Im 34, new to church, and never pursued or been attracted to a church girl...until now:

[terrible-chocolate89]

Are you certain the Lord is behind it? You have free will. If you've developed an attraction is He to blame? You went there to worship and in the course of doing so you saw someone you liked.

i have free will, but over the pass few months i have seen God also playing a (seemingly) very active role in my life, my mind, etc. i dont want to give my whole life story here, but i know certainly God is actively rebuilding who I am, at my very core. hard to explain, but it feel like God has really taken the reins in my life since 2024 started. it was a free will choice to go to church. it was a free will choice to start taking better care of my body. but I believe God influenced these decisions

And liking her is a choice.

idk, i dont think you help who youre attracted too. pursuing her or whatever is a choice but i did not choose the attraction in general

From what you've posted thus far you seem to get carried away and spend too much time in your head. Overthinking is your nemesis.

yes and yes.

If you're consistently developing one-sided attractions that might suggest you're unable to recognize interest or oblivious to reciprocity until you're too invested.

probably

Why are you blaming God for your choices? Why are you blaming him for your emotional attachments?

i wouldnt say its a blame. but my heart is softened to want certain things

It's evident your desire for a companion is influencing your behavior but you can't be ruled by your thoughts or feelings. They must be harnessed.

In light of what you've shared you'd be better off holding yourself in check until an acquaintance is in place and you're able to gauge their interest through your interactions. If you don't excel at reading the opposite sex stop expecting yourself to do things you struggle with.

i like to solve things. if im facing an issue like this attraction....i want to solve it, i want to fast forward to the result. the idea of the "chase", trying to do this chess game of timing, when it is appropriate to say this or that, how to get to know her, etc etc....i hate it because i dont feel in control of it. and i dont mean im a control freak exactly, its just...theres not much i can do about it.

Slow down and take a deep breath. It isn't the end if the world and you don't know where things are heading. If you approach your connections in this state you'll be upset. It doesn't have to work. You're not desperate and she isn't the only one in the Kingdom to choose from.

its not exactly desperation. its just....i have wanted to be a husband and father since i was a teenager. and that doesnt mean this girl will be the wife or mother of my children. but anytime there is potential for that kind of thing, i get excited and in my head...

i have giant, vibrant mural of things to be grateful for. friends and family, and all kinds of blessings. but this mural has always had a blemish or blank spot in that, i have not obtained this goal of finding a good, solid woman in my life. this has always been a sticking point for me, and ive been praying for a wife for a long time.

im not saying God owes me this. Everything according to His will, not mine. But this blank spot weighs so much. it feels like the only thing truly missing, and its a bi source of hurt for me

so when i see God blessing me with so many things, i often wonder if this is blessing is ever coming. i have a home...but i want to be blessed with a family to fill it. God knows it is not good for man to be alone...why am i? its feels, for most of my life i have been doing something wrong and that is why a wife has eluded me. which is true. past addictions and all this kind of stuff. but now that God has pointed me on a path to better know Him and have a stronger relationship with Him, and im living correctly (or more correctly than i was)....i feel like more blessings with come my way.

Stop living with a scarcity mindset and make peace with your desire for marriage. The right girl is more important than a crush. Don't lose your head. Make a list of the qualities you desire in a future spouse and ask for them in prayer. Then let it go.

The blessing of the LORD brings [true] riches, And He adds no sorrow to it [for it comes as a blessing from God].

the right woman starts as a crush, dont you think? no one can say, and thats what is driving me insane.

thanks for listening to my rambling/venting/whatever

 

[bèlla]

i have free will, but over the pass few months i have seen God also playing a (seemingly) very active role in my life, my mind, etc. i dont want to give my whole life story here, but i know certainly God is actively rebuilding who I am, at my very core. hard to explain, but it feel like God has really taken the reins in my life since 2024 started.

God isn't putting women in your path for unrequited connections. It's inconsistent with His character. In the course of your walk you'll encounter many people. Every woman you meet that you find attractive isn't the result of His influence.

idk, i dont think you help who youre attracted too. pursuing her or whatever is a choice but i did not choose the attraction in general

You are capable of resisting attractions and advances It happens all the time. Just because a desire exists doesn't mean it should be pursued.

i like to solve things. if im facing an issue like this attraction....i want to solve it, i want to fast forward to the result. the idea of the "chase", trying to do this chess game of timing, when it is appropriate to say this or that, how to get to know her, etc etc....i hate it because i dont feel in control of it. and i dont mean im a control freak exactly, its just...theres not much i can do about it.

Problem-solving requires practical deduction and an ability to examine the dilemma and the steps you've taken for its resolution. You've acknowledged a pattern of failed pursuits which suggests a flaw in your analysis. If x approach hasn't delivered the desired result doing the same is counterproductive. You have to try another and keep testing them until you find your sweet spot and have consistent results with that method. That's when you know it works.

Why do you want to fast forward the result when the preliminaries are giving you trouble? That isn't a green light for speed. You'd have far less anxiety if you played to your strengths and admitted the necessity of taking your time. While some can race ahead that doesn't mean it's the appropriate choice for everyone. You have to do what works for you. If that means slowing down so be it.

its not exactly desperation. its just....i have wanted to be a husband and father since i was a teenager. and that doesnt mean this girl will be the wife or mother of my children. but anytime there is potential for that kind of thing, i get excited and in my head...

How do you know there's potential? What does it rest upon? Until she reciprocates your interest and expresses a desire for furtherance nothing exists. No matter the attraction, discourse or fuzzy feelings. I'd restrain my excitement until I knew where I stood.

im not saying God owes me this. Everything according to His will, not mine. But this blank spot weighs so much. it feels like the only thing truly missing, and its a bi source of hurt for me

That's understandable. Many can relate to that. But making it a focus will only increase the hurt. Whatever you feed will grow. If you dwell on the lack of companion frequently you're going to feel miserable. It's cause and effect.

When I was in a similar position I directed my prayers in two areas. I prayed ardently for my future spouse and covered him in prayer. I didn't pray for a spouse that often. Once it was clear that was His plan I prayed for the person instead. Do you know what a difference you can make in the other's life when you pray through the wait? And I asked the Lord to prepare me to be the wife he needs.

the right woman starts as a crush, dont you think? no one can say, and thats what is driving me insane.

thanks for listening to my rambling/venting/whatever

It depends. In your case I doubt it's helpful.

Personally, I'm not a fan of crushes. I like to know where we stand and if we're compatible. Everything is moot until that's settled. That alleviates emotional highs and disappointments. If I like him I know he likes me back. What comes after is a mystery but in that respect we're on the same page.

Euphoria comes after the altar. That's when you can dance on the clouds and let yourself go. You've sealed the deal and you've earned it. But until that occurs you have to remain level-headed. They can always change their mind.

Read @DragonFox91's thread on truth. He's come a long way and you'll see the result of reigning things in and not giving voice to every thought or emotion. Sometimes they must be cast down and that's a tool in your arsenal that should be used.

It sounds cliche but mastering your thoughts is the key. The mind is a tool that can be brought under submission as is the heart. Don't let them drive you to a place that robs you of your joy and peace of mind. Trust the Father and you'll be fine.

~bella

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

God isn't putting women in your path for unrequited connections. It's inconsistent with His character. In the course of your walk you'll encounter many people. Every woman you meet that you find attractive isn't the result of His influence.



You are capable of resisting attractions and advances It happens all the time. Just because a desire exists doesn't mean it should be pursued.



Problem-solving requires practical deduction and an ability to examine the dilemma and the steps you've taken for its resolution. You've acknowledged a pattern of failed pursuits which suggests a flaw in your analysis. If x approach hasn't delivered the desired result doing the same is counterproductive. You have to try another and keep testing them until you find your sweet spot and have consistent results with that method. That's when you know it works.

Why do you want to fast forward the result when the preliminaries are giving you trouble? That isn't a green light for speed. You'd have far less anxiety if you played to your strengths and admitted the necessity of taking your time. While some can race ahead that doesn't mean it's the appropriate choice for everyone. You have to do what works for you. If that means slowing down so be it.



How do you know there's potential? What does it rest upon? Until she reciprocates your interest and expresses a desire for furtherance nothing exists. No matter the attraction, discourse or fuzzy feelings. I'd restrain my excitement until I knew where I stood.



That's understandable. Many can relate to that. But making it a focus will only increase the hurt. Whatever you feed will grow. If you dwell on the lack of companion frequently you're going to feel miserable. It's cause and effect.

When I was in a similar position I directed my prayers in two areas. I prayed ardently for my future spouse and covered him in prayer. I didn't pray for a spouse that often. Once it was clear that was His plan I prayed for the person instead. Do you know what a difference you can make in the other's life when you pray through the wait? And I asked the Lord to prepare me to be the wife he needs.



It depends. In your case I doubt it's helpful.

Personally, I'm not a fan of crushes. I like to know where we stand and if we're compatible. Everything is moot until that's settled. That alleviates emotional highs and disappointments. If I like him I know he likes me back. What comes after is a mystery but in that respect we're on the same page.

Euphoria comes after the altar. That's when you can dance on the clouds and let yourself go. You've sealed the deal and you've earned it. But until that occurs you have to remain level-headed. They can always change their mind.

Read @DragonFox91's thread on truth. He's come a long way and you'll see the result of reigning things in and not giving voice to every thought or emotion. Sometimes they must be cast down and that's a tool in your arsenal that should be used.

It sounds cliche but mastering your thoughts is the key. The mind is a tool that can be brought under submission as is the heart. Don't let them drive you to a place that robs you of your joy and peace of mind. Trust the Father and you'll be fine.

~bella

i understand what you mean, and i feel like im coming across wrong

i have an initial attraction to this girl...what i mean in terms of "potential" is, i get a good feeling from her, and she's a woman. thus far, i really dont know anything else about her other than this initial feeling she gives me, and her love of God. i meet and interact with women all the time, its not like im attracted to or have any kind of urge to connect with them. i see gorgeous women in church every week, but there is no eh "spark", for lack of a better word that says "Hey!". but certain people do attract you or...stick out to you (right? please dont tell me im crazy for thinking this!?). it is a different type of attraction ive not yet experienced, not tied to something like lust or drug use or some other worldly thing. because of this, it makes me want to see where it goes

im not saying i am trying to propose to jump into having a kid with her or anything, that isnt what i meant. i want to discover and find out more to this woman in general to see what she is like and where that can go.

you say some temptations should be cast down...how do you decide which ones?

you also say what you feed will grow? then is it wrong to feed my attraction to her?

I also dont know what you mean by "you dont like crushes"....you just met your husband and immediately got married with no initial attraction beforehand? im obviously being hyperbolic with this question, but what i mean is, all relationships grow from a seed of attraction, no? you were initially attracted to your husband in someway initially, potentially at the same level i am attracted to this girl...this is probably the case for all relationships, dont you think?

Granted i do get fixated, and i do overthink, both my own self esteem, but also this "problem solver" part of me likes to look at every angle, for better or worse. but the fixation is more "what can i do to move forward and how do i do it correctly and appropriately?" the overthinking is not "i want this girl to have my babies and how do i plan our wedding," which i feel you may have been thinking lol when i said i want to fast forward, i didnt mean move the relationship fast, i meant i just want to see the end to see if im wasting my time or not. like i wish god would just come and say "nope, this isnt the right one youre looking for, next"...and i feel in the past He actually has done that for me.

of course i do long and want for a wife and family. i do suffer from loneliness, especially recently (stemming from seeing friends start relationships, cutting addictions out of my life, etc etc). my view is, any woman im interested in or attracted to (when they pop up, which is not super common) is worth getting to know and possibly (romantically) pursuing. if you had prayed for an ideal spouse (whatever that means to you) and a really good person gets your attention, dont you think it's a good idea to look into this person you've met?

as much as i long for someone i do have certain standards and desires in relation to a partner. in this case, the woman from church checks SOME/a few of those boxes, is it wrong for me to go down the road and seeing how much and how compatible we might be?

bless you i dont mean to argue or be combative. just unsure how to handle things like this, as my OP states, a lot what im experiencing in life now, is new territory.

 

[bèlla]

you say some temptations should be cast down...how do you decide which ones?

Don't you know which thoughts are detrimental to your welfare? Haven't you experienced the consequences of indulging them? There's always a point from the moment it comes to mind and you decide to act when changing course is possible. What determines your willingness to put on the breaks is the thing that makes you stop. For some it's faith, morality, self-preservation, etc.

If you don't want more of the bad stuff then don't do the following (things that trip you up) and shutdown the thoughts when they occur. That's how you stay on track.

you also say what you feed will grow? then is it wrong to feed my attraction to her?

I can't answer that for you. But look what you've written. Is that the experience you want to have? Do you want to be relaxed and enjoy your interactions or stressing about unknowns? You have to get better acquainted but the way you go about it is your choice.

I also dont know what you mean by "you dont like crushes"....you just met your husband and immediately got married with no initial attraction beforehand? im obviously being hyperbolic with this question, but what i mean is, all relationships grow from a seed of attraction, no? you were initially attracted to your husband in someway initially, potentially at the same level i am attracted to this girl...this is probably the case for all relationships, dont you think?

I'm not married but I am attached and each person responds to attractions differently. Crushes don't appeal because answering the question is more important than fantasizing. If an interest exists that needs to be addressed to see if they reciprocate. What-ifs don't resolve that and getting excited won't change the fact I don't where he stands.

Truth be told, I didn't know him at all. He saw something I wrote and had a question and messaged me and we continued to talk. That's what I prefer. I don't want a guy watching me and contemplating or engaging in mental gymnastics. Just say hello and go from there. If I'm not interested I'll say so. I won't waste his time or drag things out.

Don't get me wrong. Some people want emotion and butterflies and that's okay. I prefer connections where my position is solidified. I know who I am to him, what he desires of me, and where we're heading.

the overthinking is not "i want this girl to have my babies and how do i plan our wedding," which i feel you may have been thinking lol

I wasn't thinking that at all. I know you're fixated. Only you can determine if remaining in that place is beneficial or not.

if you had prayed for an ideal spouse (whatever that means to you) and a really good person gets your attention, dont you think it's a good idea to look into this person you've met?

No two experiences are the same and the past affects everyone differently. If you're longing for companionship you'll weigh attractions differently from someone who isn't. You feel opportunities should be pursued because you're lonely and want to find her. But that wasn't my experience. I had suitors and if we didn't progress it's okay another will follow. I wasn't afraid of being alone.

bless you i dont mean to argue or be combative. just unsure how to handle things like this, as my OP states, a lot what im experiencing in life now, is new territory.

The anxiety and uncertainty are self-created. You have to get to know her but you don't have to spend every minute wondering how to go about it. God doesn't put us on a hamster wheel. He provides peace in the midst of our circumstances and settles us.

~bella

 

[LoveDivine]

I agree with the advice @bèlla gave you. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with feeling an excitement about meeting a nice Christian woman. I think it's natural to feel an attraction for someone you meet who you think really loves God and is kind to others. I would just not allow yourself to get so caught up in those feelings. I don't think God is placing you in any specific situations to feel this attraction, but rather it is natural for you to find her interesting. Instead of tormenting yourself by overthinking, just take the steps to get to know her better. If she isn't reciprocating interest in you in that way, then you will know that this isn't the person that God is bringing into your life.

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

I agree with the advice @bèlla gave you. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with feeling an excitement about meeting a nice Christian woman. I think it's natural to feel an attraction for someone you meet who you think really loves God and is kind to others. I would just not allow yourself to get so caught up in those feelings. I don't think God is placing you in any specific situations, but rather it is natural for you to find her interesting. Instead of tormenting yourself by overthinking, just take the steps to get to know her better. If she isn't reciprocating interest in you in that way, then you will know that this isn't the person that God is bringing into your life.

Well that's part of it. I'm awful at reading people in general I think. When I'm into a woman, I don't "know how" to leave interactions "normal" or "getting to know" I've always, at any time being attracted to a woman, go into an almost "conquest" mode where I actively want to pursue it and forge into something. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but my impulse is to pursue. But these are maybe different issues for a different topic

 

[LoveDivine]

Well that's part of it. I'm awful at reading people in general I think. When I'm into a woman, I don't "know how" to leave interactions "normal" or "getting to know" I've always, at any time being attracted to a woman, go into an almost "conquest" mode where I actively want to pursue it and forge into something. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but my impulse is to pursue. But these are maybe different issues for a different topic

Interesting. I can't speak for how other women would respond to that. I can only share how I would feel. That would put me off. Especially in a church setting. Why would you want to forge something with a woman you don't know? Think about that. That is certainly not wisdom

There is nothing wrong with being straightforward and asking her out now. You are really just asking her to have lunch and talk to you. You are essentially communicating to her " hey, there is something I noticed about you that I like and I'd like to get to know you."

There is nothing odd about that. But, if a guy who I barely know is coming on too strong or has already developed all these feelings for me before he's even gotten to know me, I would feel concern. You don't actually know anything about her. At this point you should just be hoping to develop a friendship with her. As you spend time talking to her, you will see if you are a good match and if she is attracted to you. Honestly, she can't possibly be seriously interested in you right now since she doesn't know you. There is nothing to pick up or signals you are missing. At most, she is being friendly and talking to you with an interest in getting to know you better.

@ReesePiece23 gave you a good way to approach this.

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

Interesting. I can't speak for how other women would respond to that. I can only share how I would feel. That would put me off. Especially in a church setting. There is nothing wrong with being straightforward and asking her out now. You are really just asking her to have lunch and talk to you. There is nothing odd about that. But, if a guy who I barely know is coming on too strong or has already developed all these feelings for me before he's even gotten to know me, I would feel concern. You don't actually know anything about her. At this point you should just be hoping to develop a friendship with her. As you spend time talking to her, you will see if you are a good match and if she is attracted to you. Honestly, she can't possibly be seriously interested in you right now since she doesn't know you. There is nothing to pick up or signals you are missing. At most, she is being friendly and talking to you with an interest in getting to know you better.

@ReesePiece23 gave you a good way to approach this.

Well that what I mean. I am "worried", always with women, is am I coming on to strong...or not enough. I kind of just wing it, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I don't think this girl is necessarily in love with me or anything like that. But I'm also the kind of guy who misses signals that in retrospect, are quite obvious

 

[LoveDivine]

Well that what I mean. I am "worried", always with women, is am I coming on to strong...or not enough. I kind of just wing it, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I don't think this girl is necessarily in love with me or anything like that. But I'm also the kind of guy who misses signals that in retrospect, are quite obvious

I understand. That is why the best advice is to stop thinking about it and ask her out for lunch or coffee. No signals missed that way. If she doesn't take you up on your invitation, you don't really have anything to be embarrassed about. She was friendly to you initially. It's not odd that you would ask her to lunch. If she says no you can move on. It's simple. Then you don't have to worry that she was showing interest in you and you misread it. It's always good to be straightforward. Don't be invested emotionally in someone you don't know.

Everyone's advice in this thread was to ask her out for coffee or lunch. I think that tells you that asking her out isn't weird or too forward.

 

[sampa]

meant i just want to see the end to see if im wasting my time or not.

It's not odd that you would ask her to lunch. If she says no you can move on. It's simple. Then you don't have to worry that she was showing interest in you and you misread it. It's always good to be straightforward

@terrible-chocolate89 I think this could be your fast forward.

This conversation reminds me of the advise they give with online dating. It's ok to get to know one another for a couple of weeks, but going on a date(asking) is better sooner than later. Then both parties move on. In this case it will be closure for you. I too have done the same and wasted so much time. Please, ask her out and move on if the answer is no.

It could be something as simple as would you like to go for coffee/tea sometime?

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

@terrible-chocolate89 I think this could be your fast forward.

This conversation reminds me of the advise they give with online dating. It's ok to get to know one another for a couple of weeks, but going on a date(asking) is better sooner than later. Then both parties move on. In this case it will be closure for you. I too have done the same and wasted so much time. Please, ask her out and move on if the answer is no.

It could be something as simple as would you like to go for coffee/tea sometime?

i will, i think. i have self-esteem issues, and God is helping me through them (some days i feel like a worm, some days i feel like Christ is literally walking beside me and I'm king of the world). just have to wait for the right day lol

also just about timing. because she works at the church, shes usually greeting people and such by the doors...what ive found is, this is not a good time to approach her lol. IF there is a time where she again approaches me one on one, like she has in the past, then i will ask if shes doing anything after church or something...she seems a bit lonely lol. she says shes often "flying solo" and on easter she was just at church all day and didnt do much else :/

if she approaches me again, then ill take the opportuinity. if she doesnt....well, ill just try to build a more organic rapport and take it slower, you know?

 

[sampa]

IF there is a time where she again approaches me one on one, like she has in the past

My opinion, don't wait!! She will appreciate, if she does want to go out, you taking the effort to ask. If you don't want to ask in front of others, find a moment she's done greeting. Maybe she's leaving church service..." Hey got a minute?" " You seem interesting and I was wondering if you'd like to go for coffee after church sometime?

The more you practice, I think the easier it becomes. Keep low expectations. She might be busy, she might flounder an answer, there's all kinds of possibilities, it's the first step towards getting to know her or moving on when the next atteaction comes. Trust me, you will always have attractions.

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

hey guys, update!

first, i just wanted to stop back in and say i appreciate IMMENSELY everyone's prayers and advice from everyone

i finally got up the courage, and the timing was right, so i asked her out. i asked God for the courage to approach her and not be afraid, and he stood behind me the whole way

She said she couldnt go out today because she has a friend in town from out of state, so she couldnt "but you can text me". so i got her number. we texted for a few hours (about small stuff, she asked me how old i was, talked about faith, her job, etc) before she had to attend to her friend.

so yeah, thats where im at now, again, thanks all. now on to the phase of being text obsessed lol

thanks again brothers and sisters, amen

 

[sampa]

hey guys, update!

first, i just wanted to stop back in and say i appreciate IMMENSELY everyone's prayers and advice from everyone

i finally got up the courage, and the timing was right, so i asked her out. i asked God for the courage to approach her and not be afraid, and he stood behind me the whole way

She said she couldnt go out today because she has a friend in town from out of state, so she couldnt "but you can text me". so i got her number. we texted for a few hours (about small stuff, she asked me how old i was, talked about faith, her job, etc) before she had to attend to her friend.

so yeah, thats where im at now, again, thanks all. now on to the phase of being text obsessed lol

thanks again brothers and sisters, amen

I'm so glad that you took that first step. No matter the outcome, it should help you for the future.

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

I'm so glad that you took that first step. No matter the outcome, it should help you for the future.

I hope so

I could still use prayers if anyone has some to spare....any bible verses you guys want to drop on patience or persistence would be helpful

Also, if any one stumbles on the forum like i did, looking for advice, I would say "minimize dating advice as much as possilbe"

My conversations and trying to set up dates with this girl has not been going as planned. Not bad...but not great. And of you rely too much on forums and the internet for advice it can color your perception of the facts, your confidence, etc


An example: this girl is not a good texter necessarily and her birthday and associated celebrations have been all week, so we haven't been able to set up anything

If you go to a place like reddit, you read tons of "if she doesnt say xyz, she's not interested" or "she's just being nice, she's not interested, etc". Or "move on if xyz thing doesn't happen or she doesn't say ABC, move on". I'm sure some people here are thinking "jeez, terrible chocolate, just move on she's not into you!"

Do not fall into these traps. Much stuff on the internet isn't real! These people are strangers, it makes no sense to let these ideas alter your mindset. People do not exist in a vacuum, people and people's minds are not made on a printing press or cookie cutter. No relationships or interactions go off of a script, no 2 relationships of any kind are the same

I have fallen into these traps and instead of focusing on positives like our decent interactions, her offering me to text her, etc, my brain is saying "she didn't say this or suggest this or mention that, she must just not be interested and leading me on" and I'm not giving her credit or benefit of any legitimate, honest reasons she can't make it on these days

Do not fall into these, brothers and sisters

Like i said, things don't seem very optimistic and a place like reddit or an online "dating advice" site would say to abandon ship. But I'm reminded in all the times god tells us about trust and optimism and especially patience. The jews had to walk for 40 years! Jacob had to work for 14 total years to get a woman he wanted. WE have to wait for christ to return! Jews (and the world) in the old testament era had to wait until Christ's birth!

I'm not saying God is going to guarantee a result that I want. But I also know he comes through. So things seem very rocky and I might not have any reason to be optimistic at this point. But I know I also shouldn't just give up

 

[sampa]

I could still use prayers if anyone has some to spare....any bible verses you guys want to drop on patience or persistence would be helpful

I'll be praying.. I don't have a verse on patience or persistence but on the focus of Christ love for us love for one another.

1 John 4:7-21

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And twe have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 fIf anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

 

[terrible-chocolate89]

I'll be praying.. I don't have a verse on patience or persistence but on the focus of Christ love for us love for one another.

1 John 4:7-21

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And twe have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 fIf anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Thank you

I have love for God and trust in Him on this issue plaguing me. It can just be hard to focus when you want something important to you

I'm hoping for clarity and a less cloudy vision on how to proceed, and praying for the negative voices and ideas to be washed away. Modern dating, especially today, is so difficult and I feel like even more so when you're trying to get involved with a godly potential partner

I should focus on the positives that I KNOW (she told me to text her, I didn't ask, for example) instead of fabricating negatives that I have no clue about (like her just being polite and hoping I get the hint that she's not interested, for example)

There are a lot of reasons real reasons she could be not wanting to meet up right now. Too busy. Maybe too soon to meet up in person. Maybe she wants to feel things out first to see what kind of guy I am...the point is I don't KNOW the reasons, so I shouldn't fixate on them or fabricate scenarios without knowing

I will continue to pray for God to fill my heart and mind and to bring me clarity on the situation