One day, a pirate walked into a bar. The bartender asked "Hey, why do you have a peg-leg?" "Aargh, twas hit with a cannonball" the pirate replied.
Eventually, the bartender got curious about another injury on the pirate, and asked "So, why do you have a hook for a hand?" "Yargh, lost my hand in a sword fight" said the pirate.
Figuring that the pirate was okay with answering these questions, the bartender asked "What's with the eyepatch?" "Bird droppings" the pirate said. "Wait, how could that cause you to lose an eye?" questioned the bartender. The pirate looked at his hook and said "just wasn't used to having a hook for a hand at the time, alright?"