I thought that this was the month that I was going to be pregnant because there seemed to be so many signs to that effect, pointing to us conceiving this month. All of the time that I thought God was promising us more children I had a sense that I had to sacrifice something first, but wasn't quite sure what it was.

I'm now spotting with blood and my period is due and I don't know whether to keep having faith in the signs that I could be pregnant or whether this means I am not. It's too early to test. The reason I think it could be my period is because I thought God lead me to read Ezekiel the other night and there was a reference to periods. But I'm confused as to why he would give me so many signs that I was pregnant and then one sign that I'm not. I'm also not sure if he is saying to me that in order to have more children, I will have to sacrifice the one I have in that he wants to take her away. I don't want to lose my daughter. I love her so much and I don't know if she is saved yet as she is only just three. I don't know how to pray. I thought I was getting to know God a lot better, was feeling so close to him, and now I feel like I don't know him. I have stopped reading my Bible for a couple of days because I don't trust myself not to misinterpret or over interpret what it is saying. I've said to God that if it is His will that He wants to take our daughter away then I still trust Him, but I don't know whether He really would want to do this. Surely, he wouldn't take her without giving her enough time to be saved. I can't talk to anyone I know about this because I sound so crazy I know. But I feel like I can't hear God properly and am probably getting distracted by Satan and can't work out who it is who is speaking to me. Please pray for me to hear God and truly listen. I don't understand how I could suddenly feel so confused when it had felt like I was walking right in the centre of his will and timing only a week ago.

 

[Tim Myers]

I apologize....but I am confused by you saying that you are counting on God to "give you a child" and looking to the book of Ezekiel for confirmation......

 

[Maharg]

Thank you for your reply. I didn't say I was "counting" on God to "give me a child". I said I believed God had promised us more children. I wasn't looking in the book of Ezekiel for confirmation of his promise, I was looking in the book of Ezekiel because I thought that was what God wanted me to do at that particular moment.

 

[Maharg]

AF came yesterday night so I guess I misinterpreted the signs I thought God had given me. He must be calling me to a deeper level of faith. Is hard to know what to believe about his will for me at the moment so am focusing on Rom 12:2.

 

[Just4Jesus]

God would not have you sacrifice your daughter for another child! The old testament is law and although important indeed, you need to read the New Testament. I am disturbed by your post sweetie. Don't get caught up in legalism. It will destroy you. We have the Bible as our guide, it is our sign. God shows us many things through his word. Only God knows why it is taking so long. You must trust Him in this, I know its hard. I hurt for you. I will pray for you. Dont let the devil deceive you. This is so heartbreaking.

Believing God for anything in life grows and strengthens our faith. The more we wait for it, the more our faith can grow (no wonder Abraham and Sarah were such strong examples of faith-filled people!) God gave us an awesome promise in Mark 11:24- "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
One thing He doesn't promise is to give us what we've prayed for when we want it. We have to remember that God doesn't operate in the finite realm of time like we do. He sees things long term so to Him our prayers are already answered, even if we can't see it in the natural yet. We are to walk by faith and not by sight, so once we pray we should believe that it is done.

"We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:18 The time we spend waiting to get pregnant is only temporary, but God and His promises are eternal. In the grand scheme of our lives, a few months or few years of waiting won't seem that long in the future when we're looking back.

When we accept Christ in our lives and decide to live for Him, it doesn't mean the rest of our lives will be on easy street. The Bible guarantees us that we will have trials and difficulties to deal with in life. Thankfully, God also gives us a promise that all our difficulties will ultimately end in our good if we keep seeking Him ().Romans 8:28
When we experience difficulties in getting pregnant, we can hold on the joy that God is producing patience and character in us through this trial. "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."
Romans 5:3-5

 

[Maharg]

God would not have you sacrifice your daughter for another child! The old testament is law and although important indeed, you need to read the New Testament. I am disturbed by your post sweetie. Don't get caught up in legalism. It will destroy you. We have the Bible as our guide, it is our sign. God shows us many things through his word. Only God knows why it is taking so long. You must trust Him in this, I know its hard. I hurt for you. I will pray for you. Dont let the devil deceive you. This is so heartbreaking.

Believing God for anything in life grows and strengthens our faith. The more we wait for it, the more our faith can grow (no wonder Abraham and Sarah were such strong examples of faith-filled people!) God gave us an awesome promise in Mark 11:24- "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
One thing He doesn't promise is to give us what we've prayed for when we want it. We have to remember that God doesn't operate in the finite realm of time like we do. He sees things long term so to Him our prayers are already answered, even if we can't see it in the natural yet. We are to walk by faith and not by sight, so once we pray we should believe that it is done.

"We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:18 The time we spend waiting to get pregnant is only temporary, but God and His promises are eternal. In the grand scheme of our lives, a few months or few years of waiting won't seem that long in the future when we're looking back.

When we accept Christ in our lives and decide to live for Him, it doesn't mean the rest of our lives will be on easy street. The Bible guarantees us that we will have trials and difficulties to deal with in life. Thankfully, God also gives us a promise that all our difficulties will ultimately end in our good if we keep seeking Him ().Romans 8:28
When we experience difficulties in getting pregnant, we can hold on the joy that God is producing patience and character in us through this trial. "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."
Romans 5:3-5

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm in a better place now emotionally and spiritually. I'll write a bit more later on but am just off to a prayer meeting at church. Thank you once again for your reply.

 

[katautumn]

Please use discernment when trying to interpret signs. I, personally, don't believe God works through signs any more, since He gave the ultimate sign of His love for us when He sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. God used to speak through dreams and very tangible evidences, but Jesus came to give us redemption through faith. God grew so weary of having to create burning bushes, talking animals and handwriting on the wall and still have people disobey and despise Him, so I personally believe He doesn't let us rely on signs for us to have faith in His plan.

Does God give us conviction and peace? Absolutely. We must be very, very careful though about what we believe are godly desires and what our flesh desires. For example, my flesh desires another child, but I have come to accept that God may not have the same plan for me. When you try and interpret every menstrual symptom as a sign of pregnancy, it could be the enemy trying to rob you of your peace, joy and contentment in Christ and what God has already blessed you with.

Desiring another child is not ungodly. The Bible says children are a heritage from the Lord. The Bible calls women to love their children. God created us to be natural nurturers. With that said, we must be careful to not become so zealous in our desire to have children that we read signs into everything. That causes a lot of grief, especially when you get your period. I know, because I've been there.

 

[Maharg]

Thank you again for your posts. I'm beginning to be able to get past this now. Just to give a bit of background, God has led me to the same Bible passage again and again in a variety of ways and through a variety of sources when I have asked him if we will have more children, and I really believe this is some sort of promise from him.

It was again through my daily Bible readings that I believed he was saying I would conceive this month. I wasn't even asking him when I would conceive. I wasn't looking for signs in my body or anything like that because the signs of pregnancy seem to be so indistinguishable from menstrual signs that there seems very little point. I had actually got to a place where I was feeling ok about the waiting - I had come to terms with it. It was only because I believed that God had told me I would conceive that I felt so disappointed. I did feel disappointed about not being pregnant, but more than that, I just felt really insecure in my relationship with God because I know he does not lie and yet he seemed to be telling me I was pregnant.

I haven't quite understood what is going on yet, but maybe I am pregnant in a spiritual sense and that is what God was saying to me. What I mean by this is that God is on the verge of doing some kind of creative work in me to further me along the road of the Christian life. I'm not quite sure yet. I know that God sometimes makes promises that are actually fulfilled by a future generation, so maybe we will have more children, but it will be through being grand-parents rather than having any more babies of our own.

I'm just perplexed at the moment really, but still trusting in God because I know He is faithful. I am feeling quite insecure about my ability to understand what he is saying to me. I know it's possible to read all kinds of things into the Bible and assume promises are meant for us specifically when they are not. But I do try hard not to do that and to ask God to confirm something through several channels or several times so that I know it really is Him speaking.

Thank you again for your support.