Is there any truth to what he saying?

[Sketcher]

There's more money in platitudes than remedies. I think most of their audience desires to be heard and understood. Some are looking for validation or something that reinforces the notion they're not to blame. I don't think they're acceptable examples of masculinity as the Lord presents. Nor are their lifestyles worthy of emulation. They're libertines.

Many are dazzled by their wealth and material spoils and want the same. But there's a dark side to that path. They're never settled and always have others. Too many to count. They pursue women they can mold who accept their behavior without complaint. The majority have a god complex. He's their orbit and whatever he says is right.

They expect conformity, obedience, respect and admiration. They don't like challenges and punishment is swift. And they're not a fan of rules. They're controlling and domineering and demand subservience. She's not his equal or beneath him. She's at his feet. That's her place. As you would expect their appetites follow suit.

I've known men like that and avoid them. There's no autonomy with him. He tells you how to think, how to feel, how to behave and so on. Your identity is in him. And you'll never be kept unless you're broken. Your worldview mirrors his.

There's a lot of indoctrination and conditioning. That's why they appeal to men. They know how to get in your head because they do it elsewhere. There's a lot of parallels with Stockholm Syndrome if you know what to look for. That's what's really behind the manosphere.

~bella

They do talk about real problems that many people don't want to acknowledge or are afraid to acknowledge. That's how they built their audiences, the glitz was secondary to that. Their problems are the ways they chose to deal with the issues. Those issues must be dealt with, but according to God's way instead.

 

[bèlla]

They do talk about real problems that many people don't want to acknowledge or are afraid to acknowledge. That's how they built their audiences, the glitz was secondary to that. Their problems are the ways they chose to deal with the issues. Those issues must be dealt with, but according to God's way instead.

They address difficult subjects many are afraid to confront. But their methods are wrong and won't mimic God because the root is elsewhere. In spite of the positives I have reservations about their content. Especially for Christian men. Not because you're weak or unable to handle challenging topics. They don't grapple with the things you confront. Or live with the denial. They have liberties you lack. Your pool is narrower than theirs.

You have to find the woman whose character and faith complements your own. It has to be organic or open to influence. You're not going to force the issue or have others who fill the void. Which requires greater discernment and selectivity. You're mating for life not for the moment. And when that's the goal the stakes are great.

Whereas Christianity values becoming. She won't be perfect at the onset and nor will you. You'll get better with time. You view people differently when that's the case. No one has it altogether and we forget that a lot. You're unlikely to meet the woman of your dreams. She becomes it with time and effort and presence (yours and God's).

We'd all be paired if we were willing to struggle and accept some imperfections. That's our stumbling block most of the time. We can't see the other clearly. The must-have's impede us. One day you come to your senses and see what you've missed.

You're very level-headed. I assume you excel at problem solving?

~bella

 

[Sketcher]

You're very level-headed. I assume you excel at problem solving?

That's how I make my money.

 

[bèlla]

That's how I make my money.

I wasn't aware of that but I've noticed the pattern in your posts. It's a wonderful skill to have. Were you always that way?

 

[Sketcher]

I wasn't aware of that but I've noticed the pattern in your posts. It's a wonderful skill to have. Were you always that way?

No I wasn't. I had to train that part of me because being more rash than does not benefit me as a person, nor is it conducive to the outcomes I want and need. It still exists, I try not to show it here.

You have to find the woman whose character and faith complements your own. It has to be organic or open to influence. You're not going to force the issue or have others who fill the void. Which requires greater discernment and selectivity. You're mating for life not for the moment. And when that's the goal the stakes are great.

Yes, that is true - and my point with all this is that it dismayed me over the years to find women here who profess the faith and have some of those attitudes that are universally bad. It's one thing if it's all non-Christian women who have those. I can't expect better of non-Christian women even though some are better than others. But in the church - I should be able to expect much better of women as a baseline, but I no longer can. I believe there are still women in the church who really do get it and really do have what I need to have in a wife, but having those Godly morals and qualities shouldn't be exceptional in the church, they should be standard. From what I've seen, that's not the case, and that's a problem.

 

[bèlla]

No I wasn't. I had to train that part of me because being more rash than does not benefit me as a person, nor is it conducive to the outcomes I want and need. It still exists, I try not to show it here.

Self-control is an admirable strength and one I hold in high esteem. It makes an incredible difference in your relationship when it's present. And when it dwells with both you'll rarely have conflict. That may sound impossible but it's not.

I dated someone in the past and we never argued in all the time we've been acquainted. I've never raised my voice to him nor he has done the same. It never crossed our mind to bicker. He was reared in a home when differences were handled privately. He never heard it. I was too young to remember my parent's disagreements.

We process discomfort in silence and settle ourselves before addressing the issue. That's why we're calm. Yelling makes me nervous. Not out of fear. It's unsettling and peace is preferable. I respond similarly to anger. Too much and I become skittish. I'm uncertain why. I do better with calm temperaments.

Yes, that is true - and my point with all this is that it dismayed me over the years to find women here who profess the faith and have some of those attitudes that are universally bad. It's one thing if it's all non-Christian women who have those. I can't expect better of non-Christian women even though some are better than others. But in the church - I should be able to expect much better of women as a baseline, but I no longer can. I believe there are still women in the church who really do get it and really do have what I need to have in a wife, but having those Godly morals and qualities shouldn't be exceptional in the church, they should be standard. From what I've seen, that's not the case, and that's a problem.

We're all influenced by our surroundings and the messages we consume. The impact differs for each but no one's unscathed. Women are heavily indoctrinated. It takes great acuity and resistance to push the bad morsels out. Especially when they're touted at home, school and amongst your peers. A few will take root and I'd assume the same holds true for men.

In spite of my delight and support for traditional values I haven't gone untouched. I didn't hear feminist rhetoric but I've had my share of wrong influences in my ear. I've addressed a lot with the Lord's help but I'm still not done. There's room for improvement.

What's helped me thus far is recognizing that others have similar dilemmas. Some beliefs are tied to painful experiences that must be addressed beforehand. And we still have blindspots. That's when we require input from those who see what we don't.

Oftentimes we're desirous of a response and others aren't aware. They can't read between the lines or hear our hearts. We have to assist them when possible. You may need to hear it's okay or something pertinent to your experience. But I can't read your mind nor can others. We must be willing to open just a tad and let them in.

I try to affirm what I sense and encourage what's hidden. But if I've missed the mark I'm sorry. I haven't had a lot of years with Christian peers. My companions lived differently. I'm still learning as are the rest. God willing we'll get better.

~bella