Should the son of a deadbeat biological father be put to death?

[Maria Billingsley]

I'm the son of a deadbeat father myself, and I'll be 19 in March. I keep thinking back to certain clues and events throughout my life, and I don't know why, but I feel like I should die. I don't feel scared to die, however I do feel sad and excited whenever I think about it.

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Anyways, my grandmother hates my dad, my stepdad does too, and I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

I'm pretty sure no one is looking down upon you because you have a bad father. Focus on your ability to rise above such things and begin to carve your own path with love, righteousness and humility. Good virtues are in you so don't let anything or anyone cause you to doubt it. Blessings.

 

[BPPLEE]

You're not helping, but alright. LOL!

Whatever your father did is not your fault. You don’t have to be like him. I don’t see how his failures have anything to do with you thinking about death.

 

[Chris04]

I’ve been a therapist for ver 15 years (I do CBT). It can really help. Is it something you have considered?

I have considered it before, but I'm just mainly worried about the costs, and whether there are free options available online.

 

[Chris04]

It isn't wrong thinking about death at your age, as some say it is. You are simply contemplating your place in the world, and these thoughts that you are having are a natural response to all circumstances involved in your life. My only concern is that you aren't thinking about suicide.

I'm currently thinking about it as I type this.

 

[Larniavc]

I have considered it before, but I'm just mainly worried about the costs, and whether there are free options available online.

I have prescribed this application to many patients over the years. It does cost about £25 but that gives you access for 12 months.

moodgym - FAQ

moodgym is an interactive self-help program that provides cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) training to help users prevent and cope with depression and anxiety.

moodgym.com.au

I hope you find it useful.

 

[Jonaitis]

I'm currently thinking about it as I type this.

Well, I hope I can discourage you.

You are really young, and yet haven't lived to see the next chapter in your life. Don't you want to see what happens next? Death is already inevitable for all of us, so there is no reason to shorten our time on earth. "God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). It is a precious privilege to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. It seems contrary to reason to end so abruptly such a beautiful gift of experiencing life and all that it offers.

 

[Robban]

I'm currently thinking about it as I type this.

It is your granmother and stepfather who needs therapy.

You do not need be constantly reminded of who your father is or what he has done.

My thoughts.

 

[eleos1954]

I'm the son of a deadbeat father myself, and I'll be 19 in March. I keep thinking back to certain clues and events throughout my life, and I don't know why, but I feel like I should die. I don't feel scared to die, however I do feel sad and excited whenever I think about it.

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Anyways, my grandmother hates my dad, my stepdad does too, and I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

Life is extremely important to the Lord .... you are extremely important to the Lord.

In this earthly life we often experience awful things, sometimes through no fault of our own.

If you haven't yet, you should forgive those who have in any way committed an offense on you. Perhaps if you were to do this then you could become a testament to others in your family .... ie when they express hate .... just simply state to your family members that you have forgiven him and refuse to harbor hateful feelings towards him. This would be a wonderful way to serve the Lord ... by helping others.

We are not to fear death .... but we are not to desire it.

You have a wonderful Father in heaven who loves you more than you can imagine ... and He is very much aware of what all of us are going through .... He is there to help us through our struggles no matter what they are.

May you be at peace knowing the Love of God. Amen.

 

[comana]

I'm the son of a deadbeat father myself, and I'll be 19 in March. I keep thinking back to certain clues and events throughout my life, and I don't know why, but I feel like I should die. I don't feel scared to die, however I do feel sad and excited whenever I think about it.

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Anyways, my grandmother hates my dad, my stepdad does too, and I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

I think being surrounded by so much negativity is toxic. Therapy can certainly help you find your own path in life that leaves that negativity behind. Looking at death as a positive is a symptom of the toxicity you are surrounded with.

Give therapy a chance. It’s not whining. When entered into with an open mind, it is a journey to understand yourself and what you need to give yourself to be the person you want to be and to live a life you can be happy in.

 

[Benjamin Müller]

Ezekiel 18:4-9 “Behold, all souls are Mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine; the soul who sins shall die. But if a man is just and does what is lawful and right; if he has not eaten on the mountains, nor lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, nor defiled his neighbor’s wife, nor approached a woman during her impurity; if he has not oppressed anyone, but has restored to the debtor his pledge; has robbed no one by violence, but has given his bread to the hungry and covered the naked with clothing; If he has not exacted usury nor taken any increase, but has withdrawn his hand from iniquity and executed true judgment between man and man; If he has walked in My statutes and kept My judgments faithfully—He is just; He shall surely live!” Says the Lord God.


[14] “If, however, he begets a son Who sees all the sins which his father has done, And considers but does not do likewise; . . . He shall surely live!

[19] “Yet you say, ‘Why should the son not bear the guilt of the father?’ Because the son has done what is lawful and right, and has kept all My statutes and observed them, he shall surely live. The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.


[32] For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,” says the Lord God. “Therefore turn and live!”


Reverse the curse. If your father is despised with good reason then turn from his ways and walk according to God's ways. Because even if you have a biological father that has failed you, you have a Heavenly Father that will never fail you. If anyone cuts you down for being your father's son remember that you have a heaven;y father and you were created in His image.

 

[Ceallaigh]

I have considered it before, but I'm just mainly worried about the costs, and whether there are free options available online.

There are chaplins right here on this forum. They can point you in the right direction. I've gotten lots of free counseling.

 

[stevevw]

I'm the son of a deadbeat father myself, and I'll be 19 in March. I keep thinking back to certain clues and events throughout my life, and I don't know why, but I feel like I should die. I don't feel scared to die, however I do feel sad and excited whenever I think about it.

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Anyways, my grandmother hates my dad, my stepdad does too, and I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

You can look at it two ways or maybe more. But I too had a dad who died not live up to mine or many other peoples expectations. I guess nowadays there are many in that situation. But from experience (often the hard way) the good thing I find is that we are capable of creating our own scenario if we want. There are choices along the way where it can make a difference to which road we travel.

Sometimes we have to be more or less coaxed into making the right choice but then we see the benefits though they are not apparent at first. Sometimes the road is hard as it doesn't have any immediate payoff and for young people payoff is all important. But as we persist and as we get older we begin to see the benefit of sacrifice for something greater beyond what we thought was important. Of course you need help along the way. That's the key, admitting and acknowledging that we need people in our lives to help us. Its way to hard to make something of your life without any support.

Just like we can fill our lives with negative connections building up positive connections can help us change our situation. Your dad seems to you a negative connection. Maybe he is or maybe that's how you see him at the moment without understanding him. I know I came to see my dad differently once I had grown and overcome some issues of my own. Maybe he didn't have the same opportunities or mental state that allowed him to be something that meets the expectations of others. Nevertheless what has happened cannot be changed but the now and future can be.

Maybe the local church, getting involved in volunteering or connection with local community groups, getting a support worker, counsellor or mentor if needed. But we can certainly change things bit by bit. It won't happen overnight but it will happen. Its entirely up to you the individual. Then maybe one day you have a kid of your own and you can break the chains that you experienced and this will also help you as you will be changing not only your own story but creating a new one (hopefully a better one) in this world.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

If God wanted you dead, you would be dead. When it comes to life-and-death, don't think for a minute you are wiser than God.

 

[Diamond7]

would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his

You do not have to follow his example. To be born again means to be a new creation in Christ. YOU can be the person God always intended you to be. I was a single parent so I know there are issues with all of that. But we can live the life of victory as an overcome.

 

[Diamond7]

If God wanted you dead, you would be dead. When it comes to life-and-death, don't think for a minute you are wiser than God.

The enemy wants to lie, cheat, steal, and destroy. The cure is to give thanks, praise, glory & honor to God and He will deliver us from all of that negativism.

 

[zippy2006]

Should the son of a deadbeat biological father be put to death?

"The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son; the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself." (Ezekiel 18:20)

...I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

Sure, you were unlucky. We are all unlucky in various ways and lucky in others. God has given you other gifts which you are probably not thinking about. Having a bad father is a difficult cross to bear, but we must "suffer with him that we may be glorified with him" (Romans 8:17). Bear your cross and seek God's grace, and "he will not leave you as an orphan" (John 14:18). You are not your father. The fact that you are ashamed of his faults shows that you are already a better man.

 

[biblelesson]

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Just because people say they believe in God doesn’t mean they really do. Your mother, grandmother, and stepfather are psychologically abusing you by putting your father down. They are not acting according to God’s commands - to love one another. Have they forgotten we are all sinners, so they are making themselves to be holy while putting down one of God’s creations.

If you continue to listen to them you are going to be further confused, because they are confused.

You can’t judge yourself and situations based on what people say. God calls us away from the people in our family and separates us.

We are commanded to honor our mother and father. No one should cause you to hate your father - they are committing a grave sin to do so. You don’t know the trouble your father may have had to contend with as a child and he may have been affected.

Not even Michael the arch angel brought accusations against the devil, Jude 1:9. We are given this scripture to let us know that we cannot bring accusations against one another, and if the angels respected God and did not overstep their positions having been created the same type of being as Satan, then we cannot overstep our position as humans on this earth having been created the same as the man we want to condemn.

You have to reject what they are saying to you - they are sinning, and causing you to sin as well.

 

[Raika]

I'm the son of a deadbeat father myself, and I'll be 19 in March. I keep thinking back to certain clues and events throughout my life, and I don't know why, but I feel like I should die. I don't feel scared to die, however I do feel sad and excited whenever I think about it.

My mother, grandmother, and stepfather, who are all believers of God and the Bible, looks down on my biological dad and his family. And rightfully so, since my dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 2, and we both had to go back to living with my grandmother.

Anyways, my grandmother hates my dad, my stepdad does too, and I'm pretty sure anyone else who knew that my dad was a deadbeat would hate him too, and would see me as unlucky for being a male child of his.

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

I had a somewhat similar situation. My mother was mentally ill and for the last 4 years of her existence of earth, she could no longer provide me with love and care as a mother due to her mental health. She windup overdosing on heroin. Believe me, I had the same thoughts as you... I felt that I wasn't worth living... I even blame myself for what happened to my mother. At the end of the day what you need to do to improve yourself is to use your father as an example of what not to do... I bet when the time comes... you'll be a much better father to your children due to your personal experience. Please keep your chin up and remember that you are worthy of living <3

 

[FireDragon76]

I guess. But that just goes to show how worthless this world, and life in general actually is. People tell you to "go to therapy", just so you can pay someone else to listen to you whine about your own problems. Like, bruh. Lmao.

A good therapist will do more than listening. But yes, listening is very important, too.

Part of therapy is mirroring healthy listening, healthy thinking, and healthy relationships.

 

[Diamond7]

When I keep thinking about all of this, it makes the concept of death seem less and less scary. What do y'all think?

Life is more difficult for children from single-parent families. God gives us the strength to go on and we do have a reason and a purpose in life. WE all have gifts, talents, and abilities. We should use what we were given at birth to bring praise, honor, and glory to God. There is nothing wrong with your DNA. You just have a father that is setting a bad example for you. This is an epidemic. I have a son that is constantly being offered a job in the inner city to work with children to be a role model and to show them how to live right and straighten out their life. There must be a sports program or some sort of program somewhere where you can find people who will set a good example for you and show you how to live a successful and productive life. Even people with a good father can still do better than what their father did. We do not have to allow them to belittle us and drag us down. We only need to find a way to be positive and if we cannot encourage ourselves then find someone to encourage us. If you feel like there is some sort of generational curse, there are people who can help you to pray about that and overcome that situation. God wants us to live and life is always the right choice and we should prepare ourself to live a long life. Even if that seems absurd and impossible. I never thought I would make it to 70. I was amazed when I lived past 30 and 40. If I had known I may have lived better and taken better care of myself.