I've posted this over in Spirit-filled/Charismatic too. It's a bit involved, sorry. I'm feeling really confused trying to understand what God is saying to me. We have one little girl and have been trying for another baby since she was 6 months old. She's now three. God has been giving me lots of signs about having more children and I thought that this was the month that I was going to be pregnant because there seemed to be so many signs to that effect, pointing to us conceiving this month. All of the time that I thought God was promising us more children I had a sense that I had to sacrifice something first, but wasn't quite sure what it was.
I'm now spotting with blood and my period is due and I don't know whether to keep having faith in the signs that I could be pregnant or whether this means I am not. It's too early to test. The reason I think it could be my period is because I thought God lead me to read Ezekiel the other night and there was a reference to periods. But I'm confused as to why he would give me so many signs that I was pregnant and then one sign that I'm not. I'm also not sure if he is saying to me that in order to have more children, I will have to sacrifice the one I have in that he wants to take her away. I don't want to lose my daughter. I love her so much and I don't know if she is saved yet as she is only just three. I don't know how to pray. I thought I was getting to know God a lot better, was feeling so close to him, and now I feel like I don't know him. I have stopped reading my Bible for a couple of days because I don't trust myself not to misinterpret or over interpret what it is saying. I've said to God that if it is His will that He wants to take our daughter away then I still trust Him, but I don't know whether He really would want to do this. Surely, he wouldn't take her without giving her enough time to be saved. I can't talk to anyone I know about this because I sound so crazy I know. But I feel like I can't hear God properly and am probably getting distracted by Satan and can't work out who it is who is speaking to me. Please pray for me to hear God and truly listen. I don't understand how I could suddenly feel so confused when it had felt like I was walking right in the centre of his will and timing only a week ago.
I'm now spotting with blood and my period is due and I don't know whether to keep having faith in the signs that I could be pregnant or whether this means I am not. It's too early to test. The reason I think it could be my period is because I thought God lead me to read Ezekiel the other night and there was a reference to periods. But I'm confused as to why he would give me so many signs that I was pregnant and then one sign that I'm not. I'm also not sure if he is saying to me that in order to have more children, I will have to sacrifice the one I have in that he wants to take her away. I don't want to lose my daughter. I love her so much and I don't know if she is saved yet as she is only just three. I don't know how to pray. I thought I was getting to know God a lot better, was feeling so close to him, and now I feel like I don't know him. I have stopped reading my Bible for a couple of days because I don't trust myself not to misinterpret or over interpret what it is saying. I've said to God that if it is His will that He wants to take our daughter away then I still trust Him, but I don't know whether He really would want to do this. Surely, he wouldn't take her without giving her enough time to be saved. I can't talk to anyone I know about this because I sound so crazy I know. But I feel like I can't hear God properly and am probably getting distracted by Satan and can't work out who it is who is speaking to me. Please pray for me to hear God and truly listen. I don't understand how I could suddenly feel so confused when it had felt like I was walking right in the centre of his will and timing only a week ago.