Struggling with parents

[PinkyRock]

I understand we are supposed to respect our mother and father, but what do we do if they don't respect us?

My mother is a narcissist, and much of my childhood is a dark cloud of struggle and depression. She's always been controlling me by controlling what I do, how I act, what I wear, what I look like, what job I get and what uni I go to.

There's a fine line between helping and controlling, and I feel like she's gone far past that line. I see my friends with their parents and I long for parents like theirs. I can tell my mum I love her but she has never told me that. She is more focussed on material things and she is so focussed on money that when someone acts like it's nothing, I always insist it is.

And then there's my dad. I pretty much lost him after my parents divorced. Now I barely see him. He lives with his fiancée and two other kids (my half siblings) and that too is a toxic environment. They are always at each other's throats and they are big-time hoarders (they moved to their new house a month ago after getting kicked out and it's already like the old one). All he does is complain and he never talks to me or spends time with me anymore.

Both of them prefer my other siblings; I am the scapegoat. Started paying to live at home at 16, pay for my clothes and some of my food and my share of bills etc. And I'm only 17 now.

I have tried and tried with both of them and every time it fails I feel like I've failed God because I've gone against what He says. But I just can't respect them. It is hard.

I know I should try more, but it's getting to the point where I don't see any end to this suffering with them. I see my dad less than once a week now, and I plan on leaving home when I go to uni (again the uni idea was my mums because she never went and wants a daughter to show off about, and i went with this one because it means I'll finally live by myself).

Over the years there's been depression, anxiety, suicide attempts etc because of the general struggles. The time I was rushed to hospital after a suicide attempt was the only time my dad was there for me, and because he was so little involved with my life that he didn't know until his parents told him.

I've prayed and prayed and nothing changes. What do I do? I don't want to live sinning like this but I don't want to keep suffering either. Please someone help, and God Bless.

 

[Bluerose31]

I understand we are supposed to respect our mother and father, but what do we do if they don't respect us?

My mother is a narcissist, and much of my childhood is a dark cloud of struggle and depression. She's always been controlling me by controlling what I do, how I act, what I wear, what I look like, what job I get and what uni I go to.

There's a fine line between helping and controlling, and I feel like she's gone far past that line. I see my friends with their parents and I long for parents like theirs. I can tell my mum I love her but she has never told me that. She is more focussed on material things and she is so focussed on money that when someone acts like it's nothing, I always insist it is.

And then there's my dad. I pretty much lost him after my parents divorced. Now I barely see him. He lives with his fiancée and two other kids (my half siblings) and that too is a toxic environment. They are always at each other's throats and they are big-time hoarders (they moved to their new house a month ago after getting kicked out and it's already like the old one). All he does is complain and he never talks to me or spends time with me anymore.

Both of them prefer my other siblings; I am the scapegoat. Started paying to live at home at 16, pay for my clothes and some of my food and my share of bills etc. And I'm only 17 now.

I have tried and tried with both of them and every time it fails I feel like I've failed God because I've gone against what He says. But I just can't respect them. It is hard.

I know I should try more, but it's getting to the point where I don't see any end to this suffering with them. I see my dad less than once a week now, and I plan on leaving home when I go to uni (again the uni idea was my mums because she never went and wants a daughter to show off about, and i went with this one because it means I'll finally live by myself).

Over the years there's been depression, anxiety, suicide attempts etc because of the general struggles. The time I was rushed to hospital after a suicide attempt was the only time my dad was there for me, and because he was so little involved with my life that he didn't know until his parents told him.

I've prayed and prayed and nothing changes. What do I do? I don't want to live sinning like this but I don't want to keep suffering either. Please someone help, and God Bless.

I am so sorry you have suffered so much. I will pray that God heals you from your wounds, comforts and protects you.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Respect means not doing wrong to them, but you don't have to put up with abuse. We are to also protect ourselves. Do not be vindictive toward them but you don't have to keep trying with people who are not reciprocating.