*deep breath*
I am a survivor of abuse and have been working on my healing for the last 3 years. My husband is one of the pastors at our church.
For the last few months I have really been struggling to go to church, to face the people and be all happy and together and the 'super- christian' that is expected. There is nobody there that I can say how much I am struggling with trusting God. Most of my abuse was carried out by people who told me they did it in Jesus' name or that it was Jesus himself doing it. I am working through this and I know it was lies but the deep affects and memories take over at times and I get confused and scared about Jesus.
I am hoping I havent said the wrong thing here I just wanted somewhere I can honestly say how I am going. I want to believe, I pray for Jesus to help me, I thank him for saving me yet at the same time my head is full of fear - thoughts of trust no one, questions like - how can i believe that - what if this is lies too?
I apologise for rambling around in this - feeling nervous.
Marri
I am a survivor of abuse and have been working on my healing for the last 3 years. My husband is one of the pastors at our church.
For the last few months I have really been struggling to go to church, to face the people and be all happy and together and the 'super- christian' that is expected. There is nobody there that I can say how much I am struggling with trusting God. Most of my abuse was carried out by people who told me they did it in Jesus' name or that it was Jesus himself doing it. I am working through this and I know it was lies but the deep affects and memories take over at times and I get confused and scared about Jesus.
I am hoping I havent said the wrong thing here I just wanted somewhere I can honestly say how I am going. I want to believe, I pray for Jesus to help me, I thank him for saving me yet at the same time my head is full of fear - thoughts of trust no one, questions like - how can i believe that - what if this is lies too?
I apologise for rambling around in this - feeling nervous.
Marri