I'm swamped with guilt for nearly hurting my mother twice from negligent stupidity

[SaltandLightTeacher]

When I was in my late teens/early 20's my mother was diagnosed with a possible allergy to wasps/bees. Some time later a wasp nest cropped up under a windowsill in the yard and I was surprised at how well it was hidden. Our dogs were nosing at it and were being ignored. So, I decided to show my mum, I took her into the yard and pointed it out. I did remember her allergy, but didn't really think there was a risk due to the dogs being safe.
She was surprised and in hindsight maybe scared, reminding me of her allergy. I just shrugged it off back then as she wasn't stung and I hadn't felt that there was much danger, they weren't aggressive and the allergy wasn't certain.
I'm not good with people and it's only years after that I really started thinking on just how badly it could have gone. She never really brought it up afterwards.

Similarly, I worked for my parents, and was tasked with disposing of some liquid nitrogen. My dad used to chuck the last little bit on the floor in front of us as a joke sometimes, and I once thought I'd emulate him and aimed in front of my mum's feet. My dad immediately scolded me, my mum was thankfully protected by her long pants though her hems got a little iced. I could have burned her and I feel so horrible years later.

It's been so long that I can't even remember if I apologised properly. I just feel like a terrible human being. I'm sorry that this is a bit of a vent. I honestly plan to call her tomorrow to talk about this. I sometimes get OCD (anxiety?) symptoms which are probably why this hit me so strongly. I feel like I should be in jail, even though nothing happened. Though that's probably the OCD talking.

Please pray for me. I feel like my mind is jumping from one thing to another to be guilty about and I'm struggling to keep up.

 

[SaltandLightTeacher]

I do apologise for the rant, my mental health has been troublesome lately.

 

[AlexB23]

When I was in my late teens/early 20's my mother was diagnosed with a possible allergy to wasps/bees. Some time later a wasp nest cropped up under a windowsill in the yard and I was surprised at how well it was hidden. Our dogs were nosing at it and were being ignored. So, I decided to show my mum, I took her into the yard and pointed it out. I did remember her allergy, but didn't really think there was a risk due to the dogs being safe.
She was surprised and in hindsight maybe scared, reminding me of her allergy. I just shrugged it off back then as she wasn't stung and I hadn't felt that there was much danger, they weren't aggressive and the allergy wasn't certain.
I'm not good with people and it's only years after that I really started thinking on just how badly it could have gone. She never really brought it up afterwards.

Similarly, I worked for my parents, and was tasked with disposing of some liquid nitrogen. My dad used to chuck the last little bit on the floor in front of us as a joke sometimes, and I once thought I'd emulate him and aimed in front of my mum's feet. My dad immediately scolded me, my mum was thankfully protected by her long pants though her hems got a little iced. I could have burned her and I feel so horrible years later.

It's been so long that I can't even remember if I apologised properly. I just feel like a terrible human being. I'm sorry that this is a bit of a vent. I honestly plan to call her tomorrow to talk about this. I sometimes get OCD (anxiety?) symptoms which are probably why this hit me so strongly. I feel like I should be in jail, even though nothing happened. Though that's probably the OCD talking.

Please pray for me. I feel like my mind is jumping from one thing to another to be guilty about and I'm struggling to keep up.

This is my short response: I have anxiety myself, but have never done this. It is cool that you worked in a lab though, liquid N2 is fascinating stuff. We all do dumb stuff, but God forgives us. For the wasp nest, you could have let your dad look at it, or called the dogs away from the nest, but hey, as teens, we all made mistakes. In both cases, your mum is fine.


Here is a more detailed answer (hopefully I used the right verses):

I'm here to listen and offer you comfort and guidance based on God's word. It's clear that you're carrying a heavy burden of guilt over past actions, and I want to assure you that you're not alone in feeling this way. The Bible has much to say about forgiveness, redemption, and the importance of seeking God's guidance in our lives.

Firstly, regarding your concern for your mother's safety and the wasp nest incident, Isaiah 43:18-19 states, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and grow in wisdom. Your concern for your mother's well-being shows that you have a good heart.

As for the incident with liquid nitrogen, Proverbs 11:2 says, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." It's important to recognize that even though you didn't intend harm, your actions could have caused harm. The Bible encourages us to seek forgiveness when we have wronged someone (Matthew 5:23-24). You plan to call your mother and talk about this, which is a courageous step.

Regarding your feelings of guilt and the OCD symptoms, I encourage you to pray for peace and understanding from God. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." It's crucial to remember that God forgives us when we confess our sins and turn away from them. Additionally, 2 Timothy 1:7 states, "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

I hope these Bible verses provide some comfort and guidance for you in this situation. Praying that God will give you peace, wisdom, and strength as you seek forgiveness and growth in your relationships with others. May He bless you abundantly! (Psalm 23:5)

 

[JesusFollowerForever]

Don't worry about it, just focus on positive things, like Jesus second coming? the Kingdom of heaven, these things.....

Here is a poem I concocted this morning first appearance ever, I dedicate it to you.

Songs of Law and Light: A Psalm of Transformation

In the quiet of dawn, I seek Your word,
Inscribed on tablets, divine and stirred.
Your law, a beacon, guides my soul's flight,
In its wisdom, I find eternal light.

Oh, how sweet are the precepts You bestow,
In them, my heart finds solace and flow.
They revive my spirit, refine my ways,
In Your statutes, I lift my voice in praise.

As a stream of water to the parched land,
So is Your law, upon which I stand.
It nourishes my being, restores my sight,
In its truth, I find endless delight.

Through the trials and tribulations, I endure,
Your commandments, my shield, ever pure.
They shape my steps, they mold my heart,
In Your guidance, I find my lasting part.

With each decree, a melody of grace,
In Your law, I see Your loving face.
It transforms my being, it sets me free,
In Your statutes, I find eternity.

Oh, how blessed are those who heed Your call,
Their lives, a testament to Your law.
In its goodness, we are changed anew,
In Your presence, we find life's breakthrough.

Peace be upon you.

 

[Diamond7]

Please pray for me.

Whatever the problem we have, we just have to pray it through until God gives us peace. He has infinite understanding and we are finite so we are limited so we have to trust in Him to give us answers and solutions to whatever issues we are dealing with.