Is it possible to be over-affectionate

[Blaise N]

Hi everyone,

Im asking a question to married couples.As a single Guy,I’ve gradually began to value what a gift marriage can be.And quite frankly,I’ve encountered many men who joke about and often criticize their wives as Jokes,often times referring to them as “old lady”.Like I’ve said also in the past,my dad has a temper,and he on occasion looses his cool and yells at my mom and in rare cases makes her cry.And it disgusts me.I see a wife as a cherishable diamond that needs a caretaker and a protector,A daughter of the lord that needs a protector.

I take on stories my fraternal grandmother has told me about her father,who she says was the sweetest man and loved his wife to death,always hugging and kissing her and never rose his voice at her either.My grandmother even told me she never once saw them fight.

And one day I told myself I want to be like him.Now In the past I’ve read peoples accounts,all from women,who claim their husbands are “too affectionate”.Now since I’m a guy,I don’t know what emotional things go through a girl when she’s married,but I’ve always thought that she needs constant affection,which I have no problem at all giving.I don’t view that as an obstacle nor a chore,and I certainly would show my wife affection just to get sex out of her ever.

but when I marry,I plan to always hug,kiss,and give her constant attention and affection.Never to raise my voice at her and to never fight with her either,and never to ever make her cry.But is it possible to be too affectionate? Can a man be too physically affectionate?,

 

[HARK!]

MOD HAT ON

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[Sabertooth]

But is it possible to be too affectionate? Can a man be too physically affectionate?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer.
Ideal spouses are each other's lover; the level of best friend that is only surpassed by Jesus.
You should have similar ideals of affection by the time you get to that place.
Being human, you will still annoy each other from time to time, but that will not define your relationship.

 

[mama2one]

her father,who she says was the sweetest man and loved his wife to death,always hugging and kissing her and never rose his voice at her either.My grandmother even told me she never once saw them fight.And one day I told myself I want to be like him.,

sounds like a good role model!

my husband is also kind, considerate, & has never yelled at me, not once

I backed car into garage door taking kid to school
husband tried to fix it but it had to be replaced
I said "you didn't yell at me."
he said "what good would that do?"

 

[Llleopard]

Agree that it really depends on the couple! Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages describes different ways people express/recieve love. Some people feel most loved when they are physically touched, but another might prefer words, or spending time together. It works best when we show love in all the different ways but understand which way communicates most clearly to our partner.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

It can also depend on the day, hour, mood that BOTH of you are in. My wife worked in day care for years and during the week, she had had enough of physical contact with kids that even cuddling on the couch was too much. I spent most of my days working by myself so I craved any kind of physical contact. Talk with her about about what you both want and need.

I will second the Love Languages concept as a starting point. It points you to how you feel or express love. Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. For example, you may not be a big fan of gifts, yes, appreciative but a hug makes your day. Your SO may place gifts as a high priority. I'm not talking about a new diamond ring each week, but she may really value a card, flowers, or even a note. So if she is writing notes for you in your lunch and you want cuddles on the couch, the two of you may not understand that you are missing each other's communication style.