I don’t believe time heals

[Faith over Fear]

My precious big sister passed away in my arms when I was 12 years old. I am currently 19 and still wake up in a gasp. I really do not know if I will ever get over it. I have lost several close family members and friends that have just left me so destroyed! I do not know how to handle life anymore! When I think things are finally getting better something else happens and I’m right back down again. I use to blame God for everything but I was so wrong. God doesn’t cause pain and suffering he allows it. He only allows it to remind us that we are just here temporarily. Life is but a vapor down here but heaven is eternal!!!!

- little Sister-

 

[jacks]

Losing someone close to you is very hard. Even Jesus grieved. Praying for you.

John 11:33-35
"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus wept."

 

[tobelieveinHim]

I agree. Even moving on or trying to move on with someone new, if you can ever even breach that point or ever have the courage to again, it doesn't undo or heal past trauma. Losing your favorite person sucks. Not knowing how or why you lost them sucks even more. ?

 

[TPop]

My precious big sister passed away in my arms when I was 12 years old. I am currently 19 and still wake up in a gasp. I really do not know if I will ever get over it. I have lost several close family members and friends that have just left me so destroyed! I do not know how to handle life anymore! When I think things are finally getting better something else happens and I’m right back down again. I use to blame God for everything but I was so wrong. God doesn’t cause pain and suffering he allows it. He only allows it to remind us that we are just here temporarily. Life is but a vapor down here but heaven is eternal!!!!

- little Sister-

In 2006 Our 7 yr old daughter was killed in right in front of us.
Over time I was able to see the blessings God bestowed upon us.
A wonderful daughter who loved Jesus. She was kind, warm-hearted, and thoughtful. Loved school and learning, and learning about Jesus.
She loved every one.
The community was supportive. We were prepared because we had spent time getting to know God. Lots of love in our family. And we held tight. Because we had Jesus, He kept us strong. But it was not easy for years.

Losing her made the world a lot less colorful for a long time. Very monochrome and not much joy. But it came back over time.

Time does not heal. But it does take the sharp edges off.
Jesus heals and how we look at it heals us.

Peace and Blessings

 

[Aussie Pete]

My precious big sister passed away in my arms when I was 12 years old. I am currently 19 and still wake up in a gasp. I really do not know if I will ever get over it. I have lost several close family members and friends that have just left me so destroyed! I do not know how to handle life anymore! When I think things are finally getting better something else happens and I’m right back down again. I use to blame God for everything but I was so wrong. God doesn’t cause pain and suffering he allows it. He only allows it to remind us that we are just here temporarily. Life is but a vapor down here but heaven is eternal!!!!

- little Sister-

The permitted time for grieving is one week. You cannot bring anyone back and indefinite grieving is destructive. We are exhorted to cast our cares on Him who cares for us. Yes, Jesus was affected by the death of Lazarus, but He did not let it get Him down. If we will allow God to heal us, we will be able to help others who suffer.

2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

I know someone who lost both parents in a car crash. She was just married, in her 20's. She kept focused on Jesus and refused to give in to self pity. I know widowed lady who did the same when her husband passed away. She had a cry for a short while and then got on with life. I came to the home as she rang me while I was at work. She was calm, offering the first responders a cup of coffee and dealing with the funeral home people who came. I was amazed, but I should not have been. She knows Jesus and her first reaction was to cast the care of the situation on Him.

 

[Faith over Fear]

In 2006 Our 7 yr old daughter was killed in right in front of us.
Over time I was able to see the blessings God bestowed upon us.
A wonderful daughter who loved Jesus. She was kind, warm-hearted, and thoughtful. Loved school and learning, and learning about Jesus.
She loved every one.
The community was supportive. We were prepared because we had spent time getting to know God. Lots of love in our family. And we held tight. Because we had Jesus, He kept us strong. But it was not easy for years.

Losing her made the world a lot less colorful for a long time. Very monochrome and not much joy. But it came back over time.

Time does not heal. But it does take the sharp edges off.
Jesus heals and how we look at it heals us.

Peace and Blessings

I’m so sorry for your loss!!! I’m sure that was an extremely difficult time!!

It is a horrible thing to actually watch someone die!!
Thank you for sharing that. It is encouraging to see someone make it through something like that. I am struggling to move on after some recent deaths. My best friend hung her self this past December and I was the one who cut her down. Gosh that screwed me up!! Among other things My aunt, uncle and I were involved in a car wreck last September. They were killed instantly. It was a horrific sight , we hit the back of a cane truck. The images I remember I feel will forever haunt me. I guess that’s life!! Boy is it rough!!!!

 

[jacks]

Praying for both FOF and TPop. Very challenging things you have gone through. I came across this letter from Benjamin Franklin to a widow of a close friend. It brought me some solstice when I lost my parents. Here it is:

I condole (archaic for “grieve”) with you.
We have lost a most dear and valuable relation. But it is the will of God and nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside when the soul is to enter into real life. This is rather an embryo state, a preparation for living. A man is not completely born until he be dead. Why, then, should we grieve that new child is born among the immortals, a new member added to their happy society?
We are spirits. That bodies should be lent us while they afford us pleasure, assist us in the acquiring knowledge or in doing good to our fellow-creates, is a kind and benevolent act of God. When they become unfit for these purposes and afford us pain instead of pleasure, instead of an aid become an encumbrance, and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we may get rid of them. Death is that way. We ourselves, in some cases, prudently choose a partial death. A mangled, painful limb which cannot be restored we willingly cut off. He who plucks out a tooth parts with it freely, since the pain goes with it; and he who quits the whole body parts at once with all pains and possibilities of pains and diseases which it was liable to or capable of making him suffer.
Our friend and we were invited abroad on a party of pleasure which is to last forever. His chair was ready first and he is gone before us. We could not all conveniently start together, and why should you and I be grieved at this, since we are soon to follow and know where to find him

 

[TPop]

I’m so sorry for your loss!!! I’m sure that was an extremely difficult time!!

It is a horrible thing to actually watch someone die!!
Thank you for sharing that. It is encouraging to see someone make it through something like that. I am struggling to move on after some recent deaths. My best friend hung her self this past December and I was the one who cut her down. Gosh that screwed me up!! Among other things My aunt, uncle and I were involved in a car wreck last September. They were killed instantly. It was a horrific sight , we hit the back of a cane truck. The images I remember I feel will forever haunt me. I guess that’s life!! Boy is it rough!!!!

It is not what happens to us. It is how we react and cope. All deaths around us are or can be of varying degrees of pain. As a father, losing a young daughter that you had such high hopes and dreams for on how you would raise her to be strong, loving, and find a great husband, etc. is all dashed. Each day is a new first. First dinner without them. First bedtime without them. First movie, vacation, etc.

I was 12 when my brother killed himself down the hall from me as I slept. Wonderful man, so loving. But the chemical imbalance in him was too much to take I guess. It took him 3 attempts but he finally did it. \

You spend a lot of time in shock which is the body's way of protecting you. It slowly subsides over weeks and months. But it all depends upon the type of loss. A young child or sibling, an elderly grandparent, or a middle-aged friend with a longer-term but deadly cancer or such.

All reasons why we need to be spiritually prepared and raise up and train our children for it as well.

It may discombobulate you for a while. But you recover over time and it becomes less and less of a focal point in your life. Unless you are doing nothing positive. Plant some flowers in your life each day. Days, weeks, and months later, as you look back, you see less scorched earth and more garden.

Peace and Blessings

 

[TPop]

Praying for both FOF and TPop. Very challenging things you have gone through. I came across this letter from Benjamin Franklin to a widow of a close friend. It brought me some solstice when I lost my parents. Here it is:

I condole (archaic for “grieve”) with you.
We have lost a most dear and valuable relation. But it is the will of God and nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside when the soul is to enter into real life. This is rather an embryo state, a preparation for living. A man is not completely born until he be dead. Why, then, should we grieve that new child is born among the immortals, a new member added to their happy society?
We are spirits. That bodies should be lent us while they afford us pleasure, assist us in the acquiring knowledge or in doing good to our fellow-creates, is a kind and benevolent act of God. When they become unfit for these purposes and afford us pain instead of pleasure, instead of an aid become an encumbrance, and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we may get rid of them. Death is that way. We ourselves, in some cases, prudently choose a partial death. A mangled, painful limb which cannot be restored we willingly cut off. He who plucks out a tooth parts with it freely, since the pain goes with it; and he who quits the whole body parts at once with all pains and possibilities of pains and diseases which it was liable to or capable of making him suffer.
Our friend and we were invited abroad on a party of pleasure which is to last forever. His chair was ready first and he is gone before us. We could not all conveniently start together, and why should you and I be grieved at this, since we are soon to follow and know where to find him

We do know where to find them.

Losing a saved loved one is one of the best days of one's life. Losing my daughter was a painful but excellent day. Because of Jesus!

Peace and Blessings

 

[Faith over Fear]

It is not what happens to us. It is how we react and cope. All deaths around us are or can be of varying degrees of pain. As a father, losing a young daughter that you had such high hopes and dreams for on how you would raise her to be strong, loving, and find a great husband, etc. is all dashed. Each day is a new first. First dinner without them. First bedtime without them. First movie, vacation, etc.

I was 12 when my brother killed himself down the hall from me as I slept. Wonderful man, so loving. But the chemical imbalance in him was too much to take I guess. It took him 3 attempts but he finally did it. \

You spend a lot of time in shock which is the body's way of protecting you. It slowly subsides over weeks and months. But it all depends upon the type of loss. A young child or sibling, an elderly grandparent, or a middle-aged friend with a longer-term but deadly cancer or such.

All reasons why we need to be spiritually prepared and raise up and train our children for it as well.

It may discombobulate you for a while. But you recover over time and it becomes less and less of a focal point in your life. Unless you are doing nothing positive. Plant some flowers in your life each day. Days, weeks, and months later, as you look back, you see less scorched earth and more garden.

Peace and Blessings

Amen… That brought tears to my eyes to read that.. I myself have attempted suicide with a pistol a little over a month ago , for some reason it didn’t fire. When I came to my senses, It really scared me that I was that far down to do something like that.. I have started to slit my wrist before but found it practically impossible to kill my self that way. I need to learn to cope with life better. I am self-harming with a knife to deal with the feelings I have. I gave my life to Christ 8 months ago. Life has beat me down. I pray and pray for the day I reach a point in life where I can say it is well with my soul…

It touches me to see you still praising God after what you’ve been through. I’m amazed…

I know a mother and father who lost their son and they took it extremely hard. They are now homeless and on drugs and alcohol. They were very decent folks before that. They gave up on life. It is so sad to see them now.

God bless you!!

 

[TPop]

Amen… That brought tears to my eyes to read that.. I myself have attempted suicide with a pistol a little over a month ago , for some reason it didn’t fire. When I came to my senses, It really scared me that I was that far down to do something like that.. I have started to slit my wrist before but found it practically impossible to kill my self that way. I need to learn to cope with life better. I am self-harming with a knife to deal with the feelings I have. I gave my life to Christ 8 months ago. Life has beat me down. I pray and pray for the day I reach a point in life where I can say it is well with my soul…

It touches me to see you still praising God after what you’ve been through. I’m amazed…

I know a mother and father who lost their son and they took it extremely hard. They are now homeless and on drugs and alcohol. They were very decent folks before that. They gave up on life. It is so sad to see them now.

God bless you!!

If you are attempting suicide, you need a good therapist. A social worker educated in the therapy that would be best for you. Perhaps you have? But you will do your best in therapy.
You would do very well to see a psychiatrist to check out different Rx's for the kind of depression you likely have. Perhaps you have but you want to find the best Rx for you.

You are far beyond the need of counseling from Pastors, church councilors, and friends. I hope and pray you are actively receiving therapy and meds. It is a long road. A very long road for some of us.

Be happy in your depression. God gave it to you for a reason. Knowing why can be very helpful. I believe God gave me severe depression and severe sleep apnea to curb my pride. Does not matter. I am happy in it. As in I acknowledge it. Take measures to fight it. And live an active life. I play hockey and work out as much as I can.

Peace and Blessings.

 

[Faith over Fear]

If you are attempting suicide, you need a good therapist. A social worker educated in the therapy that would be best for you. Perhaps you have? But you will do your best in therapy.
You would do very well to see a psychiatrist to check out different Rx's for the kind of depression you likely have. Perhaps you have but you want to find the best Rx for you.

You are far beyond the need of counseling from Pastors, church councilors, and friends. I hope and pray you are actively receiving therapy and meds. It is a long road. A very long road for some of us.

Be happy in your depression. God gave it to you for a reason. Knowing why can be very helpful. I believe God gave me severe depression and severe sleep apnea to curb my pride. Does not matter. I am happy in it. As in I acknowledge it. Take measures to fight it. And live an active life. I play hockey and work out as much as I can.

Peace and Blessings.

I’m gunna say you amaze me… I am not at the point where I can understand someone being happy over a problem in their life. How can that be!

No, I don’t take meds, see a psychiatrist or anything like that. I’m trying to get off of some meds right now that I’ve been taking for my heart and back… I am sick of living off of meds.
I have avoided taking anything for depression.

 

[TPop]

I’m gunna say you amaze me… I am not at the point where I can understand someone being happy over a problem in their life. How can that be!

No, I don’t take meds, see a psychiatrist or anything like that. I’m trying to get off of some meds right now that I’ve been taking for my heart and back… I am sick of living off of meds.
I have avoided taking anything for depression.

Maybe a change in outlook will help?

To me. God created. And it was Good. It was perfect. Everything in creation was good and perfect. Only what man did with it became the problem.
From the mountains, seas, and deserts to the chemicals, metals, and elements. All good.

To me. Guns are good. They are not amoral as some believe. How can man take the good, metals and chemicals, and turn them into evil simply by combining them? I don't believe we/man can.

The same for prescriptions. Made by man combining God's creation. They are not eveil. Only how man uses a gun or 'drugs' can be evil. That is, we/man use something good for evil.

God says governments are righteous and are His 'Revengers' and have the authority and power from God. Government again. Not evil. Just man. Government has guns, nukes, and medications; all created by man, from God's creation.

Rx's can be used for evil. One way would be to use them in place of God's healing power and say you don't need God because you have medications. But there is no sin in taking medications if that is what is needed. Suicide is top of the pyramid in importance and danger.

Don't let those who blame the victim say that you don't trust God enough if you take meds, or that you don't trust God enough because you have not prayed enough to be delivered from your depression, pain, etc. Those same people are hypocrites. They go to a grocer to buy food, they call the police and fire in times of trouble, they go to engineers, chemists, biologists, and various builders to build a safe home, they go to a doctor for surgery and pain meds to help with healing. Do not listen to those people that say 'you' should not partake of anti-dpressents or therapy, that only if you were right with God and prayed enough you would be healed. Ignore those people. Even if that is you.

Your body can attack you with Lyme disease or a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your body can attack you with pain from severe burns in a house fire or severe pain from migraines. To think that we can use an Rx in some cases and not in others is an issue of Pride. Not an issue of Right and Wrong.

God's creation is good. All of it. A pyramid is not evil because an evil king is buried there, a ziggurat is not evil because they perform 1000 human sacrifices on it per day. It is man that is sinful and evil.

Peace and Blessings

 

[Faith over Fear]

Maybe a change in outlook will help?

To me. God created. And it was Good. It was perfect. Everything in creation was good and perfect. Only what man did with it became the problem.
From the mountains, seas, and deserts to the chemicals, metals, and elements. All good.

To me. Guns are good. They are not amoral as some believe. How can man take the good, metals and chemicals, and turn them into evil simply by combining them? I don't believe we/man can.

The same for prescriptions. Made by man combining God's creation. They are not eveil. Only how man uses a gun or 'drugs' can be evil. That is, we/man use something good for evil.

God says governments are righteous and are His 'Revengers' and have the authority and power from God. Government again. Not evil. Just man. Government has guns, nukes, and medications; all created by man, from God's creation.

Rx's can be used for evil. One way would be to use them in place of God's healing power and say you don't need God because you have medications. But there is no sin in taking medications if that is what is needed. Suicide is top of the pyramid in importance and danger.

Don't let those who blame the victim say that you don't trust God enough if you take meds, or that you don't trust God enough because you have not prayed enough to be delivered from your depression, pain, etc. Those same people are hypocrites. They go to a grocer to buy food, they call the police and fire in times of trouble, they go to engineers, chemists, biologists, and various builders to build a safe home, they go to a doctor for surgery and pain meds to help with healing. Do not listen to those people that say 'you' should not partake of anti-dpressents or therapy, that only if you were right with God and prayed enough you would be healed. Ignore those people. Even if that is you.

Your body can attack you with Lyme disease or a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your body can attack you with pain from severe burns in a house fire or severe pain from migraines. To think that we can use an Rx in some cases and not in others is an issue of Pride. Not an issue of Right and Wrong.

God's creation is good. All of it. A pyramid is not evil because an evil king is buried there, a ziggurat is not evil because they perform 1000 human sacrifices on it per day. It is man that is sinful and evil.

Peace and Blessings

Awesome…..

 

[berry finn]

for such a young age you have experienced tremendous grief...i just lost my husband..and last little dog and i am a wreck under the surface...i wish I could help you...Love to you

 

[Jimmy It]

In reference to "Time," I've heard it said, "It does not get better, it just gets further away."
God however can heal.

 

[Faith over Fear]

for such a young age you have experienced tremendous grief...i just lost my husband..and last little dog and i am a wreck under the surface...i wish I could help you...Love to you

So very sorry for your loss…..
God’s blessings to you!

 

[linux.poet]

I’m so sorry for your loss!!! I’m sure that was an extremely difficult time!!

It is a horrible thing to actually watch someone die!!
Thank you for sharing that. It is encouraging to see someone make it through something like that. I am struggling to move on after some recent deaths. My best friend hung her self this past December and I was the one who cut her down. Gosh that screwed me up!! Among other things My aunt, uncle and I were involved in a car wreck last September. They were killed instantly. It was a horrific sight , we hit the back of a cane truck. The images I remember I feel will forever haunt me. I guess that’s life!! Boy is it rough!!!!

Amen… That brought tears to my eyes to read that.. I myself have attempted suicide with a pistol a little over a month ago , for some reason it didn’t fire. When I came to my senses, It really scared me that I was that far down to do something like that.. I have started to slit my wrist before but found it practically impossible to kill my self that way. I need to learn to cope with life better. I am self-harming with a knife to deal with the feelings I have. I gave my life to Christ 8 months ago. Life has beat me down. I pray and pray for the day I reach a point in life where I can say it is well with my soul…

It touches me to see you still praising God after what you’ve been through. I’m amazed…

I know a mother and father who lost their son and they took it extremely hard. They are now homeless and on drugs and alcohol. They were very decent folks before that. They gave up on life. It is so sad to see them now.

God bless you!!

I agree with @TPop that you badly need to be in therapy. Most specifically, getting help from a trauma therapist, as watching deaths can be traumatic as well as inspire grief. A trauma class can also help.

Another book I would recommend is the book Take Back Your Life by Levi Lusko, as he spends much ink talking about the death of his daughter at the age of 5 and what the Lord has taught him through that experience. That book might be useful for both of you.

On top of that, like, it sounds like you're living in a really dangerous area with all of the deaths and suicides. Maybe it's time to move away? May the Lord protect you.

 

[Faith over Fear]

I agree with @TPop that you badly need to be in therapy. Most specifically, getting help from a trauma therapist, as watching deaths can be traumatic as well as inspire grief. A trauma class can also help.

Another book I would recommend is the book Take Back Your Life by Levi Lusko, as he spends much ink talking about the death of his daughter at the age of 5 and what the Lord has taught him through that experience. That book might be useful for both of you.

On top of that, like, it sounds like you're living in a really dangerous area with all of the deaths and suicides. Maybe it's time to move away? May the Lord protect you.

Thanks….

It’s funny you should suggest moving, I have just started considering that… I just wouldn’t want to move to far because I do have some people in my town I would hate to leave. I don’t know, I have thoughts of moving 2 towns over. Which would be about 40 minutes away.
My town truly is bad for crime and early death..

 

[returntosender]

Down the road you will, stay strong